Depressing

[Shattered Soul]

ok. In summary. I'm a horrible, unlovable person who deserves to die. I honestly can't take it anymore. I'm pretty sure my parents hate me, my cousin isn't talking to me. I have absolutely no relationship with my brother. My friends are beginning to resent me and my teachers have given up on me. Everyone abandons me in the end. Even college counselors. I genuinely hate myself. I just totally give up with life, and love. I can't remove the scissors from under my pillow because I find them a comfort, and I'm worried that I'll use them tonight.

Cathy

[Donkey]

You, Cathy, are not horrible and you deserve to live! By your posts I've seen, I can tell you're a helpful, kind person. Ignore the baddies in life and focus on the goodies. Your parents don't hate you. They love you more than anything but sometimes it's hard for us to show that, right? Your cousin can talk to himself for eternity. If he wants to ignore you, let him. He'll eventually get bored. Why not build a relationship with your brother? I'm sure he'd only be too happy to do so :) You should build a stronger relationship with your friends too. You have to focus on your social life as you do with school work etc. and not get too worried about all this depression, and then it will slowly go away.

You are special, remember that. And if you want to, you can turn your life that you dislike around. Don't give up. This could be the beginning of a new life for you if you choose for it to be :D

About the self harming, this is easy to get into and hard to get out of. But it is really important that you do. Think to yourself how you don't want to do it, and how you'll regret it and try as hard as you can to resist. Distract yourself. Keep a rubber band on your wrist and ping it when you get an urge to self harm.

Just remember you're not alone. I, and everyone else is here for you.

PM me if you ever need to talk. :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I am here for you sweetie! I care about you. I feel like me and you are kind of in the same spots...I don't have real good relationships right now with anybody. My friends have not taken the cutting news very well...and now many of them won't talk to me...Please don't cut...it only makes things worse...I know you don't want to do it.

[Shattered Soul]

Thanks, guys, that cheered me up a little :)
I can't have a relationship with my brother because he has a disability where one of the symptoms is that he can't form relationships with anyone - so it's pretty one sided:( I'm trying with my friends 2 of them don't want to know, mainly because I wont let them in. The one i've told EVERYTHING to was going to talk to his tutor about me and try and get them to give me help, normally i'd be very annoyed at him for doing that but I can see it was in my best interests. My parents are making me see a psychologist because they think I might have problems like the rest of my family - every one of my cousins and my brother suffers from depression. The cousin I was on about tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. Which I understand he may not want to talk afterwards, but having tried that myself i'm the only who who could even possibly understand...not that anyone in my family knows that... It's not good.

[Donkey]

I know this is very hard for you at the moment but let's stick together ey?

If no one else is there for you, we're always here if you want to talk. And that's wrong anyway, you have a friend that obviously cares because he went to see the tutor to get help for you. See? You're not alone. People do care about you, and you are wanted.

Wub jooooo :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

You are wonderful sweetie! I'm glad that your getting help! I understand the relationship thing...that is hard...and I know how it is to have friends completely just turn from you. Your never alone sweetie, God is with you always, even when you can't feel Him, He's there

[Shattered Soul]

Heya, I did something extremely stupid today. Having had a major argument with a load of people at college, I went and bought a pack of pills at the local shop with intention to...yeah. Except I was too distracted when I got back to college and did nothing. Then it hit me what I intended on doing and it really scared me, I got home and told my friend straight away and he helped me realise I should throw them away. He's the one person I told about my attempt last year. Jeez, i'm so so stupid. Somehow managed not to self harm throughout this today. The rubber band thingy works :D
love you guys.
xx

[Donkey]

So glad I could help you Cathy! :D

This will hopefully be the end of that :)

[Specter]

Shattered Soul,

You haven’t given up hope, because if you did then you wouldn’t have posted here. Somewhere deep down inside of you, you believe there’s hope. Sometimes life will roll right over you.

The best thing to do is get back on your two feet and get ready for what the world has to throw at you. Because the more crap you are forced to deal with the angrier you get, but my question is, who wants to be around a person that’s miserable all the time? No one! So from now on try and be loveable and open up to people.

Yes you might get heart along the way, but its better to have loved then, never love before. I’m not going to lye times are tuff but it’ll slowly get easier. You’ll also find that what your going through now will only make you a stronger person.

Good Luck! :)

[HOLEinyoursoul]

Trust me, you don't want to do this. I watched someone stab themself and die and i could not do anything. As soon as you start to fade, you remember how good life is. Do not look at this as an encouragement to kill yourself. Realizing how great life is when you're about to die is no way to leave. Try to bring it out of yourself. Life is great.

[GiZzLe]

People struggle A LOT. I used to be a cutter, but i realized that if I God brought me into this world, that he has something in plan for me. I had been a cutter since i was 10 now im 6 months away from being 16. I have been free of cutting myself for 5 months. Its hard sometimes but itz worth it. I hope you start feeling better.

[Shattered Soul]

Heya, thanks for your support guys :) I'm going to my doctor soon to get them to refer me to a psychologist. I should get special consideration in my upcoming exams too, if I get a letter from my psychologist, I told my psychology teacher some things but not all and she told me to do that. :D

[Donkey]

Great to see you're getting yourself better, Cathy! I'm really impressed :D

[Char_x]

Heya, thanks for your support guys :) I'm going to my doctor soon to get them to refer me to a psychologist. I should get special consideration in my upcoming exams too, if I get a letter from my psychologist, I told my psychology teacher some things but not all and she told me to do that. :D
Aaw, glad to hear things are improving :). See people do care, i care, everyone else on here cares and obviously your psychology teacher cares otherwise she wouldnt be giving you advise. Your doing well anyway and sounds like the rubber band thing is working for you so stay strong and you will get thru it :) x

[Soccerbrother121]

ok heres what I have to say, not one single person on the face of this Earth deserves to die, and it's taken me a very long to relize that, because I have had many many of the same thoughts. You are here for a certain reason, everyone is. You may not think so now, but keep going. No offence, but who cares what life is like with your family. When the time comes, do whatever it takes to move out and be on your own, but try not to get into any trouble. If you wanna talk im here =) I am a great person to talk to.