I'm New Here + Question

[BlackEyedDog]

Unlike most people here, I s'pose, I am not a regular SH-er. I've only done it a couple times recently -- but am exceedingly tempted and fear that I'll fall into the habit in full force. My situation makes me feel like an animal that deserves to be put down.

Due to my constant aversion to what I see as cliche (literally cutting, for example) and fear of sharp objects, I have damaged myself in other ways -- most notably, mauling my chest with the back end of a hammer and beating my head into city pavement at night 'til my face is covered with blood and dirt.

How common is this sort of SH? Does it indicate anything about the nature of my temptation or motivation? I feel like most of the help around for SH doesn't totally apply, and a web search finds me no cases like my own.

[Hyper]

Most SHers cut

But there are those who do other things, like You described. I'm not really sure if it indicates anything really.

And if You are fearful of the habbit stop it before it becomes an addiction.

[Mzor203]

I'm sorry to be blunt about this, but, for your information, beating your head against the pavement until you are bleeding is neither healthy nor normal. I STRONGLY suggest you talk to someone before you do end up getting sucked into self-harming. Preferably a parent so that they can assist you with this.

I know this might not be what you want to hear, but trust me, if you've done something as dangerous as this multiple times, it indicates that there is a problem that needs to be fixed as it could be extremely dangerous to you.

[zdallasz]

wouldn't it hurt a lot if u bang ur head on pavement? and it might lead to long term injury.

[ebony15]

yeah goodness.. why would you hurt yourself like that??

[Truth]

.......

[katytruthteller]

i think u shud go to someone u can trust wether it be a doctor or counsellor or a family member and talk to them as if u are not careful u may end up with some kind of permanent damage to ur head nd brain it really isnt healthy and i hope u stop :)

[Miss Punk]

Hey, I used to be like you and I only self-harmed when I felt so bad that I had to, which would be two or three times over the course of a few days every few months or so, and I thought I had it under control because for four years it never became a habit, but if you don't stop while it's only a small problem, it will get bigger and will become a habit. Did for me, I cut every day now, and never used to think it would get that bad. If you can't stop yourself from doing it, perhaps you should consider asking someone for help? I know that's hard. Take care xx

[BlackEyedDog]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. But my issue is that if I go and talk to someone then it will be as if I am doing this as some BS "cry for help" or attempt to get attention. That, I know, is not the issue. I simply hate my physical body. I'm not just getting rid of emotional pain through physical, although that's the effect afterward. What calms me is to think that I've judged myself fairly -- to think that I've given myself my due punishment.

[Tankgirlpookie]

Hi,

the most comman self harm is cutting

i have done some burning and a lot of hair pulling and head banging against walls
its not normal but neither is cutting its just simple less comman if you want to chat to me i know some of what your dealing with!

the feel free to add me on msn or something!
you need a more postitive view point on yourself and this is the first step of reaching out for help next will be asking for direct help from someone in direct contact with you!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Hey I have heard of this kind of self harm and I have had friends that do it. I know it's a hard thing to do and your probably not going to want to hear it but you need to get help...Counseling may not be your thing...but talk to someone...it helps...or find another outlet when you are angry or upset about something....just don't take it out on you physically...I don't know if your any bit religous or not...but I am going to say this just in case you are okay? So no one take offense please....First of all, God took away every sin you ever commit...You do not have to take it out on yourself...you do not deserve the pain you are putting on yourself...

[Tankgirlpookie]

Hey I have heard of this kind of self harm and I have had friends that do it. I know it's a hard thing to do and your probably not going to want to hear it but you need to get help...Counseling may not be your thing...but talk to someone...it helps...or find another outlet when you are angry or upset about something....just don't take it out on you physically...I don't know if your any bit religous or not...but I am going to say this just in case you are okay? So no one take offense please....First of all, God took away every sin you ever commit...You do not have to take it out on yourself...you do not deserve the pain you are putting on yourself...

Your really awesome! my mother is a vicar and im a christian i know its sad to say but i never thought of it like that! Thanks x

[FurtureMA]

Firstly you need to get help, no form of self harm is "normal". However banging your head could cause long term effects.
"STAYING STRONG4HIM"- suggested trying to find another outlet, this is only advice from personal experience but you said your physically body was the reason you beleived you SH'ed, so why not join a gym??

I joined a gym and haven't cut myself for just under two months- its hard but its something to try.

ps. Only join a gym if you have seeked help first if you have an issue with your body it could turn bad. XxMx

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I am glad that I could help you out there...I would be glad to talk to ya anytime...just PM me....Your not going to believe this but I can write something like a post and not remember what I wrote 5 minutes later...and I'll go back and read it again and I'll be like hmm..I wrote that? lol. I did that with this post and I was like...oh I don't remember writing that...lol..."FUTURE MA"- had a good idea though about the gym...excercise helps...even if it's not your self image that bothers you...excercising releases endorphins that makes you feel better...I have been trying to do excercise each day...I've been so busy lately though that I haven't been able to get started into that...
So "Tankgirlpookie" I hope you don't mind me asking but what is vicar? I have never heard of that

[BlackEyedDog]

Again, thank you all for your responses and kindness. STAYING_STRONG4HIM -- although I may not be a practicing Christian, to hear your comment about God's forgiveness was genuinely helpful. And no, it isn't a self-image issue. The exercise point is a valid one, though. I'm a rock climber, and when I'm doing that I feel at peace. It combines the rush of physical exertion with the peace of the outdoors. So I don't need a gym.

[Tankgirlpookie]

So "Tankgirlpookie" I hope you don't mind me asking but what is vicar? I have never heard of that

a vicar is a priest/pastor/reverend the leader of the chuch my mum is a vicar for the church of england runs 4 churches
that make things clearer!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Glad I could help "BlackEyedDog"...I encourage you to try and pick up your Bible any time that you are thinking about SH, it helps. Just a suggestion. I have not been a practicing Christian until this past year or so, but the more involved I get in my church and with God the more I realize how much I really do need Him. Just some thoughts...

"tankgirlpookie"- that makes more sense to me now. I guess I have just never heard that word before.