What now?

[Indy]

Well I've been rejected four times in the past few years and now I've decided to not chase after any girls or find a girlfriend. I don't want to go through that crush stress again. But what do I do now? I really need a girlfriend! My friend Todd has one and every time I see them cuddle and kiss I get so jealous and be thinking, "Why not me?" or "I want that kind of relationship with a girl, why can't I achieve that!?"

So if I don't want to "go and find a girlfriend" then what do I do now? Sit and wait while these thoughts eat away at me?

[Blue63]

I know, it eats you up inside, I'm 14 and never had a girlfriend. So I see your pain, it's hard to sit and watch people be incredibly happy and have what you desire most. My advice to you:

It seems to be that in your situation, you need to take a break from seeking. You just have to open your heart and let love find it's way in. It'll happen, just wait. Don't worry abut the mechanics of a crush or finding a girl friend fast. It'll come, and you'll know when it does. The thoughts, well those I can't even stop myself from having, I know the feelings of loneliness and despair, pour that emotion in to a hobby, and try and be as social as possible. You can't control love, but you can open the door so when it gets there, it can walk right in.

[Nihilus]

I know, it eats you up inside, I'm 14 and never had a girlfriend. So I see your pain, it's hard to sit and watch people be incredibly happy and have what you desire most. My advice to you:

It seems to be that in your situation, you need to take a break from seeking. You just have to open your heart and let love find it's way in. It'll happen, just wait. Don't worry abut the mechanics of a crush or finding a girl friend fast. It'll come, and you'll know when it does. The thoughts, well those I can't even stop myself from having, I know the feelings of loneliness and despair, pour that emotion in to a hobby, and try and be as social as possible. You can't control love, but you can open the door so when it gets there, it can walk right in.

Great post:D. Be out there and be social.

[Indy]

Sweet, that made my day this morning!

[Blue63]

Sweet, that made my day this morning!

Glad to help, I wish you the best of luck :D

[bri-]

well, from a girl's point of view, you should try making some girl friends. or you could ask Todd if his girlfriend has any single friends. thats a good place to start. but, i myself also have issues with not being able to find a boyfriend. so, i don't know how good my advice is

[Indy]

lol it's alright, thanks for the imput.

[Sphynx]

Dude!

You sound a little intense; "Need a girlfriend"? You may be putting girls off with that. To be open to new relationships you have to NOT seem desparate. If girls think you are intense around an old girlfriend (or crush) then they might not want to give you a chance thinking you might be that way with them if (when) they break up with you. Of course it hurts and the emotions can be very intense but the more you let it go and move on the more you will be ready for a new relationship.

To find a new girlfriend you have to be emotionally available; not hung up on an old flame; not too needy; and open to listening and "being there" for her. Ask yourself this, "would I want to date me?" If the answer is no dont get down on yourself just ask yourself what you want in a relationship and try to be that for someone else.

I found that I did not listen very well and was more focused on what I wanted to say instead hearing and learning about others. I actually started taking notes (not in front of her! lol ) after I had a good conversation with a girl I liked so I could remember things like names of peopel she spoke about, things she liked etc. I asked more questions and listned rather than Talking about myself. (how often do your sentences start with "I". Try startin gmore with "you" instead.) By remembering things about her the more you gain trust and girls can see that you care about them and it is not just about your needs. Try to stay friends with a girlfriend that broke up with you and not be weird around them afterwards. Dont keep talking to them about your past relationship and your leftover emotions (hard sometimes I know).

If you really want a girlfriend stop trying to get one and start trying to be the kind of person others want to be around.

Sorry so long and I hope I did not piss you off.

[sebbie]

Well I've been rejected four times in the past few years and now I've decided to not chase after any girls or find a girlfriend. I don't want to go through that crush stress again. But what do I do now? I really need a girlfriend! My friend Todd has one and every time I see them cuddle and kiss I get so jealous and be thinking, "Why not me?" or "I want that kind of relationship with a girl, why can't I achieve that!?"

So if I don't want to "go and find a girlfriend" then what do I do now? Sit and wait while these thoughts eat away at me?

You will need to get over the fear of rejection, it is just one of them things that happens in the dating game. Try not to let it get you so down, I know this seems easier said than done.

As with meeting girls try joining new clubs, sports,drama,music whatever floats your boat. You will meet new people both boys and girls and you will have something in common that your both into the same things etc. This is a great way for socialising not just meeting girls.

Try to be more confident and self assured with yourself, confidence goes a long way and is an attractive trait. However make sure your not arrogant there is a fine line between the two.