in eargent need of help!

[auzzi]

im 13, im in this relataionship with a gir who if really deppresed, now the problem is if i break up with her i think she will try and kill herself, beacase shes teetering on the edge of weather she should do it any way, i dont use to the word love unless i mean it, but i think im in love with a nother girl, who my best friend wants to go out with and is my girlfriends best friend. :(

WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?:what::what::what::what:

[irishdude695]

Well...

1) This really has nothing to do with puberty... sorry.
2) You should probably just talk with your parents about it, its not like they would get mad at you or something.
3) If I were you i would just continue the relationship long enough so she can get out of this state of depression..but not right after she gets better because that could send her into another depression.

All in all, I would just talk to your parents about it and get their advice, they would probably help out a lot.

[Requin]

Yeah this has nothing to do with puberty, moving to Relationships & Dating. Oh and I'll answer your q later, I have to rush off now. :)

[ebony15]

Gowsssh... if you werent in love with her in the first place.. why'd ya go out with her?

[Skeln]

Well, I suggest that who hold off on your new relationship for awhile. In my eyes, helping your suicidal friend takes priority. This could be a matter of life and death for her, so the best you can do is tell her parents or your parents and support her as much as you can. I know people who've been in the same situation as you, and they were the ones who were suicidal and they said that their girlfriend/boyfriend was the only thing keeping them alive. I suggets you keep a strong relationship with her for awhile because right now she needs all of the support she can get.

[ebony15]

I suggets you keep a strong relationship with her for awhile because right now she needs all of the support she can get

Nice Suggestion..

you know, you shouldnt just care about yourself... This girl is in love with you..and she expects your love in return.
I bet it'll really hurt her..
& being supportive and make her feel that your around would surely help her.
But leaving her when she's ok wouldnt be a good idea cuz you're the reason why she's ok...anyways...Good luck man...
hope something good will happen...& hope she doesnt do anything like Killing herself...

[byee]

Ok, if you're really worried about her actually hurting herself, you should tell your parents. This is just gen'l advice, btw, not specific to breaking up with her. Self destructive behaviors (or depression) are things that no kid should have to be responsible for, that's what adults and parents are for.

Then, you should determine what you want to do in the realtionship, and if you decide to break up, just remember that she's fragile, and to be nice (which you should always be, anyway).

People should never be intimidated into staying with someone for fear of what they might do. If they have that fear, they should recognize it, and tell someone who can intervene and prevent it from hapeneing, independently of what you do in your relationship.

[auzzi]

thanks, but i found out yesterday the girl im in love with likes me like that too.

and i cant go to my parents, im not like that i cant, i would just get teased and shrugged off

[asdhaklsjdh]

removed

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Okay here's some advice from someone who has been through a pretty similar situation...I was in the place you were in about 3 months ago, My boyfriend was in to cutting at the time and he was having a really hard time just dealing with things...his parents were divorced and both of them were remarried ( to different people) he wasn't making a lot of good choices at the time, he starting hanging out with the wrong crowd. He overdosed on tylenol...he overdosed by a lot...but it was not enough to kill but it made him sick. One day he had written me a note saying that he was thinking about commiting suicide or running away...the whole idea that he was not going to be there with me scared me...I cried almost all day...for a week...but never once did I let him see me cry. The day that he wrote that note to me I called my youth pastor because I didn't know what else to do...all I knew was that he needed help that I couldn't give him...Through my youth pastor his parents were contacted and were told what was going on...I was afraid that by his parents finding out or anyone else that he would be mad with me because he told me not to tell anyone but I did...and later he thanked me for it. As I was facing the fear of him giving up his own life I was also dealing with grief....after losing 3 of my relatives to cancer. I just could not handle dealing with him and the grief at the same time...and I needed to take care of myself...so I thought it would be best if I broke up with him..even though I still loved him very much...I just couldn't handle all of it...so I broke up with him...gently...lovingly...I told him that I just could not handle it all anymore...and that I needed to take a break...at first he didn't understand...he couldn't understand why I was breaking up with him because things were so going so good with us. But I just explained it over and over again...he really scared me at first...because I thought he was going to commit suicide...but he didn't...thank goodness...I would have felt somewhat responsible if he did...even though it would not have been my fault. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's okay to break up with her. I really think that her parents and friends and such should be aware though that she is depressed...if they don't know already...and I really think that if she is not going to conunseling already then she should, It helped my boyfriend tremendously...just make sure before you break up that someone else knows and can help her and that she has someone else that can be there for her...however, I'm not sure how she's going to react to you dating her best friend...she's probably going to feel betrayed...I don't know I hope this helped a little bit...

[Archer600]

Wow looks like u got yourself a problem if the other girl really likes u or is at all worth it u should be able to explain the situation to her and she will be perfectly happy to wait untill u can solve ur problem. And if she won't wait then the other girl isn't worth a damn and u still got plenty of time

[ebony15]

Okay here's some advice from someone who has been through a pretty similar situation...I was in the place you were in about 3 months ago, My boyfriend was in to cutting at the time and he was having a really hard time just dealing with things...his parents were divorced and both of them were remarried ( to different people) he wasn't making a lot of good choices at the time, he starting hanging out with the wrong crowd. He overdosed on tylenol...he overdosed by a lot...but it was not enough to kill but it made him sick. One day he had written me a note saying that he was thinking about commiting suicide or running away...the whole idea that he was not going to be there with me scared me...I cried almost all day...for a week...but never once did I let him see me cry. The day that he wrote that note to me I called my youth pastor because I didn't know what else to do...all I knew was that he needed help that I couldn't give him...Through my youth pastor his parents were contacted and were told what was going on...I was afraid that by his parents finding out or anyone else that he would be mad with me because he told me not to tell anyone but I did...and later he thanked me for it. As I was facing the fear of him giving up his own life I was also dealing with grief....after losing 3 of my relatives to cancer. I just could not handle dealing with him and the grief at the same time...and I needed to take care of myself...so I thought it would be best if I broke up with him..even though I still loved him very much...I just couldn't handle all of it...so I broke up with him...gently...lovingly...I told him that I just could not handle it all anymore...and that I needed to take a break...at first he didn't understand...he couldn't understand why I was breaking up with him because things were so going so good with us. But I just explained it over and over again...he really scared me at first...because I thought he was going to commit suicide...but he didn't...thank goodness...I would have felt somewhat responsible if he did...even though it would not have been my fault. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's okay to break up with her. I really think that her parents and friends and such should be aware though that she is depressed...if they don't know already...and I really think that if she is not going to conunseling already then she should, It helped my boyfriend tremendously...just make sure before you break up that someone else knows and can help her and that she has someone else that can be there for her...however, I'm not sure how she's going to react to you dating her best friend...she's probably going to feel betrayed...I don't know I hope this helped a little bit...


quite a story there ..:)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Yeah it is quite a story...it's the story of my life...just one step along the way...to insanity...lol...