what to do what to do

[phish]

Ok my parents broke up when I was 7, and it has not bothered me till now, currently I don't go to school,so on any givin day I am at one of 2 places the coffee shop or home. My mother gets her income from my father, they are not legally divoced(SP) but they are not togather to say the least. So wwe live in a house with no down stairs heat,no fridge,the freezer is on the frits,no hot water and the wood is roting, and it is dirty as hell.


Anyway my father is leading on a nice life, he has a girl friend he has a $120K pay check he goes out west for a week every winter to go skiing. Some times he bitchs and moans about money, one day I said something about the bail out and he says "oh I need a bail out"
I said "Dad please you are going skiing in a few days you should not be complaining about money" he went off adn said "YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA YOU FUCKING LITTLE INGRATE" so you get the idea, he thinks me and my brother and mother and living the good life wile he suffers.

And ever since he got this girl friend I don't matter anymore, like one day he came to come pick me up and he was in a really BAD mood he gets a call from Ammie and he picks up the phone "HAY DARLIN HOW ARE YOU DOING :):)" and is all nice. He talks with her for hours a day every day. He goes and plays tennis forgeting about me all the time last weekend he had 3 tennis matchs and a date and a party. Now I goes to
his on the week end and 1 or 2 nights in the week.
He does not want me over this weekend(or the last 2) and I over heard his saying "I have pretty much been on call for the last 3 months and that is not fair" OH ITS NOT FAIR WELL YOU ARE THE FUCKING ONE WHO GOT DIVORCED AND MOST PARENTS LIVE WITH THERE CHILDREN 365 DAYS A YEAR.

Anyway he is pushing me out of his life and
he is trying to pawn me off on my mother, how can I talk to him get his the message?


Oh and we are shuned by the naboors.


PS: he goes around calling my family "you people" and saying bad things about them.

[byee]

Phish, your situation is truly lousy, and there's really only two things I can say to it (other than to offer my sincere understanding and maybe a warm brownie to you for having to live like this): 1) That's what lawyers are for, and 2) You can't pick your family.

Your mom would do well to contact a lawyer and file the proper motions for child support $$$ so you can live "properly" (Like have heat and so on). Your dad can make the choice to end the relationship with your mom, but he can't end his financial responsibilities to you, as his child. So, he can seperate from her, but not from his obligations from you, and the Courts will help him 'understand' that and pay.

Your feelings about his rejection/abandonment of you are also understandable, it's a truly lousy thing when parents dismiss those they've brought into this world, but frankly your dad doesn't sound very enlightened to begin with, his response here isn't just inappropriate with you, it's with all of you.

All you can do is try to appeal to that part of him that had you, let him know how you feel about his dismissal of you, and hope that he can see value in maintaining a relationship with you. If he cannot, the sense of loss and rejection is understandably awful, but keep in mind that it is not about you, it is not a reflection on your value as a person or a son, but rather a reflection on his ability (or inability) to maintain long term, worthwhile connections, and move on.

[Skeln]

First of all, I wants a brownie!

Sorry, just had to type that. I find it terrible witht he way you're living and I think your father needs a wake-up call. As Sam said, a laywer would definately help with your situation at home and hopefully with your father. Although from your point your situation sounds terrible, but heck you might not know your father's whole situation. Hopefully you can try to communicate with your father and try to establish some sort of happy relationship, or at least a non-sad relationship.