Fuck it.

[nachtspiegel]

I'm in therapy and I am medicated.
My therapist is leaving in a little more than a month.
My psychiatrist does not listen.
My medicine isn't working.
I understand that pills don't fix everything, but I have made almost no progress.
I'm very seriously considering (and may have already decided) to stop both the therapy and the psychiatry.

It isn't helping.
Getting another doctor will be a challenge, and my mom probably won't be on board for it.

I've lived without treatment before.
I guess I will have to live without it again.

I just needed to let that loose.
That is all.

[wavey]

Hi david. Some dont listen, theyre getting paid for just noding their heads. tell ur mom u want a new one because they aint listening! also, the meds will need to be chaged.

What exactly are you in therapy and stuff for?

[nachtspiegel]

I am diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and PTSD.

The PTSD was brought on by years of sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and living in violent, neglectful, and dangerous situations.

[Hyper]

David! You should try and do everything You can to get help from the best suitable people for You.

I know it can suck and I know EVERYTHING is easier said than done..

But You've been to the unmedicated life for awhile and from what I've read from Your posts, topics over the years is, that its not very fun.

So please reconsider and try to do whats best for You in the longest possible run ;)

[nachtspiegel]

I'm thinking about asking my therapist if I can continue seeing a psychiatrist without seeing a therapist (after she leaves in June.)

I'm just confused and I feel like my hands are tied behind my back.

[Hyper]

Well try working things out as much as possible. Find someone You can trust and who cares.

[nachtspiegel]

Even with my past suicide attempts,
I never wanted to die more than I did last night.

I want to bleed until there is none left.
It's not the will to live that is holding me back, but when I do go, I don't want to cause a scene.

[Hyper]

Even with my past suicide attempts,
I never wanted to die more than I did last night.

I want to bleed until there is none left.
It's not the will to live that is holding me back, but when I do go, I don't want to cause a scene.

Well David thats a paradoxal wish seeing as you have a family.

And usually any teen suicide causes a scene.

I hope You start feeling better soon.. And I urge You to try and find a theraphist & psychiatrist that listen to You & that You can trust.

I don't see much point in giving You the comfort talk David, but You've made it very far, considering how much beep has been in your life, and I hope you keep going because you have alot potential ( everybody does at some place ) and I'd like to see You live a happy life someday