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EverlostPoet
May 9th, 2009, 09:01 PM
Blood and Love
By: Callmejake and Origami

I sit and stare
Blankly at the bare ceiling above my head,
Wishing that you would come by and care,
Wishing memories weren't the only things holding me in this bed.

Seeming life never worked for me,
Seeming these dreams never came true,
All you think about is the guy i can't be,
Never considering how desperately I need you.

Do you even notice the inner me?
Do you ever notice the tears and cries?
Do you even see my personality?
Have you ever noticed that pain dwelling in my eyes?

Now I'm gone, but will you even notice?
Maybe the blood on the floor will give you a clue.
Maybe you could have gave me a goodbye kiss?
But instead I kissed the gun that once belonged to you.

As I drop one final tear, in my mirror I see,
Blood painted all across my bedroom floor,
And the gun staring back at me.
Gone as I may be, I'll love you forevermore.



C&C please, plus the last Stanza needs a little revising cause i couldnt think xD but yea here ya go.
Perseus
May 9th, 2009, 09:05 PM
You're pretty creative, I could never come up with something like that. And I can barely write poems. :D
EverlostPoet
May 9th, 2009, 09:07 PM
it wasnt all me, Origami done half the work. but thanx.
Perseus
May 9th, 2009, 09:14 PM
Well, y'all are both creative and you're welcome.
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 07:35 AM
on the last stanza i ran out of ideas. xD
Origami
May 10th, 2009, 07:40 AM
Line by line it was written:
Jake
Me
Jake
Me
and so on.


Odd way to write. lol.
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 07:42 AM
yea, got confusing xD but we got it xD
ErykaInspire.
May 10th, 2009, 08:19 AM
That's really good :D
You guys did well together.
You should make more(:
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 09:18 AM
we could try, but Josh rhymes so much more smoothly then me...at one point during making this poem i wanted Blood to rhyme with Love. xD
ErykaInspire.
May 10th, 2009, 09:49 AM
lmao, yeah I don't think that'd work :p
Josh is more experienced in rhyming than you are, but you'll get used to it(:
It does it easier. It just takes time.
Joshs' writing is pure talent. Yours is pure emotion.
They're both good.. They're more than good. (They're great!. haha, had to :p)
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 09:58 AM
well i dont know about the emotion part... im not very emotional, i think...xD but i just redone 2 sigs, plus i found myvery first siggy i ever made!, http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm255/callmejake/firstsiggy.png
ErykaInspire.
May 10th, 2009, 10:01 AM
lul, very nice.
And I think they're pretty emotional.
They have alot of feeling in them.
Like you said, you write love poems ;D
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 10:21 AM
yea xD look, http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=43790
ErykaInspire.
May 10th, 2009, 10:30 AM
lol, they're good.
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 11:16 AM
Josh, up for another one later?
Origami
May 10th, 2009, 01:43 PM
Yes, Blood - Love didn't rhyme. xD
And Jake, I'll submit a real title for this later seeing as how the title was the theme. xD
And I'll make one with you whenever, I don't care, just get on Yahoo.
EverlostPoet
May 10th, 2009, 07:00 PM
k i will, i will xD