was it my fault?

[Master_Miyagi]

so my friend (who was older than me by about 5 years) got into heroin about 3 years ago when i didn't know him, and about 6 months ago, i decided to try it to see what would happen, (i was in a deep state of depression) and after that i experimented with it about 5 more times and my friend, (who was a full blown addict) was going in and out of rehab, and he just couldn't seem to get better. but there was a time where he told me he was trying really hard to stay off of it...and during that time period all we would talk about when we were together was the drug, so one day i called him up and asked him if he wanted to throw any money on a baggie, and he did. he ended up doing the whole thing in one shot (which is a lot.) about 1 month after that i heard he was put in a rehab because his parents wanted him to go. i also found out that they made him stop cold turkey, and gave him all the wrong drugs to get off of heroin.
but about 2 weeks into him being in rehab he tried to hang himself... and on april 1st the doctors pulled the plug on his life support because his body kept siezing up

i didn't post this to be judged on my actions, i posted because i feel like his death was my fault, and that i could have done something for him

even though he was an addict it feels like i helped him kill himself in a way, because i COULD have said something, and i DID do these drugs with him....is the way im feeling normal?

[Jalin]

No one should judge you on your past actions, people do dumb stuff. It's called life. People will get over it.


Anyways;
It was kinda your fault, but don't let my opinion bring you down. You did buy a bag, which he ended up doing all by himself. You basically gave him his death-wish.

But you did help him back into rehab; where he soon died. So it is kinda your fault.

But life is life, you will move on.
Don't take a beating out of it.. people do dumb stuff.

[abc1723]

i dont believe it is your fault, you did buy a bag but it was his choice to use it, and it was also his choice to try and kill himself.
you didnt make him do anything, he choice to do it himself.

[byee]

I'm sorry this happened. I can appreciate how awful you feel. But no mere mortal can pass judgement on this type of responsibility, only you can determine what your role here was.

I think at the very least you learned a very painful lesson about the power of influence and the need to consider that when making decisions that involve others. Rather than spend the rest of your life wondering or agonizing over the actions of your friend and your possible role in his decision making process, I think it might be better to use the simple awareness that we have responsibility to others if merely by our influence to help them be the best that they can be. And by so doing, be the best that we are, too.


Maybe you could start by addressing your own addiction, as well as that underlying depression, and get back on track.

[Hyper]

Heres what I think.. Anyone addicted to anything who choose to start again have only themselves to hold accountable

Sure you hold blame but saying your responsible for his death is naive and stupid the only one really responsible is himself, he got into it and he wasn't strong enough to stop.

Could, if, what could've I? Are irrelevant their a part of the story but they don't play the main part.

You should rather learn from this and not waste your life the same way.

[Truth]

It was not your fault; it was his own.

[Bluearmy]

In most cases it is ultimatly the choices that that person makes by him/her self that cause their demise.

However, other people ussually can influence a person in a strong or weak way. You did influence him down his own path of destruction, but you are not the one who generally is to blame here.

[Master_Miyagi]

Maybe you could start by addressing your own addiction, as well as that underlying depression, and get back on track.

i haven't done the drug since april 1st, and even though it has presented itself to me (more than one time), i have stayed away from it

[byee]

Good for you! If you can use this awful experience to change your life, it might make the loss of your friend a bit more tolerable.