Help, desperate

[Miss Punk]

I don't know what to do, I feel so overwhelmed and everything hurts so much, I'm cutting right now, I'm in so much pain and I want to hurt myself so badly, I really need help right now and I have no one I can turn to. I need to cut more, like really hurt myself. What do I do.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Don't do it....I know you are stronger than this! I'm here for you if you want to talk...it might help keep you mind off things...it helped me not do it last night...please just put down the scissors or whatever you are using to cut...

[Miss Punk]

I've already made such a mess of my arm, this is almost my worst time yet. I don't know if I can stop now that I've started. I need it more, I can't think at all right now, I'm kind of just blindly cutting away...

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

No stop it...stop right now...put it down...you can do this sweetie...I believe in you! you may have messed up your arm pretty good by now but it could get much much worse if you continue to do this...please STOP!!! Let's talk about this okay...

[Miss Punk]

I want to stop I'm feeling physically quite sick right now, please keep talking to me, I really appreciate you trying to help

[Triceratops]

Hun, you ARE more stronger than you realise. You can hold on, prove to yourself you can.

You don't need nor deserve the pain. Cutting makes you think there is nothing else in the world that will make you feel better, but it's all wrong. Don't let those evil thoughts mislead you, they are so not true. Just hold on tight, you CAN do it.

There are people you can turn to, people on here, friends, family, counsillors etc. There are so many people in the world who are nice, caring and and so willing to help you.

Take care sweetie <3

[Miss Punk]

I've just got in contact with a friend I'm going to talk to her

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

ok..that's good. Just keep on talking...keep yourself busy with something else...have you put whatever you were cutting with down?

[Triceratops]

I've just got in contact with a friend I'm going to talk to her

I'm glad to hear that. :)
Talking to her will be comforting, supporting and will make you feel so much better.

[Miss Punk]

Oh God I should probably tell you about what happened last night. I was really breaking down, I didn't know what to do, so I arranged to meet my friend at the end of my road, which is just across the street from where her bf lives, and she was at his house. I told her I was not ok and that I really needed to talk to her. I tried to get myself cleaned up a bit before I went, but it didn't help much and I was bleeding so badly that I couldn't put my jacket on I was covered in blood, it must have looked horrific because she just saw me and said 'Oh my god.' and I was just standing there. I really didn't know what to say to her. She decided to take me to her bf's house because he'd just done a first aid course for his work this week, and so he cleaned it up for me and put a piece of cloth round my arm for me. I didn't barely say a word the whole time, I still didn't know what to say. Then in the end, he called a paramedic and my friends came to A&E with me. We arrived at midnight and I got home at 3am. I felt terrible because they sat with me for hours and the cuts weren't that bad, all they did was clean them and redress them, and I was asked a load of questions by the medical people, quite a few of which I lied about. I don't know what to do now because now my friend knows but we didn't really talk at all. I don't know what to do at all, everything's so messed up. Especially my head. Yesterday I was even regreting not doing more damage, because even after they put a bandage on my arm, the urge to hurt myself was still there. I also feel really bad that my friend had to find out like that. I feel so frustrated, I am not in control of my life!!! I don't know what to do.

[Triceratops]

Oh God I should probably tell you about what happened last night. I was really breaking down, I didn't know what to do, so I arranged to meet my friend at the end of my road, which is just across the street from where her bf lives, and she was at his house. I told her I was not ok and that I really needed to talk to her. I tried to get myself cleaned up a bit before I went, but it didn't help much and I was bleeding so badly that I couldn't put my jacket on I was covered in blood, it must have looked horrific because she just saw me and said 'Oh my god.' and I was just standing there. I really didn't know what to say to her. She decided to take me to her bf's house because he'd just done a first aid course for his work this week, and so he cleaned it up for me and put a piece of cloth round my arm for me. I didn't barely say a word the whole time, I still didn't know what to say. Then in the end, he called a paramedic and my friends came to A&E with me. We arrived at midnight and I got home at 3am. I felt terrible because they sat with me for hours and the cuts weren't that bad, all they did was clean them and redress them, and I was asked a load of questions by the medical people, quite a few of which I lied about. I don't know what to do now because now my friend knows but we didn't really talk at all. I don't know what to do at all, everything's so messed up. Especially my head. Yesterday I was even regreting not doing more damage, because even after they put a bandage on my arm, the urge to hurt myself was still there. I also feel really bad that my friend had to find out like that. I feel so frustrated, I am not in control of my life!!! I don't know what to do.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Don't feel terrible about it, your friends sitting with you in the A&E was the right thing to do. It shows how much they care, are willing to help you and they are there right by your side. If your friend reacted with "Oh my God" then your friends must've thought your cuts were bad to them, otherwise they wouldn't of called a paramedic.
Maybe the fact that your friend knows isn't such a bad thing, as she now has an understanding. You are not messed up, at all, so don't worry about that :). You're just going thorugh a stressful time.
Please, go and see a professional/therapist, they will be able to help you more than we can and you might find it easier talking to them instead of struggling to find the words to say to your friends.

If you need anything else, PM me. :)

[Miss Punk]

The doctor said yesterday they were going to notify my GP about this so they could refer me on to someone. I guess I will wait and see what happens. I will talk to my friend again and see if she will help me talk to someone at school maybe.

Thanks for all your help. xx

[Triceratops]

That sounds like a good idea. :)

It's okay, and I wish you all the best xx <3

[Beautiful Obsession]

im glad that your getting help. what happened the other night must have been awful. sorry:)

im sure things will start going better for you know you will be speakin to someone. x

[Miss Punk]

I hope so. I'm really feeling at my worst right now. I can't describe how much I hate myself. I don't know what to do. Everything hurts.