Father

[Maverick]

A couple years ago I had found out that my dad may not be my blood father and my presumed to be uncle (my dad's brother) is my blood father. It hasn't been verified in any way but its based off what my mom has said. It was even mentioned when my parents were arguing right in front of me and my dad never really attempted to deny or clarify anything.

It was recently brought up again when my mom was in one of her moods (shes schizophrenic). All the time growing up people say I act and look like my uncle. So this has me wondering if I should ever want to find out the truth or just leave it alone.

Its not necessarily bothering me but at the same time I'm the type of person that likes to know things. But pressing this might cause more harm and hurt other people. But if it were true it would mean I have a brother.

Would the smart thing to do is to just simply forget about it? Has anyone been in this kind of situation before?

[Gumleaf]

hmmm, thats a tough one. but with all things considered, if it really isn't bothering you so much, then i would leave that can of worms shut right now. by doing something about it, like you have made reference to already, you would possibly cause some hurt within your family and if you decide to find out for sure, i don't think i need to tell you of the posible consequences of doing that. if it turned out positive that your uncle is your father, then that could cause a lot of hurt to the dude who you have been brought up to believe is your father. and as for the possiblity of having a brother, brother is just a title, its the relationship you have with him that counts, so don't let that sway you. i have a cousin who i click with fantastically and other relatives jokingly ask whether we have the same parents or not and whatever, but it has nothing to do with that, its the relationship we have. in my honest opinion unless you really want to find out, i would leave this can of worms closed right now, because if they are opened, its opened for ever and can't be taken back.

[Blue63]

You know I'm like you, I need the truth, I often think I'm adopted (Not just I don't fit in, it would make A LOT of sense in my circumstance, but I have been told repeatedly I'm not) So if I were you I would calmly talk to your dad about it, calmly talk to your uncle about it, and maybe after that talk to them together. If I had a half brother I'd want to know, that's a bond that is hard to shake. So yeah, pick a good time to do it, and maybe just investigate a little bit, maybe inspect your birth certificate or talk to other trustworthy family members.

[Hyper]

If the father You've had all your life has been good to you and your happy to call him dad - I'd suggest leaving it alone knowing something doesn't really give you much, quite often it rathers gives you pain rather than understanding or peace of mind.

OFC its all irrelevant if you feel like you must know then don't trouble yourself and just get on with it & find out.

[Specter]

That’s very interesting, I must say its unusual though. Personally I would find out the truth. Just to clear up any confusion you might have, the man that raised you from day one regardless if he’s your biological father or not is truly your real Dad and that’s all that really matters.

The only reason I’d want to find out who my “Biological father” was is simply for health/ medical reasons. To see if cancer runs in my family, stuff like that. Would I build a relationship with him? Most likely not, because he’s not truly my father, why add any confusion. ;)

-Specter

[Jman35]

You could find out, but in my opinion, your father is not the sperm donor, but the man who raised you.

[pontiacdriver]

This is truly an impossible situation, and I do not think there is any right or wrong answer here. I think that your parents have needs, but you also have needs, too. You have a right to know who your parents are especially if there was ever a medical issue for you in the future resulting in your needing to know your parents' medical history. However, if a paternity test would result in your family being torn apart, then knowing the truth would only open a Pandora's box. My thinking is that you have to look at your family's overall stability and your Father's (meaning the man who you think is your Father) feelings about the situation. Also, you need to think about if things would change if your Father suddenly was no longer your biological Father. My view is that you should figure out the truth as long as all parties can remain rational, cool, and level-headed. If any of the parties concerned would freak out with the results, then don't go through with the test. The reality is that you still will have a connection with your cousin one way or another, and you are still connected with your uncle no matter what. Unlike a scenerio where you might be related to total strangers in this case you are related to your parents in one way or another.

Good luck with your situation, and I sincerely hope that things work out. More than anything everyone in your family circle needs reassurance, and if things turn out to be different in terms of your parentage, then you still have to emphasis that nothing will change.

[Truth]

You cant handle the truth! /sarcasm.

Honestly, if your wondering find out, if your not then who cares and forget about it.