Girlfriend problems really need help

[venom832]

Well me and this one girl have been dating for about 4 months now. And it seems like everything has been going good and things until about a month and a half ago.we have been not like on the same terms for instance, everytime i wanted to hang out with her or be with her she would blow me off saying she couldent and shes in trouble but when her friends(alot of guy friends) wanted to hang out she was avaliable. She told me she was really in love with me but until this week i found out some things like she told me she was a virgin long time and her first time would have to be with me. I found out shr was having sex last wrek and her first time was in 7th grade. I gave the girl like everything i had in me. I rlly do elive im in love with her but how could she lie to me. She has been talking to about 5 guys for the past 3 weekz puting hearts around there names and wen i ask her she says there just friends. But i found out she says she loves them too. Like she says im bossy and all i try to do is make her happy And be with her . I jus wanted to feel cared for and i rlly thought she did. I cant trust her because its like shes bee ln lying to me the whole time and the thing you need most in a realitonshil is trust and i dont trust her. Wen i would ask her something like do you habe feelings for your x she would say no and yet she wants to fight some girl over him. She really just broke my heart and she keeps on trying to come back i just dont knoe if i should let her. I wanna forgive but i wanna forget.
Help!:(

[byee]

Maybe it's time to let go and say good bye.

At 14, it's truly doubtful that any relationship you have now is THE one that will last forever. So, enjoy it while you can, and as you grow apart or otherwise find things that don't 'work', you have to be able to recognize all that and let go.

Going out now is good practice, it gives you the opportunity to develop those abilities and skills to identify what it is that you're looking for in a life partner, and the skills to grow close with them. In order for all that to happen, though, you have to be able to look at your feelings objectively (hard, I know), and recognize that eventhough you WANT it to work, when it doesn't, you have to be able to let go and move on.

[HelloWorld123456]

i dont think she respects you much man .. there are a lot of women in the world .... i think shes a biatch(No offence intended) Look for a better hotter and more careing gf !

[venom832]

I understand what you guys are saying but how do i let go?

[byee]

How do you let go? Well, first, you have to admit that the relationship is over, and then deal with that sense of loss, the sadness, that goes with it. Get lots of support, TLC from yuor friends, recognize there's a real injury there, and treat it with the same care and respect you would any other pain. And, don't look to *her* to make you feel better, you'd have to look forward, not backwards.

It takes time, but everyone survives loss. Better to deal with the discomfort of losing something that wasn't working then staying too long with it and not being fully satisfied. It's a good lesson to let go when it's sour, and not just hold on b/c it's better than nothing (it's better to be alone than be in a bad relationship!), and with time, you get used to being able to recognize when it's time to go, and the loss gets easier, too.

Soon, you'll be ready to find someone else, who (hopefully!) will be better for you. That's the good thing about letting go, it leaves you available for somethng better.

[WoW_GOD]

yeah, she honestly looks like a whore, no offense, you can get way better because you look like a truly nice kid, just putting your heart into somebody who doesn't have their heart in you can hurt a lot.

[INFERNO]

This seems to be a 1-way relationship going headfirst down the shitter. Acknowledge to yourself that this little teenage "romance" is over and move on. She clearly has moved on already so you should too.

Some advice for next time: when the girl says something but to others says something else (i.e. being a virgin, having sex in 7th grade), and you know of both, it's time to stop, question it because she's being dishonest and presumably you're not. For me, I can tolerate this maybe once, possibly twice if both are minor things (virginity I consider to be major, minor would be a grade she got on a test). Anymore than that, and I don't tolerate it. I'll get her to admit the truth even though I know it, I'd want her to acknowledge it, tell me other possible truths she may have lied on. If it turns into a bitch-fit, then I tell her to drop dead/fuck off, etc... and I walk away. Two major things and same thing, ask for truths, if it turns into a bitch-fit, then I leave. Only exception would be to have her as a fuck-buddy but no emotional relationship, only temporary sexual. If that then gets emotional, assuming I have another girlfriend, then that's when it's time to get more crafty.

If something doesn't sound right or if there are conflicting views, either she (1 person is lying) or friends (I'll say 5+ are lying). Chances are it's the one, and it's that one person I'm more interested in, in the first place.

[venom832]

So like she trys to call me and talk to me?
Is it right just to ignore her?

[byee]

You can do whatever you want, whatever helps you move on. As a public service reminder, it's always good to be a gentleman, so you might want to explain yourself to her so she understands and knows what to expect.

[INFERNO]

So like she trys to call me and talk to me?
Is it right just to ignore her?

At this point, I'd be more inclined to explain my actions to her rather than simply ignore her and leave. Ignoring her may lead to her calling more and more, getting angry, then it becomes harder for you to explain. I'd say it'd be more curteous to explain to her your reasoning. She may still get angry at your reasoning, however, it's the more polite and gentleman-like thing to do.

[Mikey]

I've had a girl similar to this.