nachtspiegel
April 29th, 2009, 04:26 AM
Okay, so, while I am aware that this situation could be worse, I need to vent.
My mother's mood swings are driving me up the wall.
One moment, she will be completely fine with me. The next moment, I have to walk on eggshells because she's prone to exploding.
Last night, she was fine. Within fifteen minutes, she pulled her hand back as if she was going to backhand me over something stupid. Only when I told her to watch her ass and put her hand down did she actually chill out a little bit.
(Truth be told, while I wouldn't have hit her back, I would've found a way to show her why she shouldn't raise her hand to me when I've done nothing to deserve it.) A friend suggested that the next time she does it that I should punch a hole in the wall next to her head to get my point across. I'm not feeling that, though.
My dad's constant drinking (they have been married for more than twenty two years and it has never changed,) my sister's terminal illness (end stage renal failure and heart failure) and our ever constant, never completely get out of the hole financial situation has got her in a tough bind.
I do my best to understand, but last night, when she was within a moment of backhanding me, I realized that the situation is starting to get out of hand once again, and I won't tolerate it.
I do my best to understand that she's not going to be feeling completely peachy, but at the same time, I will not tolerate anyone putting their hands on me because of something that someone else did.
The reason that I posted this is that I do not know what to do next. During the other times that we had these bad periods, I was either eventually told to get out, or, on the much rarer occasion, I'd leave on my own accord.
That doesn't work right now because I have absolutely nowhere else to go.
Last night, we about had a big argument because I wanted her to turn the television off (I have to sleep in the living room and the television keeps me awake like you wouldn't believe.)
I got a rude, unnecessary reply. Everyone else here has their personal space, so none of them understand my point.
I'm glad to rant, and now I'm going to go lay down (as much as I shouldn't) because my head is killing me and I have things to do today.
My mother's mood swings are driving me up the wall.
One moment, she will be completely fine with me. The next moment, I have to walk on eggshells because she's prone to exploding.
Last night, she was fine. Within fifteen minutes, she pulled her hand back as if she was going to backhand me over something stupid. Only when I told her to watch her ass and put her hand down did she actually chill out a little bit.
(Truth be told, while I wouldn't have hit her back, I would've found a way to show her why she shouldn't raise her hand to me when I've done nothing to deserve it.) A friend suggested that the next time she does it that I should punch a hole in the wall next to her head to get my point across. I'm not feeling that, though.
My dad's constant drinking (they have been married for more than twenty two years and it has never changed,) my sister's terminal illness (end stage renal failure and heart failure) and our ever constant, never completely get out of the hole financial situation has got her in a tough bind.
I do my best to understand, but last night, when she was within a moment of backhanding me, I realized that the situation is starting to get out of hand once again, and I won't tolerate it.
I do my best to understand that she's not going to be feeling completely peachy, but at the same time, I will not tolerate anyone putting their hands on me because of something that someone else did.
The reason that I posted this is that I do not know what to do next. During the other times that we had these bad periods, I was either eventually told to get out, or, on the much rarer occasion, I'd leave on my own accord.
That doesn't work right now because I have absolutely nowhere else to go.
Last night, we about had a big argument because I wanted her to turn the television off (I have to sleep in the living room and the television keeps me awake like you wouldn't believe.)
I got a rude, unnecessary reply. Everyone else here has their personal space, so none of them understand my point.
I'm glad to rant, and now I'm going to go lay down (as much as I shouldn't) because my head is killing me and I have things to do today.