advice please!

[xXxlauraxXx]

ok well my friends she always comes in with bruises over her arms and legs
recently she told me her dad abuses her,
what really makes sense, ive been at her house a couple of times her dad would just seem "controlling", id never thought anything of it.
he calls her fat ugly stupid, hes tells her shes never going to go anywhere in life, really puts her down. he gets really violent at her, and he makes her run around after him and things like that.
hes never hit her while im there, but recently a neighbour phoned the social and they talked to the school to talk to her. but she told him they just were arguing and nothing.
im dont know what to do i really want to help her but i dont know how to or anything:-(
thankyou soo much for any help x

[byee]

Hi Laura,

you're a good friend here, wanting to help out. The goal when you hear about someone being abused to protect them, and the best way is to tell the adults/authorities who can intervene.

Since this has already been done, what you might want to do is ask your friend how you can help her, what is it that she needs from you, and listen to what she says. Mostly, it's just support, 'being there', which might not seem like a lot to you, but to someone who has been voctimized and left feeling vulnerable, it's quite a lot.

[TigerLily]

Hi Laura,

you're a good friend here, wanting to help out. The goal when you hear about someone being abused to protect them, and the best way is to tell the adults/authorities who can intervene.

Since this has already been done, what you might want to do is ask your friend how you can help her, what is it that she needs from you, and listen to what she says. Mostly, it's just support, 'being there', which might not seem like a lot to you, but to someone who has been voctimized and left feeling vulnerable, it's quite a lot.

Couldn't agree more.
Speaking as someone who's been abused myself (though not quite in the same way as your friend), all I can say you should do is be there for her. I know she will appreciate it, even if you yourself don't feel like you're doing all that much. Just let her know that she can always confide in you about what she's been through, although don't be offended if she decides not to, because in many cases (example:me) talking about it is just something that one may wish to avoid, even if this isn't always the smartest choice. If the abuse suffered has given her esteem issues don't be hesitant to tell her how amazing she is to you, and how important your friendship is to you. Let her know how much she means to you, and that she has your full support whatever happens. That would be the best thing you could do for her :)

[BuryYourFlame]

agreed with Sam and Rachel, you need to make sure that they people who can intervene know about what is going on, because this needs to stop asap.

you need to try and get your friend to tell the authorities the whole story, nothing will change if she keeps trying to avoid them.

[ErykaInspire.]

Being an abuse victim myself, by several men, I can somewhat relate to your friend.
I suggest you talk to the principal, have your school talk to your friend until she's ready to talk to a social worker.
You can't sit there and let that happen, it has to stop NOW.
Talk to her, let her know that you care about her and that you're going to take it to the office.
If she goes into custody, there's a very good possibility that she'll move away. Give her your number, address, email, ect. Keep in contact with her as much as possible and let her know that you're always there for her.


You really do have to talk to someone, abuse only gets worse until it's to late.
<333
best of luck, PM me if you ever need to talk, ok? I'm here for you.

[xXxlauraxXx]

thankyou for the help everybody,
shes coming to stay at mines tommorow night so i will try and convince her to get help then, but if not i think i might tell a teacher myself,
is that the right thing to do, even if it hurts her. it will be better for her. right ?

[ErykaInspire.]

Yes, it will help.

[xXxlauraxXx]

thankyou very much x

[ErykaInspire.]

You're quite welcome, hun<3
:hug: