Hello peeps, I suck at chicks.

[Jean Poutine]

Yeah I suck. I mean I suck so much and its so apparent my English teacher gave me tips.

I have a lot of trouble with social norms. I mean I could go to a girl and ask her out. I'm not a pussy. I have a refined vocabulary. I'm a good speaker. But exactly when do you ask out a chick?

And don't you tell me "you'll know it". No I won't. Autism makes it quite impossible to know how things are done in society. I've had this idea that I think one should be friends first but everything I see counters that fucking idea so I'm obviously wrong. So when? Do you go to the bookstore or whatever and go see the clerk "LOL LET'S GO OUT K"? Or something? Nothing? Squirrel?

Oh yeah BTW I'm autistic. If you watch Boston Legal, you know this Jerry lawyer dude with weird tics that has Asperger's Syndrome. Yeah, I'm socially awkward like that (well minus the vocal tics part) except I don't have a fucking wooden cigarette.

Brings me to next problem. Girls find me like, cold, weird, awkward, maybe a bit of an asshole, but certainly someone undateable. That's not exactly true (well maybe the asshole part). I'm a sensible, romantic, caring person deep within and being raised by two women means that I'm also quite the gentleman. When I want to.

And hey, I'd want to if people gave me a chance. Girls see the autistic and run away in terror. It's not my fault. Really it isn't. How exactly do I make it less of a factor? Do I go like sexual deviants with Megan's law and say "hi, I know you think I'm weird, it's 'cause I have autism k"?

Come on, last time I physically spoke to a girl more than five minutes I was 4 and that was to tell her to stop whining and trying to rat me out to the kindergarten teacher for not playing with her.

I feel like I'll be the focus of a Judd Apatow movie soon. And that motivates me to change it. Not the virginity I mean, I don't give a shit. But you know, I'm awfully bored, college is too easy, WoW can get old and my Wii doesn't fucking work for some arcane reason. What if I had a girl to go out with on evenings instead? Like go watch a movie or something silly like that. I'm only in for the cuddling, the caring and maybe the kissing.

Dispense all advice you may deem necessary. You know I'm autistic, that confidence isn't a problem and that social norms screw me up. Oh also I'm pretty good lookin'. So my mom says.

I mean, I'd like to bring a girl with me this summer to hear Placido Domingo. Yeah, opera, fuck you. Opera is great. Awesome. I don't wanna be there alone though.

I'm trying to change, help me please.

[lesher]

I believe you have some girl friends, right? (not really girlfriend, but girl friend)
Maybe you should try asking someone you know and not scared at you (especially on the part when you can be a gentleman when needed)

[Gahg]

hi :D nice to meet you :P lol just to let you in on a secret theres no right time to ask a girl out :P like i mean if you know there is something going on in her life wait a bit till its resovled (and what i mean by someting going on i mean like a family member dying umm...someting around that area) ,but anyways onto more exciting stuff :D

You do got it right when you should be friends at first you dont have to be close friends just invite her to come hang with you after school or something like that walk up to her and be all calm and just say "hey *insert name here* me and a couple of buddies were going to hang out after school i was wondering if you would like to come with us?" then after you have gotten to know her and shes gotten to know you go in and ask her out like we could use your opera (btw FUCKING LOVE IT :D) and ask her if she would like to join you (but that might be really far away so use something else) like when your getting to know her talk about movies or something find out what she like with movies and then wait till a movie you know she will probly like (you could always ask her firends if there is any movies she would like to see) and then once you find that out go up to her and ask "hey i was suppose to go see this move called *insert movie name* and my buddie wasnt able to make it and i would love someone there with me so i was wondering if you would like to come see the movie with me" and if she sais yes that means that theres is some intress in you and if she sais no DONT GIVE UP HOPE. because she could still like you just want to get to know you more

oh small side note: dont give away too much about your self keep some mystery to yourself to make her try and find out this will keep her interested in learning more about you.

back to what i was saying. if she rejects you just say "ahh thats okay ill just go out and hang around town" but if she says yes dont jump with glee and get all excited just say "ahh thanks alot for coming i guess we will meet up at *insert time and day here*" if everthing goes well at the movies then just start to get closer to her get a little intimate (like hugging maby giving her a piggy back or something like that" after you feel comterable with her then start to drop hints that you like her

small senerio

your walking around with her she sees somebody and sais "wow i wish i was a preatty as she was" then just say back something like "why would you want to look like her you beautiful as you are"


something like that.. then after you giving a few hints and if she starts to give them back its a bonus because it lets you know she is really interested after that move in a just say something like "hey iv been thinking i really like our friendship..but i think im starting to want to be more then just friends im really starting to like you" then just sit back and hope for the best :D

some tips: 1: Dont always be there like maby hang out with her like 2-3 nights a week if you hang out with her alot then you are at chance of being friend zoned :P
2:dont be afriad to flirt with other girls or make comment like if you see a girl say something like "wow she likes preatty" but dont do it alot just eveyonce in awhile you want to make her somewhat jelous but not massivly to the point where she thinks that you dont have feelings
3: when giving hugs dont do a whimpy hugg do a full hug arms rate around her have your ching resting on the back of her neck and hold her tight but not to tight you dont want to kill her :O

i really hope this helps you :P good luck

[Jean Poutine]

I believe you have some girl friends, right? (not really girlfriend, but girl friend)
Maybe you should try asking someone you know and not scared at you (especially on the part when you can be a gentleman when needed)
No. No, I don't.

Wait. That's not true. I have two and I will now tell you why it is impossible for me to ask them out :

1) one of them is engaged
2) the other is 13 and is also the sister-in-law of my best friend. We just play Left 4 Dead all together

So yeah. Oops.

@Gahg

Thanks for the wall of text. Believe it or not I read it all. That was helpful for the part where I have to, you know, court and stuff. For the part before though about how to not come off as a cold loser then perhaps I need to try by myself.

How exactly do you make new acquaintances? One big problem I have is that I project how I would react unto everyone. This is actually a characteristic of autism - you think everyone acts and thinks like you do.

People have told me to just go randomly talk to people in order to make friends. I know that if someone did that to me, what he's currently standing on would be full of brains from one of my trademark "body crash inc" o-soto-gari (yeah, Judo). I hate being spoken to when I have not invited the person to do so. Hence I'm a little scared to be forward myself.

[Gahg]

well then you dont need to actually just go up and talk to someone derivtly on just sort of make your self known as in if you see someone you might like then maby say something to your friends that might spark and intress in the person (so say you know i girl really likes a band or singer and you know of this singer and you see her walk by just say somethihng to your friends like hey have you herd *insert band or singer name here* new song? but say it loud so they will hear it (but not too loud so it dosnt seem like your trying to get their attation)

and iv never really met anyone with autism before so sorry if im not the greatest help but im trying :)

[Bluearmy]

What frightents me is our simularities. Welcome to my world. Or am I in yours?

There is only one girl that I can have a conversation with, all the others... forget it.

And I actually like the Opera-classical music type.