No one will take me fucking serious!

[Viral Death]

I fear talking to a doctor about my depression. And when I try to talk to my dad he gets carried away with his story he is telling so we never talk about it. And when I try to talk to my grandparents they think it is a joke. I have stopped cutting for about a week and I have been cutting where someone would not notice. I am pissed all the time and I pretty much never sleep I sleep when I get home but I sit up all night in the dark. Some rumor got around the school that the police came to my house and tried to stop me from suicide. I have been pissed that people ignore me like I am a ghost. And when I try to talk to my grandparents about me depression also they say I just want attention from people. I hate myself because I messed up my whole life by moving to this hick town and I just wait to die. All I do in my classes is sit at a desk and write poems about my messed up life, death, or depression. And when my grandparents come in my room when I am crying they just say grow up and they look at the poems on my room and say,"what is this shit?".

I am just sick of fucking people and god damn people that don't understand me you think they know but you don't.

How can I get help before I just crack and just destroy things around me?

[theOperaGhost]

Can I ask why you fear talking to a doctor about your depression?

[Viral Death]

They wont take me serious they will just laugh like my grandparents

[theOperaGhost]

Why do you say that though? Do you have past experience with that or do you just assume? Doctors are professionals. The reason they became doctors was to help people like you. They have no reason to not take you seriously. If they don't take you seriously, they should not be getting paid and they should find another profession.

[Viral Death]

Well the school nurse said it was just puberty. But I don't think so it is much worse I cut myself I have hidden razor blades in my shoes so I could cut myself at school. I just hate my life. I am the reason my dad got sent to prison. If i was not around then he would of not gone to prison. I am the reason I don't get to see my sister anymore. I would be better if I was not alive.

Something I wrote in English-
Darkness:
I have fallen
Broken ankle bleeding
I cant stand anymore
I just sit on this cloud of darkness
I just soak in my pool of blood
waiting to die

I see some light above
it just wont move
for I just sit here to die
I see death above
his sythe clean and polished
His robe darker than all the greys and blacks

He tells me,"Just sit here in pain and die"
he floats away from my useless body
floats right past the pool of crimson blood
I just fall asleep and wait to die

I wake up still on the cloud of darkness
a razor next to me
I start to cut
the pool of blood gets bigger
I just sit here
cry and weep
I just sit here for the rest of my life
just waiting for death to kill me

[theOperaGhost]

I'm sure you did not cause your dad to go to prison. Tell me what happened...if you don't want to post it for everyone to see, you can PM me. His actions are not your fault.

That poem was amazing...terribly sad, but you are a wonderful writer.

[byee]

First, i'm really sorry you're feeling so bad, and that no one will take it seriously. I will.


The task is to find someone who WILL take it seriously. Find the time to approach *whoever*, and let them know you need some of their time to talk with them about something very important. Schedule that time, so they have fair notice that something serious is going on, so they can give you their full, undivided attention.

Then, you might do well to let them know in very plain (and undramatic language, the story speaks for itself) what you've been feeling, for how long, and for how badly. Then make sure you talk about the cutting, and show them. Then, let them know you need their help in getting to a psychologist for help. Don't try to convince them, just give them the data, the info about your feelings and your cutting.

Family members (parents, grandparents) often cannot accept that their loved ones are struggling with these types of serious issues. I think it's a sort of self protective thing they have, not really seeing the seriousness of it, b/c it's just too uncomfortable and scary for them to do so. However, if you do it in a way that makes it very clear to them that you are serious, then most parents will take appropriate action. And, if that doesn't work, telling another trusted adult with some authority here (like a teacher or school person) might work, as they can then intervene on your behalf.

It's easy to see 'all adults' in the same light, but it's not that simple. And certainly not doctors, who are specifically trained to take people and their feelings and needs into consideration. However, before you get to the doc, you need to adjust your style (and timing) so the 'gatekeepers' can really appreciate how much you're hurting and how much you need their help.

Keep at it, make a plan to address the timing and content issues.

[Viral Death]

I told my friend and he just told me to grow up. I think I am going to talk to Kim tomorrow.

[theOperaGhost]

I'm not sure who Kim is, but talking to an adult that you trust would be best. Talking to friends can be a good thing, but sometimes they aren't mature enough to understand that you are really struggling.

[Viral Death]

Okay, Kim is my science teacher and also the school counceller

[theOperaGhost]

Good luck with talking to her! :)

[Viral Death]

Thanks

[teenanx94]

Hey, I know how u feel. After my parents divorce I was so suicidal. I almost did it in the school bathroom. My parents don't really listen to me either and our school counsler is piece of crap! If you ever want to talk please feel free to send me a message.

[wavey]

That sucks man. ive read everything in this post and your really down, people must take you serious, the doctor would not laugh. he will get you help.

Dont think about suicide. the poems are your way of letting it all out.

[Viral Death]

But my poems don't help one bit. I got yelled at for not caring about my grades and my grandparents said the reason I am down if puberty but I think this is more than puberty. WHY DONT THEY UNDERSTAND ME? WHY WONT THEY HELP ME? WHY WONT THEY GET IT?

[teenanx94]

Have u tried talking go everyone? Are there any really close friends that would listen? If there are i would try that.

[Leprachaun]

Are you religious? You could maybe turn to your religion, talk to a priest. Priests are good at that sort of thing and definitely wouldn't laugh at you.

[Pirate]

I think I know how you feel about doctors.. it's not even always their fault, there's just something about talking to complete strangers about how I'M feeling and about MY life that I find discouraging. I almost feel like I have something to prove by being there, when I know that I'm not coping and need help. I don't really know how else to explain it..
xx

[dead]

You should talk to your doctor so there can be some help with your depression before you do something serious.

[foof1]

talk to an adult you can trust at school, like a teacher or a school counselor