I Don't Fucking Care Anymore...

[MysticalBurrito]

-Removed-

[Dack]

Sucicide is never an answer to any problem, no matter how bad. I understand your dad problem, my Great grandmother was a strong woman...alas, she passed to the land of the dead this time last year...but death never answers your problem, permanen fix, life, gone...

[MysticalBurrito]

I don't care if I have over 45 years of life yet its not worth it

[Dack]

Death is your only thing to think of? Death is eternal, permanently ending it wont solve it, only make it worse, being among the living is a privilage, and you should be honoured to have it, dont end it because of hatred towards your mom.

[Bluearmy]

You are forgetting that parents are not supermen. They have flaws, and random bursts of sensless outrage as well as anyone else. Just like you do when you cut yourself or want to kill yourself for your problems, your mom did a drastic and wrong thing by yelling at you in a sort of way to release her anger and fustration.

It can get rather fustrating when a person you care about, and are working with twoards progression, suddenly 'caves' at anything.

I am pretty sure your mom will get over it by the next hour or day. And probably will apologize.

As for your dad, do you really think he wants you to kill yourself? Nobody does, look around you, you are the only person that want you dead.

[MysticalBurrito]

:( If anything happens to my dad I don't know what I would do...

[peaceloverugby]

*hug* i'm always here when u need me

[MysticalBurrito]

:hug: Thanks but talking isnt helping...

[Truth]

:( If anything happens to my dad I don't know what I would do... You cry, it's what i did when my dad died.

Dont let your mom bother you so much, what some one says shouldnt make you commit suicide.

[Jalin]

Don't let your mom get to you like that.
She's stressed.. she's probably just exhausted from all the hard work she has put in to keep the family sane.

Killing yourself isn't the answer. If you did, your mom would feel horrible, and wouldn't know what to do with herself. She would eventually feel bad and be like.. "This is all because of ME!" And she would want you back.. but she can't because you couldn't handle life and killed yourself.
I don't want to see anyone killing themselves because they can't handle the way life is supposed to be. It's supposed to be hard at times, and not everyone survives it.. thus we have suicide.
It's not a right thing to do. It's selfish, and just stupid to even think of!
Don't forget the people you love, and the people that love you.. without you, somehow-somewhere.. someone you know is hurting.. even though you don't know it.

Don't do it.. please?<3

[Flutterfly]

I'm sorry, that must all really suck. But suicide won't help. Sure your pain here will end, but what if your life was about to get better right after you made that decision? You never know what life is going to throw at you. It can be awful for years and then you'll have a time of happiness. Don't give up before you get there. Would your dad want you to kill yourself? Certainly not because of him, would he? If not for any other reason, just don't kill yourself or give up because of your dad. Because even if he dies, he will always love you. I hope he gets better. If you want me to I can pray for him, but if you'd rather I didn't I understand.

[Pirate]

I know how your feeling, my mum reacted in a similar way a few years ago. She told me she hated me on my birthday. But looking back, I see now it's because she doesn't understand, and she panicked and said things that didn't make sense and she didn't mean. I know this doesn't change what happened, but it wasn't genuine, your mum is probably just freaking out and handling the situation in an awful way.
You say you want your dad to live to see your children and that?
Well, you have to keep hoping he does, but he won't have anything to see if you give in now. Live for your dad, put your feelings for what happened with your mum aside (easier said than done, I know, but possible)
If he can stay strong, so can you. Don't give up love.

[MysticalBurrito]

Thanks everyone..
I was having a terrible night and I needed to get a lot of stuff out :)

:hug:

[loz4]

When my dad died I sank into months of depression, realised that I was failing school, swallowed my pain, got my life back on track and im now happy, I'm pretty sure that your situation is worse because my mum helped me and without her I don't know what I would of done. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

[CuriousDestruction]

Thanks everyone..
I was having a terrible night and I needed to get a lot of stuff out :)

:hug:

i'm glad you are feeling better. i hope you realize that there are still people out there who care about you. even if you don't think life is worth it, other people think your life IS worth it. don't give up!

[byee]

Let me put a different spin on this, tell me how it sounds.

Your family is on overload right now. Between your dad's serious health issues and your serious issues, it might be more than your mom can stand right now, she might be out of bandwidth, she can't cope with you and him on the edge here.

I'd suggest you and mom have a quiet talk sometime and let her know how frightened you are about dad, and how sad it makes you thinking about what might happen to him, and to you. You might be better able to access that loving, compassionate part of your mom if you show her that vulnerable, honest, non angry side of yourself. You (and she) might find much common ground here, and from that, you might be able to get thru this much better than you are.

We sometimes forget that parents are people too, that eventhough they're adults and in charge, they sometimes can't do it all, and they need some of our help too. By recognizing that, and maybe approaching both her and your own reaction to stress differently, you might find the supoort you both need to get thru this.

[Bluearmy]

Let me put a different spin on this, tell me how it sounds.

Your family is on overload right now. Between your dad's serious health issues and your serious issues, it might be more than your mom can stand right now, she might be out of bandwidth, she can't cope with you and him on the edge here.

I'd suggest you and mom have a quiet talk sometime and let her know how frightened you are about dad, and how sad it makes you thinking about what might happen to him, and to you. You might be better able to access that loving, compassionate part of your mom if you show her that vulnerable, honest, non angry side of yourself. You (and she) might find much common ground here, and from that, you might be able to get thru this much better than you are.

We sometimes forget that parents are people too, that eventhough they're adults and in charge, they sometimes can't do it all, and they need some of our help too. By recognizing that, and maybe approaching both her and your own reaction to stress differently, you might find the supoort you both need to get thru this.

Good point, the mom is under alot of stress right now having to deal with your dad and you.

I mean, a husband with serious health issues, and a suicidal DAUGHTER. You have to admit, that is pretty hard stuff. Put yourself in her shoes, I am sure she is going through quite alot.

[MysticalBurrito]

I'm not a boy -.-

And even before the issues with my dad came up she would yell at my with no mercy....
:(

Thanks Sam that helped me a lot :)

[Blue63]

I'm so sorry, everything happening to you, it's really saddening. I'll do my best here, good luck!

First your mom, she lashed out, it happens, we all explode. You have to look at it through her eyes, she saw her daughter, her precious baby "hacking herself" again, it scared her, she exploded. As angry as she was, she's doing it to protect you, she doesn't want you to hurt yourself, and does love you. She just didn't show it well here. She loves you, no matter what, like you should still love her, no matter what.

Your Dad, what a horrible situation. To have not only a close family member, but a voice of reason to just go, wow what a horrible thought. You just have to see that, and realize what can come from it. You have to cherish every moment you have with him, understand it's no ones fault that he is like that. Just try and set your priorities straight, and right now it sounds like your dad should be at the top of that list. Good luck to both you and him.

[myskias]

hey im sorry about your mom and dad situation. but if u ever want someone to talk to in more of a instant message way. send me a PM and il give you my aim and we can talk on that :). i can help much better over aim

[dstnyisurs]

Darling, please don't delve into suicide.
That was wrong of your mum, and it's so incredibly sad about your dad, but suicide is never ever ever the answer. Please, we all care about you and no one wants you to die. Your mums just shocked and scared, she really does care about you.
If you need anything at all, if you want to talk I will answer PM's or instant messanger, and if you use a different type of IM then me I will log onto another type if you need to talk.
There are people here for you.

[The Freed]

Your mother is actually worried about you.
She just happens to be unsure of what to do.