a bruhaha with a friend & girlfriend

[Gumleaf]

hmmm, this is a long story so please bear with me. up until january this year, it would be normal for my good friend tiffany, my girlfriend joanne and me to hang out together and do stuff together. we all got along great and everything was sweet. that was until one day at the end of january when tiff said over the phone that she loves me. i wasn't sure if it was a good idea to do this and i'm still not convinced now that i did the right thing, but i told jo about what tiff said and from that moment on, everything changed. i've had 2 really good friends i trust say that i did the right thing telling jo and another one say that it was a stupid thing to do. the bottom line is, that jo thinks that tiff is out to steal me from her, which will never happen i might add.

anyways, over the last few months its been rather awkward when we have hung out together and stuff. but twice now, just when things between jo and tiffy have been improving, tiff does or says something stupid to make things worse. i really thought this time things would get better and they had been until friday. so anyways, on friday tiffy called me and was upset and stuff. she asked how i was and i told her i was depressed and stuff. she then basically hung up on me and was upset still. so i sent her a text telling her that i'm there for her, etc. then she replies with something along the lines of "leave me alone and go back to your bitch (joanne)".

thats when i possibly made my second mistake, but i have been told again by a trusted friend that i did the right thing, but i told joanne what she said in the text mesg and it really upset joanne and me. anyways, that was friday. today i had church this morning and after originally deciding not to go because i didn't want to see tiffany there, i was talked into it and something bizzare happened. when i got there she acted like nothing had happened, she was friendly, hugged me and even invited jo and me over to her place if our parents were ok with it. it was like friday didn't happen and i was left bewildered.

anyways, i told joanne about church this morn and when jo came with me tonight things got more interesting afterwards when joanne approached tiffy and brought up this whole bruhaha again. so they had a verbal and now neither of them are talking to eachother and we are back to square one again. i don't know how to make things better, its all such a mess. i need both these girls in my life and i'm obviously not going to leave joanne, so idk what to do now, because i don't want to lose tiffany either. this whole bruhaha has turned into a huge mess.

[IAMWILL]

Ugh, sticky mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well Stephen, this is a test for me!

I think the first thing you need to address here is that people change suddenly and substantially, sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for bad reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all. This one is well.... though to decipher.

Everyone gets upset when they don't get what they want, no matter how you put that or take it, its a fact. Tiffany got upset because you obviously had a wonderful relationship with Joanne and everything was working out. Therefore, Tiffany got jealous because everyone wants someone to be with, someone to hold, someone to love, its absolutely genetic, and nothing can be done about it.

I don't think you did to much wrong here, but you should've sat them down and talked to both of them not only about what happened and all that, but how YOU feel. They both care for you, deeply, and when you're in love, almost nothing matters more than your loved ones opinion or take on something. They want to here from you, and they will listen to, you have some control in this.

Its good that you told Joanne about this, because I'm sure shes hurt by this too, so she should know whats happened. Things just got a little out of hand, and things got bad, but it will get better, it has to. God this one is hard.

I think you need to step in here and express how you feel about this situation. You obviously don't want to lose these people, they are amazing friends, and they need to know that, because they should be mature enough to forgive one another for what has happened and move on. You matter in this too, remember that.

Hope I helped you out Stephen, its hard advising the best!