Psychologist visit

[Shattered Soul]

As some of you probably know, I've been having a mental breakdown (that's the only way i can describe it) over the past month. This ranges from believing all my friends are out to get me, finding it very difficult to get out of bed, flying completely off the handle when something minor happens ie when i disappeared for 6 hrs when my driving instructor didnt turn up and ended up at my mums works in tears, a self harming relapse, to a very close suicide attempt.
As a result of this, my parents are taking me to see a psychologist and I am absolutely terrified. It means telling someone everything that's happened and my parents finding out all my secrets. They have no idea about me trying to kill myself last year, or my uncle abusing me as a child. I was going to tell my counsellor yesterday and the mere thought of telling her about me uncle reduced me to tears, I cried for about an hr. I'm not a very trusting person due to my past.
I'm really worried that they're going to say i have depression or bipolar because both run very closely in my family. Every one of my cousins have depression and are on pills for it, and my brother does too except they wont give him antidepressants yet. I'm worried because I want to be a psychologist after studying psychology at uni and they wont let someone with either of those conditions be one.
I hate life.

xxCathyxx

[Hyper]

There's no reason to worry about something thats not even certain.

You have something You want to achieve in life, that means You still want to be happy.. So do Your best to get that..

I hate talking about my feelings & past as well and over the years I mastered the art of fooling a professional... But its not a smart thing to do, its a stupid thing to do.

With a suitable, caring, experienced professional things can get better.

Also I believe that if You are 18 the psychologist has absolutely no right to tell Your parents anything and I think you should talk to her about that, that You don't want Your parents to know what you tell her.. Confidentiality is a big part in theraphy and having it is a necessity if anything is to work out.

Anyway as stupid, irritating & annoying as it sounds try to stay calm and try not to worry about it. Just go there and see how it goes. It could help You a lot and hey if it doesn't well thats that, but nobody ever got somewhere without falling down a few times and getting back up.

[byee]

Cathy, I understand your apprehensions here, but I think your expectations are based perhaps more on how scary all the stuff you want (and need) to talk about is, rather than what will likely happen. That happens a lot, it's easy to realize all the issues (and feelings they cause) and project them onto the appointment.

A psychologist is (thankfully) not a dentist. The nature and purpose of the therapy appointment isn't guaranteed to cause pain, and (also quite thankfully) in therapy, it's the patient that has at least shared control, not the doctor (dentist) having all the control. Besides, there's no dreadful musak to have to listen too, or the bad jokes. And certainly no drill to get at the problem.

It takes a while to build up rapport and trust so you can feel comfortable sharing *everything* you need, you're not expected to reveal *everything* on the first visit. And the psychologist knows this. So, look at the first meeting really as the beginning of the process, which starts with you just getting acclimated and familiar with the process of being with someone and sharing.........what you want. Do not feel pressured to share anything you're not ready to, and do feel comfortable saying so!

Like any relationship, it takes time before you're ready to unfold yourself to another person. Talk about those things that you're comfortable with and ready for, and direct your treatment in a way that meets your needs. Do not worry about who S/he will tell, or the potential ramifications for *tomorrow*, you're there to get better, and if your psychologist is a highly trained specialist who can help you achieve that. Once you get familiar with the process (and the person), you'll trust enough to just open up.

For now, take it one step at a time.