What is annoying me here?

[rossafc92]

I made a few threads about one of my really good friends who is a girl in the "Relationships & Dating" section, since I was beginning to really really like (love) her as more than a friend.

I was beginning to think she felt the same way about me too, as were other friends in our "group". Anyway I recently found out that she didn't like me in that way but just felt "comfortable" around me, hence why she acted all excitable and flirty with me. I was gutted because I was falling for her when she just found me "comfortable".

Well, ever since then (it was around a week ago), I've really taken a dislike to her. This is based on the what she said about me and that I've found out she likes someone else in our group who likes her in return. This boy she likes (i'll call him M), has only just started to hang out with us, as one of his friends was friends with us. Well M has been annoying me, as has his friend (call him H), as they seem to think everyone likes them etc, and all the attention in our group seems to be on them two. That has annoyed me and a couple of other friends within the group, and it is getting to the point where I think a lot of us are going to split friendships over it.

Anyway, back to the girl I liked (we'll call her S), she has said to one of my friends that she likes M. She said that she was "going to make a move on him" when I wasn't there. M says that he really likes S, yet doesn't want to do anything in my presence (because he knows I do/did like her). That REALLY pisses me off. Why are they playing their game behind my back? S is meant to be a really good friend to me, and I barely know M, so why the hell is he planning his moves behind my back, but telling others in the group about it? Do S and M not realise that people talk?

So, I don't know what is getting me annoyed more. I can't figure whether it is the presence of M and his friend M withing our group; whether it is S for the way she treated and talked about me or is it the fact S and M both like eachother? I can't understand why I feel it would be the latter as I feel like I'm getting over S (although can't stand her at the moment because I'm realising what a two faced cow and cheeky bitch she really is), but I get this horrible feeling everytime I think of S and M if they were to get together (which, despite what S said to me, seems imminent).

Really sorry for the length of the post here, but help would be appreciated so much because I don't want to fall out with anyone because I can't figure what is annoying me. There is much more to this story than I have put here, but it would just be too much to put in one go, so I may add stuff in when I reply to others' replies.

Thank you.

[Destiny&Desire]

Heyy, sorry to hear that you're in a really confusing situation right now.

Obviously when S first told you she wasn't interested, you felt negative, and you've begun to dislike her, but you can't say it's her fault that she doesn't return your feelings. But you say she acted 'flirty' with you, and if she knew how you reacted to her behaviour then I'd say that it wasn't right of her to do that. Have you discussed with her how her attitude made you see things?

As for the relationship with M&S (lol, not the shop), maybe they're trying to do it without you noticing because they think you'll be hurt if you see them together (which you might well be, if you don't like the idea of them getting together). But if you don't want them to do things secretly, then you'll have to explain to them that you don't want things hidden from you, but that would mean that you're willing to accept that they're together.

I think your main problem here is communication. Everything you've mentioned sounds like people are talking behind each others' backs, and the only way to get a clear conscience is to get everyone involved together, and have a chat on what you think's going on, and everyone elses' opinions. That might clear things up.

Sorry if this hasn't really helped much, but just try and talk to the people involved, and maybe you can talk things through
x x x

[jack straw]

I made a few threads about one of my really good friends who is a girl in the "Relationships & Dating" section, since I was beginning to really really like (love) her as more than a friend.

I was beginning to think she felt the same way about me too, as were other friends in our "group". Anyway I recently found out that she didn't like me in that way but just felt "comfortable" around me, hence why she acted all excitable and flirty with me. I was gutted because I was falling for her when she just found me "comfortable".

Well, ever since then (it was around a week ago), I've really taken a dislike to her. This is based on the what she said about me and that I've found out she likes someone else in our group who likes her in return. This boy she likes (i'll call him M), has only just started to hang out with us, as one of his friends was friends with us. Well M has been annoying me, as has his friend (call him H), as they seem to think everyone likes them etc, and all the attention in our group seems to be on them two. That has annoyed me and a couple of other friends within the group, and it is getting to the point where I think a lot of us are going to split friendships over it.

Anyway, back to the girl I liked (we'll call her S), she has said to one of my friends that she likes M. She said that she was "going to make a move on him" when I wasn't there. M says that he really likes S, yet doesn't want to do anything in my presence (because he knows I do/did like her). That REALLY pisses me off. Why are they playing their game behind my back? S is meant to be a really good friend to me, and I barely know M, so why the hell is he planning his moves behind my back, but telling others in the group about it? Do S and M not realise that people talk?

So, I don't know what is getting me annoyed more. I can't figure whether it is the presence of M and his friend M withing our group; whether it is S for the way she treated and talked about me or is it the fact S and M both like eachother? I can't understand why I feel it would be the latter as I feel like I'm getting over S (although can't stand her at the moment because I'm realising what a two faced cow and cheeky bitch she really is), but I get this horrible feeling everytime I think of S and M if they were to get together (which, despite what S said to me, seems imminent).

Really sorry for the length of the post here, but help would be appreciated so much because I don't want to fall out with anyone because I can't figure what is annoying me. There is much more to this story than I have put here, but it would just be too much to put in one go, so I may add stuff in when I reply to others' replies.

Thank you.



It could just be jelousy, that the girl you like likes someone else. I dont think that M and S are talking behind your back; they realise that if they were to ask eachother out right infront of you, that would be like a tease like "I got her, and you didn't. haha" they dont want to make you feel bad, so they talk without you there. I felt the same way when a girl I liked said "I dont like you like that", and I thought she was just a shallow bitch... But I cant get over her, and I still like her.

[byee]

I'm with Jerry on this one: You're feeling rejected, so you're angry with all of them. People typically don't like what they cannot have (especially if they really want it).

Part of the risk of liking someone is that they might not return the favour. Likewise, part of the risk in going out with someone is that it might (probably?) will end at some point. And both of those experiences hurt, there's a sense of loss. People react to that differently, but eventually you get accustomed to it, you realize it's not so personal, and that there's someone else out there waiting for you.

It might be helpful to take some time and space to address that sense of loss and rejection you have, maybe not be so involved with this particular group until you settle this within yourself.