She wants to kill herself...

[Triceratops]

A lot of weird things have been happening lately and something awful has just happened, and I'm so scared I can't even explain it.

Someone very close to me has had a complete breakdown, and I was talking to her on MSN and she swears and promises she's going to kill herself - and she is the sort of person to ALWAYS keep her promises. She is going through an unimaginably tough time with family, bullies, college and suffers from bad anxiety. I know everything that goes on in her life and vice versa, everything she is going through is torture, and I won't go into detail as to how awful everything is for her because it will take me forever and a day to explain.

I've tried everything, I've tried talking her out of it and letting her know much I care about her and how I would do anything for her. She SWEARS suicide is the only way out, and I've convinced her that that's not true but she snapped back, "the only way out of my pain and depression is suicide! if you want to escape the self harming and bulimia you've gone through then suicide is the only answer for you too." Those were her exact words I copied and pasted from the MSN conversation.
I was hurt by that, but she has a point. It is a harsh thing to say but I understand how upset she is and she needs me, as there's no one else for her to turn to.

I'm sick of the pain people I love and care for go through, including friends and family members and it kills me inside to watch them suffer. I also hate myself, the way I think, the way I deal with things, the way I look, the way people ignore me when I put in so much effort, the way I fuck everything up, the way people judge me, the way people criticise me, the way I take everything to heart and my whole self in general.

She is so serious about commiting suicide, after talking to her on MSN I decided to call her and she still sounded very serious on the phone, she was completely in tears and I was heartbroken to hear her be so distraught.

I told her if she killed herself then I would too. I swore I would. I was shaking at the time I told her that but now I truly mean it and if she goes down, I'm going down with her. I mean it, I care about her so fucking much.

I'm so sorry for this long post, but I didn't know where else to go with this.

[Sceneboy612]

Oh my god, this really is serious, I understand that you have tried to tell her not to commit suicide, but try to tell her the good thing that she would leave behind, and how it would affect the people who she loves. If she is going to commit suicide, you HAVE to stop her, she can get help, there is so much more in life than what she is going through. People out there really can be good, and she just needs to find them.

Suicide is not the easy way out, it does not accomplish anything, and hurts everyone that cares about you.

I too take on the emotions of the people that i care about, so i can kinda relate to you on that. But if she does commit, please do not do the same, you seem so nice, you don't deserve to die... you are a such a good person, and in this world, we really need the few good people that there are. Do whatever you can to make your friend happy.

Please PM me if you need to talk to anyone or anything

[byee]

WHOA! Marcie! Listen up here.

First, if your friend is in such dire straights that she's threatening to kill herself, you MUST tell either your folks, or hers, or both. This is very serious, you need to get her to someone who can help her and treat this professionally. It's way too much responsibility for you to take on, you need to send out the SOS to the adults who are in a position to get her somewhere safe and with good people to address this.

Then, I think you need to take a step back from the edge yourself here. Her misery is not your misery, don't internalize it. I know this stuff is contagious, esp. btw'n really good friends, but remember that her stuff (and response to it) is NOT good, and you shouldn't follow suit. Fight the urge to go there, keep your perspective, and realize that your primary responsibility here isn't to 'help' her yourself, but to realize she needs more, and get that for her by telling the adults. Then, realize that you need to keep your *stuff* out of it, you cannot be of value to her if you jump into the hole with her.

Tell your folks, or hers, or both.

[Triceratops]

I would like to thank both of you for your good advice. :)

So here's an update on the situation:
I managed to talk her out of killing herself (trust me, it was hard work!) without having to tell any parents or anything like that. A few days after the incident she owned up to her parents and told them everything and surprisingly they were pretty understanding and she has now been referred to a psychiatrist and is taking her meds.

So she is still living and breathing and I couldn't be more pleased. :)

[cool person]

Marskki,

You should be so proud of yourself. You just saved your friends life. Think about that next time you are feeling down, a girl is alive, living breathing thinking feeling solely because of you.

[Sceneboy612]

Oh my god that is so good, You did such a good thing for your friend. See, you ARE a good person.

And your welcome, and please don't risk your life like that, i know that she really means something to you, but suicide is really not the option for your problems, and could you really leave all of those who care about you?

[Beautiful Obsession]

Marskki well done bbe, glad you both feeling better! hope your m8 recovers:)


xx