I Gave In

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Guys...I gave in this morning. I cut my ankle this morning...

[Miss Punk]

Hun, please stay strong. You've done so well this far, it's not too late for you to leave it at that one cut. Don't let it get any worse, you'll be creating all sorts of problems for yourself as well as the ones you are already going through, and it just makes it even harder. You don't want to end up like me, haha. Please take care x

[Donkey]

Aww...

:( This happens to everyone when their trying. You just have to stand back up, take a step back and think to yourself about how you're going to try to stop it. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it. You're not back so square one, you've come closer. You've shown yourself that you can go for longer than you thought. And next time, I'm sure you'll go for even longer if not forever :)

All the best.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....

[Miss Punk]

Good, I am glad you are saying that, maybe this is what you needed to help you resist. I know you can do it. I hope you're okay xx

[Sapphire]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....
That is very encouraging to hear!
There is an announcement at the top of this forum with a hundred or so suggestions of things to try when you feel like SI'ing. Have a look at it because there is bound to be something on there that will help, even if it is just a little.

[Donkey]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....

Nice one babe. Keep thinking like that and I'm 100% sure you'll get over this :D

[theOperaGhost]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....

I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you last night. I was on MSN, but I fell asleep.

[Triceratops]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....

I'm very glad to hear that.
Remember hun, on your way to recovery you will make mistakes. Just take a deep breath, and start over. They say tomorrow is a whole new day, and it's true.

Good luck :) <3

[cool person]

I am NEVER doing this again...I'm NOT....

That is the spirit :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

miss Punk-I do think that is what I needed in order to resist. I think that will be enough to keep me from ever doing it again and I am okay...It's hard to resist...but I'm okay and I'm going to make it through this.
Sapphire-Thanks I'll check the list out, I'm sure there is something on there that could help me.
Donkey- 100% sure huh? Sometimes I am not so sure...
Jared- It's okay...Other people were there...This morning I just couldn't take it anymore..I just had a slip up...not your fault :)
Marshki Maggotpop-yeah as long as I learn from my mistakes things are good.
Rami-Once I felt the pain, I knew it wasn't good, it wasn't right, so how can I not have a spirit against it now? I am Not going to do this again...and I MEAN it!

[Donkey]

Donkey- 100% sure huh? Sometimes I am not so sure...

Be sure! With confidence you will do well like I have with you, you can't go wrong hun.

You're doing excellently.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I'm doing excellent on ruining my life....

[Miss Punk]

I'm doing excellent on ruining my life....

Why do you say that? What's up?

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I told my best friend today that I cut yesterday morning...and she started crying and then she didn't talk to me for the rest of the day...I'm losing all my friends lately, all my relationships suck right now...and my parents are fighting again....

[Miss Punk]

Oh that sucks, I'm sorry to hear that your friend won't talk to you. I'm sure it's because she was just a little shocked and didn't like the thought of you hurting yourself, and she possibly just needs a while to think about it? Hang in there, must be hard with your parents as well. Don't feel like any of this is your fault, it's not!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

That's part of my problem...I blame myself for what goes wrong. When my aunt, uncle and cousin died, I blamed myself for their deaths...Because in my mind I was like "Did I not pray hard enough? Did I not have enough faith?" and with my parents fighting lately I feel like it's my fault because I know that I am adding stress to them right now because they know that something is wrong with me.

[Miss Punk]

I'm sorry to hear that. You don't have to blame yourself for anything, you can't do anything about any of these things, and often it's easy to throw the blame upon people even if we end up blaming oursevles, but things happen that we can't help and the best thing to do is accept them and build ourselves back up. Don't give up praying, sometimes prayers feel useless but they can make so much difference.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I have a problem accepting things too....that's something I struggle with in all aspects of things. I'm thinking about giving in again....

[Miss Punk]

Don't give in again! I know you're stronger than that. Don't let yourself get even more hurt. You are worth so much, I feel like a hypocrite now, but you've got to believe it.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I know I can fight this...but it's hard not to and it would be so easy to give in. I'm stronger than this though...I can do this...Cutting doesn't solve anything...Cutting doesn't solve anything....Cutting doesn't solve anything..it won't make you feel better.

[Miss Punk]

Yeah I know you can do it. Remember how you felt, you said you wouldn't do it again, right. Give yourself a feeling of accomplishment every time you don't cut!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

The first couple days are the hardest...I haven't even gone a day yet without cutting...
I am not going to do this again. I can't do this to myself again....I can't..

[Miss Punk]

I believe in you!
I'm sorry but I have to go offline now, but if you ever want to talk anymore, you can always PM me and I'll try and help you as much as I can. Don't give up! All the best xx

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

okay, Thanks for talking

[TigerLily]

Heidi, just to send my best wishes and every encouragement for your not cutting.. I'm sure you can do this, as hard as it is, and everyone here at vt is rooting for you :)
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk
Rachel :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I am stronger than I think...I can do this....I don't need to give into this...it won't solve anything...and it will just make me feel worse...

[Specter]

Ok from now on, no more cutting, Promus me you wont!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

ok....no more cutting. I promise.

[1_21Guns]

Dont let yourself give in again, you have no idea what you'll let yourself in for. Yeah it might feel like it now, but it really does nothing for anything. You need to stay strong, if not for your own sake, but for the people around you. If you ever need to talk, feel free to add me on MSN.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I'm trying so hard not to give in again...because I know that if I give in again..that this isn't going to stop...to be honest right now I really feel like doing it...and the only thing that is stopping me is how much I would hurt my friends and youth group leaders if I did it. I can't hurt them again....yet it is so hard to fight the urge

[Miss Punk]

Hey, are you okay? Do you still want to do it? Hope you're ok, take care, please don't! x

[bri-]

look, i don't know you and you don't know me. but DO NOT give in again. trying snapping a rubber band against your wrist when you feel like cutting it helps, trust me.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I'm okay guys... I haven't given in...and now my parents found out...I'm frustrated....but I am not giving in...ever again. Now I am just scared...because I don't know what my parents are going to do yet. But I guess all I can do is hope for the best.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I have had thoughts about cutting but I haven't cut since that one time and it has been over a month...I think I am starting to beat this...I sure hope so. My relationships are starting to improve and I think that is part of the reason why I don't feel the need to cut so much anymore.