So I have this problem with sex...

[KatetheGreat]

...and being unable to resist it.

I've met a lot of guys throughout the years and really, they're only interested in my body.
I really want a relationship that will last, but none of the guys I like seem to want the same. Either they're focusing on their career choices, or they just got out of relationships and want to play the field for a while, etc.
But they're interested in me. They hint at sex all the time.
We'll start making out and such, but when they press to go farther, I don't stop them.
A part of me wants to because I'm not a slut. Sure, I'm open about sex and don't mind talking about it...yes, I've posed for various pictures that are suggestive...and no, I haven't been shy about sharing them.
But when it comes down to it, I don't stop them because it's something I enjoy participating in even though it almost feels like a job.

Just recently, a guy I know via my sister was asking me about the photos I told him about. As I said, I'm not shy about what I've done.
He wanted to see them, but I learned a long time ago that when I just show the guys those pictures, they get it in their heads that I'm easy. And just look at me for fun and nothing else. When I don't believe that's the case.

I'm not sure if I've explained this well enough. I'm not even sure how exactly to ask for help on the matter. Do I even have a problem here? I dunno.
Advice, opinions, feedback...whatever y'all have got to throw at me, I'll take it.
'Cause I'm at a loss right now.

[IAMWILL]

Oh you're just a horny teenager! (Okay, adult).

Even though you're probably done with puberty, hormones don't calm down for awhile, so you're going to still want to have sex for awhile, a lot. Now, the way you described the situation, it seems as though you have control over this, you just choose not to use that control. As long as you don't "lend" yourself out to people, or have sex with a lot of different people in a short amount of time (by that i mean a month or two) you're fine, you just like having sex!!! (As im sure we all do).

As long as you control yourself, and understand how often you have sex, you're fine!
Take it from a thirteen year old! lol

[Maverick]

Well I think you need to reevaluate the impression you are giving when talking to guys. When you are being open about sex and sharing photos the guys are perceiving you are a type of girl that is just interested in sex. I think you being open is backfiring and you obviously realize that.

What I would do is when talking to guys is don't try to bring sex as a main discussion. If it does come up express how you feel about it and set some boundaries. The important thing is that you need to communicate. If you say nothing and just let it happen then you aren't going to get anywhere. Speak up, make some boundaries, and say what you really want in a relationship.

[Hyper]

Let me just say this

Its only a problem if its bothering You and making You ask yourself annoying little questions.

If You don't like the way it is then think about it and what you want to be different

You shouldn't change how You dress or who You are in general just learn from experience.. I know a couple of very attractive girls who by immature judgement would be called ''sluts, whores, easy'' etc based on how they look & dress and the general impression they put on.. But their very skilled at scaring off any guy looking for an easy catch & most importantly their comfortable being who they are and not caring what other people think.

[KatetheGreat]

I know I've tried talking my way out of it a couple of times, but in the end, I always give in. I'm not sure why.

And I'm totally comfortable with who I am, how I look, how I dress, etc.
I know I could stand to improve in some places, but it's not really an issue. Just something I know. If that makes sense.
I can definitely tell the vulgar guys to go to hell, and they usually leave me alone. Some don't get the hint, but whatever. After ignoring them, they move on.

It's just the guys I like or my guy friends that I have this problem with.

I guess I've just got to be more firm about it? And actually stick to my protests?

One guy I hooked up with told me he just got out of an engagement and didn't want a real relationship for a while. I told him that I was screwed over in the past and that I had a lot of love to give and no one to give it too. That that was what I wanted. But when he said he didn't want the same thing, I let it go. When he came on to me, I just let him because I really liked the guy.

I guess in a way I just wanted some kind of affection from the opposite sex. Reguardless of the fact that it would only last a night or so.


Oh dear...that's horrible, isn't it?
Shit. :(

[pierceman34]

i have similar problems i what affection from girls all the time but you just have to know when to stop

[Hyper]

I know I've tried talking my way out of it a couple of times, but in the end, I always give in. I'm not sure why.

And I'm totally comfortable with who I am, how I look, how I dress, etc.
I know I could stand to improve in some places, but it's not really an issue. Just something I know. If that makes sense.
I can definitely tell the vulgar guys to go to hell, and they usually leave me alone. Some don't get the hint, but whatever. After ignoring them, they move on.

It's just the guys I like or my guy friends that I have this problem with.

I guess I've just got to be more firm about it? And actually stick to my protests?

One guy I hooked up with told me he just got out of an engagement and didn't want a real relationship for a while. I told him that I was screwed over in the past and that I had a lot of love to give and no one to give it too. That that was what I wanted. But when he said he didn't want the same thing, I let it go. When he came on to me, I just let him because I really liked the guy.

I guess in a way I just wanted some kind of affection from the opposite sex. Reguardless of the fact that it would only last a night or so.


Oh dear...that's horrible, isn't it?
Shit. :(

Well yes you should be more firm ( my opinion ).. If you want to have affection, even if it is for a night, thats fine but if its as you said, you can't say no to guys close to you, then you just have to be more concrete..

I'm sure most of this has to do with wanting affection.. So if you get a permanent relationship I'm pretty much certain it would be different.

Getting a relationship with affection is a different story however which may begin to happen at any random given time :rolleyes:

[ScotsGirl]

I guess in a way I just wanted some kind of affection from the opposite sex. Reguardless of the fact that it would only last a night or so.


If that is what you're really wanting then sex with no strings attached isnt the best way to get that.
If its a bit of fun, spontaneity and pleasure you want, then casual sex is a better option.

I think it might be a good idea for you to really think about what it is that you are looking for when you have sex. Do you like the closeness you feel to someone? Or do you like the fun?

If you are having sex, not for the actual sex anymore, then maybe it's time to stop? Even just for a while until you think about what you really want...

xxx

[AllThatIsLeft]

Okay so i know exactly where you are coming from, and you have to tell yourself that it is enough.
I am also a very open person, and i'm not exactly shy about it. But there are boundaries that can't be crossed if you want respect and guys that want you for you, not for your body and/or sex.
It's very easy to give in, but if you are not able to hold your own lines, guys wont do it for you either.

So now you be a strong girl, set your boundaries and stick to them. Guys won't persist if you mean them. And if they walk away, they weren't worth it anyways.
The ones that stay behind and are actually willing to involve themselves emotionally are the ones you should be reserving yourself for.

Believe me i know this. Because i had to prove to myself that i am not the slut everyone thought i was.
Yes, i do do whatever i want, when i want to, with whomever i want to. But if you cant keep your own rules, you might want to re-consider your openness.