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SlightlySane
May 13th, 2009, 10:27 PM
These are some poems that I have written please tell me what you like and what you think.

We can’t let go, or we would be free

I’ve been holding on for so long
It’s near impossible to let go
I’m sure you must know,
What it’s like to hold on

The security is warm and soft
Like nothing will ever touch you again
You are hanging in the air
You know that you can hold on forever
Nothing will interrupt you
No body else’s problems will bring you harm
It feels like a cloud
So refreshing
Rejuvenating
As long as you hold on you are young forever

We learn to hold on young
We stretch out our arms
Reach as far as our fingertips can go
And then we grasp our safety
To naïve to know
That once you go
You are gone
You must hold on

The only way to get free
Is to be afraid
To be afraid you are trapped forever
Only no has ever been freed, never
Because they need a friend to hold their fear
A friend that doesn’t need to hold on

You are my friend
Wanting to let go
You need me to help
And I would
You would be free
Simply free
I watch you try and
Still
I hold on with both hands

You’d be free
But I can’t let go with one hand
------------------------------------------------

What do I say?

What do I say?
What can I tell you?

You hurt me!
you didn't care what I had to say

But now you listen
with out making a noise
you look at my face
never blinking

Now I can say as much as I want
and you will never run away,

What do I say?
---------------------------------------

Death

A blade of untrust has been pulled
lashing at truth's heart
with a shriek of pain truth is gone
and lies join the hunt

The blade of untrust and a cannon of lies
march together to take their next prize

Woosh!
The blade swings
Bang!
The cannon fires
In the next silent moment,
happiness falls to the ground

and off they march again
a gun of sadness as their friend
-------------------------------------

Them

Don't move!
They're watching...
Don't speak!
They're listening

Do you know who they are?
By the time you do you will be one of them.

ErykaInspire.
May 16th, 2009, 05:43 PM
I like them all. The syllable count is off, but that's okay(: They're still very well formatted.

SlightlySane
May 17th, 2009, 09:55 PM
The count is off because it is completely free verse. When I right I don't care if I rhyme or anything. I right what comes to me and how it comes. Putting a lot of thought into making it grammticaly correct feels to me that it takes away the message.

I'm very happy you like them though