Kurfenfo
June 1st, 2009, 12:30 AM
I don't know if this is in the right section, but anyway...
I don't know what's going on. I'm straight, and I like this one girl in my class. Pretty, smart, talented, athletic, the type of girl a guy could fall for. Yeah, this is irrelevant to the topic though.
This might get long...
I don't know what the hell is going on. I've been getting this weird feeling, it's fucking with my mind. I met this one guy a few months back..in Algebra 2 tutoring. I never met him before, but he came in the classroom with a friend I knew. I dunno, we just said "What's up?" to eachother, and sat down. The sign-in sheet was passed down from the other side of the classroom (there were other people there) until it made it to us. My friend wrote his name down and gave the sheet to me. I wrote my name down and passed it down to that other guy I didn't know. I swear that guy looked like a 'Carlos', but when he got the sheet and almost wrote his name down he stopped and looked back at me and said, "The fuck? Why're you stealing my name?"
I looked up at him and gave him the "The hell?" face, but he disregarded it and started laughing. He was joking around, so I had no other option but to laugh too. Us three guys had the same name, which was fucking hilarious and weird in a way. When the session was over, I said later to the friend I knew, and we gave our knuckles to eachother. (There was no other way I could say that, but I mean that clap and knuckle things guys do...kinda screwed up that guys do it and never gave it an official name, but then again no one really cares) I was about to do the same with the other guy, but instead he grabbed my hand, and we both shook hands. I shaked hands very rarely, so I found it kinda weird. they both left the classroom from the front door, while I left from the back door. I didn't feel anything then.
I haven't seen that other new guy before, that was the first time I met him. I started seeing him more recently about a month and a half ago. His first perioid class is the same room as my homeroom, so I see him come in while I leave. The first time I bumped in to him, he was aiming to shake my hand but I was going to knuckle-touch (it's a habit), but we collided and he just asked me "Which one you want?" I just responded, and fuck I regret saying that, but I said, "Which ever one you feel is more formal" From then on whenever he say me, he shakes my hand. I was okay with it, I guess.
Then all of a sudden, the next day, I don't know what the fuck happened. I was entering class when I saw that one guy again. Right when I saw him, I started breathing faster, and I was feeling nervous. I thought it was 'cause I had a test that same day, but when he came to my direction, my heart beat started to go up. He said "What's up?" to me again, and I just said "I'm cool", but inside I felt really weird.
Then some college testing started and he was there. I saw him sitting by himself, so I asked if I could sit down and he said it was cool. During the test (which was 5 hours long) I saw him struggling. I felt bad that he was working himself up, so I felt like I had to help him, and I did. I wrote down notes on a sheet of paper, and passed it to him secretly. He was actually grateful for those, and he ended up finishing before I did. I didn't really care though, but the fact that I helped him made me feel like i did the right thing, on my part.
I kept getting that fucking weird feeling every time I had any type of contact with him. I had no I dea what the hell was going on, so I tried to go along with it. But getting all nervous and having my heart beat faster every time I saw him started to get fucking irritating. So one day I asked him if I could talk to him. He agreed and we went to go talk by the side of some building during lunch. Earlier, though, he kept asking me what I wanted to talk to him about, but I kept telling him not to worry about it. I extended the wait for too long and by the time it was lunch the following day (Me talking to him by the wall happened the next day) he immediately wanted to know what the hell was going on. I was about to start talking, then I thought about it. How fucking weird is it to have a guy talk to a guy, telling him how he feels when he's around him?
Right when I was about to start talking when he blurted out "Just say it" in a mad/worried tone. I just told him "This is kinda hard to talk about", but he answered back with the same tone "Just say it" By then I completely lost the heart to tell him anything. I fucking felt like socking him in the face, even if it was against my ethics, but then I felt really bad. I don't know if it was his ignorance or my stupidity. So I had to change the subject, because it was already too late cancel it. I asked him that if we were actually friends, since he only shook hands with me, it made me feel like I had authority. He said in a colled voice "Yeah we are, dude, you didn't even have to ask that" I felt fucking stupid for asking that, but I already worried him enough, so I had to cover it. We closed the conversation and he just said "Alright, cool," he shook my hand and said, "Later." I felt fucking stupid.
Afterwards he still kept shaking my hand, and I was cool with it, but I still felt nervous around him. It was different than when I felt nervous when talking to the girl I liked. Now that guy looks at me and I feel like he's trying to ignore me. on Friday we passed eachother in the hallways but he ignored me. I saw him and he saw me, but he acted as if I wasn't there. I felt worried that he probably thinks of that whole situation the wrong way.
He has spiky hair, is pretty thin and his height was a few inches lower than mine. He's in the football team, but isn't the type of stereotypical football guy you would think of. He's cool actually.
In reality, though, I don't know what the hell I'm feeling. I'm straight, and I don't feel sexually or physically attracted to him. Honestly, thinking about making out with him is just sick (sorry if that offends anyone). But I still feel nervous around him, and I'm trying to keep cool, but it feels fucking impossible. I feel like I have to see him, or shake hands with him. Everytime I think of him I get that feeling again...and when I forget how he looks like that feeling fades away. It's been fucking with me, and I can't stand it. It's been depressing me, and hurting me inside. I try to maintain my cool, but it just keeps coming back.
To summarize everything...I like this one girl and I get nervous around her. I met some guy and all of a sudden I get nervous around him--when I talk or shake hands with him. But the type of nervousness is different, completely different than what I feel around girls I like.
Am I starting to have an attraction towards him? Is it normal? Does it have anything to do with a mental attraction?
I have nothing against homosexuals (used as a scientific term, not an offensive term). They're people too, there's no real difference. But I just feel insecure about this situation I'm in. I really don't know what to do.
I don't know what's going on. I'm straight, and I like this one girl in my class. Pretty, smart, talented, athletic, the type of girl a guy could fall for. Yeah, this is irrelevant to the topic though.
This might get long...
I don't know what the hell is going on. I've been getting this weird feeling, it's fucking with my mind. I met this one guy a few months back..in Algebra 2 tutoring. I never met him before, but he came in the classroom with a friend I knew. I dunno, we just said "What's up?" to eachother, and sat down. The sign-in sheet was passed down from the other side of the classroom (there were other people there) until it made it to us. My friend wrote his name down and gave the sheet to me. I wrote my name down and passed it down to that other guy I didn't know. I swear that guy looked like a 'Carlos', but when he got the sheet and almost wrote his name down he stopped and looked back at me and said, "The fuck? Why're you stealing my name?"
I looked up at him and gave him the "The hell?" face, but he disregarded it and started laughing. He was joking around, so I had no other option but to laugh too. Us three guys had the same name, which was fucking hilarious and weird in a way. When the session was over, I said later to the friend I knew, and we gave our knuckles to eachother. (There was no other way I could say that, but I mean that clap and knuckle things guys do...kinda screwed up that guys do it and never gave it an official name, but then again no one really cares) I was about to do the same with the other guy, but instead he grabbed my hand, and we both shook hands. I shaked hands very rarely, so I found it kinda weird. they both left the classroom from the front door, while I left from the back door. I didn't feel anything then.
I haven't seen that other new guy before, that was the first time I met him. I started seeing him more recently about a month and a half ago. His first perioid class is the same room as my homeroom, so I see him come in while I leave. The first time I bumped in to him, he was aiming to shake my hand but I was going to knuckle-touch (it's a habit), but we collided and he just asked me "Which one you want?" I just responded, and fuck I regret saying that, but I said, "Which ever one you feel is more formal" From then on whenever he say me, he shakes my hand. I was okay with it, I guess.
Then all of a sudden, the next day, I don't know what the fuck happened. I was entering class when I saw that one guy again. Right when I saw him, I started breathing faster, and I was feeling nervous. I thought it was 'cause I had a test that same day, but when he came to my direction, my heart beat started to go up. He said "What's up?" to me again, and I just said "I'm cool", but inside I felt really weird.
Then some college testing started and he was there. I saw him sitting by himself, so I asked if I could sit down and he said it was cool. During the test (which was 5 hours long) I saw him struggling. I felt bad that he was working himself up, so I felt like I had to help him, and I did. I wrote down notes on a sheet of paper, and passed it to him secretly. He was actually grateful for those, and he ended up finishing before I did. I didn't really care though, but the fact that I helped him made me feel like i did the right thing, on my part.
I kept getting that fucking weird feeling every time I had any type of contact with him. I had no I dea what the hell was going on, so I tried to go along with it. But getting all nervous and having my heart beat faster every time I saw him started to get fucking irritating. So one day I asked him if I could talk to him. He agreed and we went to go talk by the side of some building during lunch. Earlier, though, he kept asking me what I wanted to talk to him about, but I kept telling him not to worry about it. I extended the wait for too long and by the time it was lunch the following day (Me talking to him by the wall happened the next day) he immediately wanted to know what the hell was going on. I was about to start talking, then I thought about it. How fucking weird is it to have a guy talk to a guy, telling him how he feels when he's around him?
Right when I was about to start talking when he blurted out "Just say it" in a mad/worried tone. I just told him "This is kinda hard to talk about", but he answered back with the same tone "Just say it" By then I completely lost the heart to tell him anything. I fucking felt like socking him in the face, even if it was against my ethics, but then I felt really bad. I don't know if it was his ignorance or my stupidity. So I had to change the subject, because it was already too late cancel it. I asked him that if we were actually friends, since he only shook hands with me, it made me feel like I had authority. He said in a colled voice "Yeah we are, dude, you didn't even have to ask that" I felt fucking stupid for asking that, but I already worried him enough, so I had to cover it. We closed the conversation and he just said "Alright, cool," he shook my hand and said, "Later." I felt fucking stupid.
Afterwards he still kept shaking my hand, and I was cool with it, but I still felt nervous around him. It was different than when I felt nervous when talking to the girl I liked. Now that guy looks at me and I feel like he's trying to ignore me. on Friday we passed eachother in the hallways but he ignored me. I saw him and he saw me, but he acted as if I wasn't there. I felt worried that he probably thinks of that whole situation the wrong way.
He has spiky hair, is pretty thin and his height was a few inches lower than mine. He's in the football team, but isn't the type of stereotypical football guy you would think of. He's cool actually.
In reality, though, I don't know what the hell I'm feeling. I'm straight, and I don't feel sexually or physically attracted to him. Honestly, thinking about making out with him is just sick (sorry if that offends anyone). But I still feel nervous around him, and I'm trying to keep cool, but it feels fucking impossible. I feel like I have to see him, or shake hands with him. Everytime I think of him I get that feeling again...and when I forget how he looks like that feeling fades away. It's been fucking with me, and I can't stand it. It's been depressing me, and hurting me inside. I try to maintain my cool, but it just keeps coming back.
To summarize everything...I like this one girl and I get nervous around her. I met some guy and all of a sudden I get nervous around him--when I talk or shake hands with him. But the type of nervousness is different, completely different than what I feel around girls I like.
Am I starting to have an attraction towards him? Is it normal? Does it have anything to do with a mental attraction?
I have nothing against homosexuals (used as a scientific term, not an offensive term). They're people too, there's no real difference. But I just feel insecure about this situation I'm in. I really don't know what to do.