Worst Day Ever:(

[Beautiful Obsession]

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(<-- how imfeeling

well basicly i was alritee in the mornin and after break we had double p.e and we were in groups. our group was doin relays ect..

we had ran around the field 3 times(wich is big) and done like 100metres 5 times racing. i was relii out of breath, felt faint and was strugglin to breath. (prob because of me not eating). Anway my p.e teacher was relli nice n everything then all my other m8s wich wernt there all came over telin all the p.e teachers i wasnt eating and then the one started giving me food wich i wudnt take!!! so she told me to buy something but i never cuz i didnt feel lyk it.

everyone kept havin ago at me n everything wich resulted in me cutting..

at the end of the day i was walkin home with one of my mates and my form teacher and the p.e teacher was at the front gate, my form teacher who had spoken to me last yr frm not eatin. she wasnt impressed as i just found out that her best mate died of anorexia when she was 17. im not anorexia but it relli upset her.

my mate started sayin she was gunna tellin my mum everything and she promised not to.


so later she called on me to go out and i was upstairs.. SHE TOLD MY MUM!
who went sick at me n everything. now she thinks im smoking (wich i hav quit) and is takin me for one of those breath things to see, shes gunna go more sick at me and i have now fallen out with that friend because she promised me and obv issnt a good mayte right? plus she laughed in my face and i was cryin!!



relli wana kill myself right now im thinkin about it, that sounds perfetic don't it?
but its how im feeling:(:(


HELP!!

[Truth]

You say you dont have anorexia, and you dont eat. From that i tell your starting it, if you dont already. your friends a good mate, because she told you mom, people dont want you to die hollie; and suicide will not help at all. Sucide is a permanent answer to a un-permanent problem. You need to eat, you know. and just tell your mom your non smoking, and if people find out you arent eating, dont cut! it will make things alot worse if you do! it is not worth it.

By the way sorry for the grammar, i was idk when i wrote this =[

[byee]

*Sam notices that Truth consistently gives really good advice*

I agree with Truth, Hollie. I also think your mum knowing presents with the opportunity for you to get some help and address all that bothers you so that you can get off that ride you're on. Help her to see that smoking isn't the issue here, it's your feelings and the cutting and anorexia you use to deal with them.

[just-another-guy]

i also agree your mum should know and i have a friend who tried suicide and she regrets it so much she told me to never even think about it because if u were gone u never realize how many people you would hurt and how many people would miss you.

[Beautiful Obsession]

yes but my mum isnt, shes going sick at me and wont talk to me. and my ex-mayte wasnt doin it to help me, she was doin it to annoy me, she was laughing at me when i was crying and couldnt give a toss about mee..

tody wasnt so bad, I just avoiding teachers as muh as i could:)

x

oh bdw.. im only not eatin until i lose enough wait, its not a perminant thing:) x

[BlackenedSilver]

Im sure your mum does really care about you, just this also has an effect on her. She might not actually know how to feel at the moment. It is a good thing that she knows, now you might be able to overcome this eating disorder before it takes a hold of you. It doesn't take much until you will start feeling like you need it, well I guess you know that it's the same with cutting. (Ish)
Hmm.. maybe your friend was trying to help you but going the wrong way about it.

Btw you do know that if you don't eat much for a while and then go back to normal eating patterns then you will gain weight :/ Because your body goes into starvation mode and runs off of any fat on your body. When you do eat again it then stores the food as fat because it doesn't know when it's next meal is going to be. Or something like that.
Keep safe :) xxx

[Never_Forget]

im only not eatin until i lose enough wait
If you lose weight by starving yourself then you get it back straight away when you start eating again, and losing weight that fast can leave stretched skin.
Lose weight by exercising and eating a balanced diet, steering away from fatty foods.

[just-another-guy]

when you dont eat you body not only eats fat cells it uses ur muscles for energy you should just keep active and eat right have healthy snacks and eat every meal just in the right portion

[Truth]

oh bdw.. im only not eatin until i lose enough wait, its not a perminant thing:) x Its easy to say that, but once you start anorexia, you might think of yourself as fat and see yourself fat. You will gain back the weight when you start to eat along with alot of new stretch marks, you will be alot more tired then usual. Eat healthy to lose weight, a stick is not attractive holly, a curvy girl is.

[PrincessSarey]

Just to say, you don't always gain the weight back, I never did, and I haven't, despite me eating "normally" now and recovering. It depends on the person.

But tbh, if you wanna lose weight, why risk your life in doing so? Lose it properly. Go to a doctor. Eat healthier, eat meals, breakfast, lunch, dinner, healthy snacks to nibble on throughout the day if you get peckish, plenty of water, and maintain a good exercise schedule to keep fit and active.

Not some crash/starvation/restrictive """diet""". LIFESTYLE CHANGES.

That's it really.

I'd happily turn back time and give away this eating disorder and never have developed one. It's hell. And sterotyped as losing weight when it's not about weight, it's much deeper than that.

[Beautiful Obsession]

thanks guyss:)
x

[CuriousDestruction]

losing weight can be a good thing. if you are unhealthy or overweight. from the sounds of it, that is not the case. not eating isn't always a sign of thinking of yourself as overweight. often it can be a sign of depression, which from what you've described, is what you are going through.

which is why i think that having friends right now is a good thing. i mean, it's always a good thing, but i tell you from experience that having friends when you are depressed can save your life. so i hope that you and your mate make up and you look to your friends and family for support.

i also hope that you do start eating healthy again. not eating CAN kill you. i hope that you can understand that. i suggest that you go to a doctor and ask him or her about what you can do to lose weight without killing yourself.

as for your mom, she may find it hard to trust you right now. she may be thinking that you really hate her and have lied to her about other things. you have to convince her this isn't true if this be the case. talk to her in truth about why you think you stopped eating. whether it really was for losing weight or it was something else... hopefully she'll see that you are trying to tell the truth to you now and want her support.

finally, Hollie don't kill yourself. there are so many things you can do to fix this. the world may seem to be falling down around your ears, but it will get better. don't give up!

[Beautiful Obsession]

thanks:)
ii am over weight though im 9 stone 2 and im 14>:(
do you really think im depressed? i was lookin at the bipolar symptons yesterday adn they seem quite familiar to me which really scares me, i seem to be fine one min and not the next??

x

[PrincessSarey]

Just because you're 14 ... has nothing to do with your body size, body frame, height and weight.

[CuriousDestruction]

thanks:)
ii am over weight though im 9 stone 2 and im 14>:(
do you really think im depressed? i was lookin at the bipolar symptons yesterday adn they seem quite familiar to me which really scares me, i seem to be fine one min and not the next??

x

depression and bipolarity often go together. in fact it is considered a manic-depressive disorder. personally i can't diagnose if you are bipolar, to do that you need to see a medical professional. what i do know for sure is that if you are depressed, then you should get help. whether it's here on the forums. or with friends and family. or by getting a therapist.

[Beautiful Obsession]

thanks:) x