Mom won't allow locked doors T_T

[punkjake]

Well when i masturbate i ussaly lock the doors for privacy and she has threatened to take my computer away if keep locking my door,i sometimes masturbate in the bathroom but i don't really like that much since its a place 4 pooping lol.SHe knows i masturbate becuz a when i was 12 i thought i was gay :NUTSHELL:and i was deperssed told her about guy fantasies she said u not gay it natural you ok:UNUTSHELL: so yeah i want to tell her I only lock it for those reasons T_T plz help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[goin to work]

well honestly as odd as it is id just tell ur mom why you lock the door

[Skeln]

OK, well the reason why she doesn't like locked doors is beause for all she knows you snuck a firend into the house, and you could also be looking at pornography with is a big no no for parents. I don't suggest you tell her why you want the door locked, just go with the rules and try to find a flaw. Maybe at night she'll be more prone to let you lock the door.

[Oblivion]

What about masturbating at night, or when she's not home?
She does have a right to take your locks away, especially when she doesn't know what's going on. She's just looking out for you.

So either tell her the truth, or stop locking your doors would be my advice.

[MisterAndrews]

Well if she knows you masturbate then she knows to give you a bit of privacy so there really is no need for a lock. I don't have one and its fine, I've just asked everyone to knock before they come in because it's polite. Try that :)

It's safer without a lock too, just incase you do something like fall over and fall unconcious with the door locked.

[John]

Well if she knows you masturbate then she knows to give you a bit of privacy so there really is no need for a lock. I don't have one and its fine, I've just asked everyone to knock before they come in because it's polite. Try that :)

It's safer without a lock too, just incase you do something like fall over and fall unconcious with the door locked.

:O same. i tell people to knock and if they start rushing in i say go away im getting changed :D then finish up. lol :)

and that falling over bit sorry... HAHA ! LOLOLOL !!!!!!!!!

[MisterAndrews]

and that falling over bit sorry... HAHA ! LOLOLOL !!!!!!!!!

you never know... quite a few people die because theyve fallen in the house and no ones got to them

[chris__robin]

ive never had a lock on my door before and ive never been caught masturbating or anything like that ... just close the door and do it ... maybe tell your mum to be polite and knock first

[Lights]

You don't need to lock it or anything.. just listen out for people coming up the stairs, well that's what I do and it works out just fine (:

[byee]

Jake, I think the bigger issue here is WHY your mom won't allow this. So, either your mom doesn't listen to you and consider your needs, or is into control in a major way, at the very least, and at worst, you and she have a pretty major trust issue going on there. Either way, it's about more than privacy and locked doors and masturbation.

So, I'd try to find out exactly why she feels so strongly about this, and then (without being defensive!) respond to *whatever* her concerns are. By hearing her concerns/reasons and then responding to them by giving her more accurate info, she might be able to change her mind and let you have control over the lock on your door. And, you get to practice important skills (communication, negotiation, clarification) in the process.

[MisterAndrews]

I agree with sam, listen to him he's usually right :P




Removed previously deleted comments.
~Nick [Oblivion]

[The Boy Genius]

Masterbation is nateral. Wouldn't god prefer it to us having un maryed sex? What do you do when you get horny? Why does god not want us to masterbate I can't understand.

[Death]

Absolutely correct. To think that masturbation is wrong is illogical and ignorant. It is in fact good for you, especially the sperm. If you let your testicles build up sperm for too long (although I'm talking about a long time here), it can get damaging. Why should you have to have sex to solve it or have a good time? Masturbation is a safe and fun way of doing a good thing. If you couldn't masturbate, more people would have bad relationships just for the ejaculation and that would be a bad thing. Why the hell are you under the impression, Prince of Peace, that it is a sin? What will it be next time? Eating fruit and vegetables to keep healthy is immoral? I bloody well hope it won't be since, like the thought of masturbation being wrong, is so weird and you haven't actually explained the immorality in it.

The same about pornography; it does no harm and some people like it. I know plenty of people who look at it (they don't even do it often). Are they all evil? And yes, kindly keep your religious views to yourself. I for one don't believe in God so please don't make me. Also please try to not intimidate us by using Hell as an excuse. As for the locked door thing, you should really speak with your mum, punkjake, since there is no other way. I find it wrong that you are not allowed privacy so I would do something about it if I were you. Good luck with this.

EDIT: Just so you know, said post has been deleted now - I can see why.

[Stevo 69]

Why not just use the bathroom? that has a lock for obvious reasons, toilet and bath or shower. So go into the bathroom and your mum will never know.

[The Joker]

I agree with Sam, and I have to add, if she knows you masturbate, you can just tell her that's why.

[coodood]

your in a tough situation. Telling your mom you lock the door to masturbate would be really awkward. But if she walked in on you it would be even worse.

[Sammeh]

Just try time it to when you wont get caught... Though, if you've got that kind of openess with your mum, just tell her why you want the door closed and you'll get your privacy I imagine :)

[rubidoux]

If you were that willing to tell your mom that you fantasized about men, then I don't think I understand why it's difficult for you to tell her why you want to lock your door.

But either way, don't people knock before coming in your room when you have the door closed? That's common courtesy, and I'm pretty sure most parents will at least do that.

[notsure101]

As odd as this will sound I feel the change in air pressure and I can listen if she is near my door

[guacamole24]

Jake, I think the bigger issue here is WHY your mom won't allow this. So, either your mom doesn't listen to you and consider your needs, or is into control in a major way, at the very least, and at worst, you and she have a pretty major trust issue going on there. Either way, it's about more than privacy and locked doors and masturbation.

So, I'd try to find out exactly why she feels so strongly about this, and then (without being defensive!) respond to *whatever* her concerns are. By hearing her concerns/reasons and then responding to them by giving her more accurate info, she might be able to change her mind and let you have control over the lock on your door. And, you get to practice important skills (communication, negotiation, clarification) in the process.

Agreed.

[optimashprime]

just telll her

she will understand

[confusedand14]

i guess you could tell her if you really wanted to. Or just ask that she knocks before coming in.

I never lock my door, but my mom almost never comes into my room anyway.

[punkjake]

Jake, I think the bigger issue here is WHY your mom won't allow this. So, either your mom doesn't listen to you and consider your needs, or is into control in a major way, at the very least, and at worst, you and she have a pretty major trust issue going on there. Either way, it's about more than privacy and locked doors and masturbation.

So, I'd try to find out exactly why she feels so strongly about this, and then (without being defensive!) respond to *whatever* her concerns are. By hearing her concerns/reasons and then responding to them by giving her more accurate info, she might be able to change her mind and let you have control over the lock on your door. And, you get to practice important skills (communication, negotiation, clarification) in the process.

we are close but she just doesn't want me looking at porn

[MisterAndrews]

So tell her that you dont look at porn then try to cut down on looking at it until you've stopped. Or tell her the truth but say that you're trying to stop :)

[byee]

we are close but she just doesn't want me looking at porn

Well, not wanting you to look at porn and preventing you from locking your door are different. It's not like one prevents the other, it just makes you feel vulnerable, which is supposed to prevent you from looking at it. So, it's an indirect way of controlling your behavior by instilling a feeling, a sense of vulnerability and of getting 'caught'. It's not reallty the best way for either of you to address her concerns.

You might want to discuss with her what her actual concerns are about your looking at porn, and then reassure her you donlt see sex/women/relationships that way and that preventing you from locking the door not only doesn't change anything, but adds a layer of resentment.

[plopalopa]

wel i dnt hav a lock and i stil masterbate! u dnt need 1!
jus do it either:
-when no1s home
-at nite
-in the bathroom/when havin a shower ore bath
-or jus time it rite!