Feeling like im going to crack.

[wavey]

Hiya guys, im 15 and i am doign the duke of edinbrough award (bronze) at school. now last Day walk we did we were made to carry the big bags with a weight in to simulate the total weight. they were around 15kg. i struggled greeastly and had to give it up due to it being to hard. that was 2 weeks ago, since then i have been biking at home and eating a bit more healthy and getiting fitter. now i dont think ive acheived much, now on tuesday i have my first practise camp, which will be full of the kit in the big bags. now i think i am going to fail, and i have put so much effort in, and if i give up or fail during it the after math at school will be awful, now as you can tell jst by reading that i am stressed. so how am i ging to cope with a shcool of kids laughing at me saying im puny adn weak?!

Eh!

the qually route is another month to go after the practise so i can hit the gym at school every day for hours. build final fitness up, but if i fial the practise, i fail it all. also, i have a oppertunity to wait a year and do it next year when i have properly developed and grown in fitness and height. (im 5ft 2inch) nwo i have thought about it and if i did that id get the piss taken outta me due to it. people thinking im weak, i know im not but i am in a way.

Please, gimee sum advice, its too late to do any fitness as ive done all i can (woulda been better at schools ince we have weights and such).

I am getting stressed as an emotion person i am, i know i will break down during the next week if i fail at this. probebly moody for a week or so. then break at school and lamp somebody.. (term : lamp, hit somebody)
i dont want to lose my temper or lose the chance. can anybody advise?

also, you should know that the school i go to is full of people with problems (EBD) (educational behavual difficulties) im the behaving one. although i am not that bad, i mean i have social problems but not retarded or nothing adn the teacher that doe the award approached me and said that the risk of me being to slow and sumbody hitting me is high.. i mean.. the lads are ok except one but i had a fall out with him. hes laid back and such .. i just dont want that to happen or a arguement, the first day will be fine but i will struggle greatly.. the second day is the chance of being hit. especially when the staff are not going to walk with us at some parts.

Please, advise. i am worrying like hell..

(Much appreciated, Chris!)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

First of all I have never been in this situation...but I do know how cruel people can be and how easy it is sometimes to just go off on somebody because your in a bad mood or your having a bad day. Don't ever let people convince you that your not good enough, that your not strong enough. If this is something you really want to do...you have to believe in yourself..If it helps I BELIEVE in YOU. I KNOW you can do it! Sure it's probably going to be really hard but I BELIEVE in YOU. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers! Oh and don't let the stress get to ya too much. I have so much stress I don't know what to do with it all...but you have to find a way to release that stress. I think that will bring you more confidence too when you share your worries and fears with others.

[wavey]

Thanks.

There is no release for my stress. i mean i have nobody to talk to about this i mean, yeah we got sum nice teachers to talk to but it doenst feel right and without a good honest friend its hard ;|

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I am ALWAYS here to talk...
some ways you could possibly relieve stress or just release how your feeling are through listening to music...read a book, draw, write, talk. I have found that writing really works for me. I love drawing too....It just depends on what you like to do...what are your hobbies?

[BuryYourFlame]

the thing you should know about D of E is that you cant fail the hikes (or at least that is what i was told). As long as you get to the end on the same day as the rest of the people do, you should be fine, if this means that your group just needs a few more stops, then they should stick by you and help you, and enjoy the fact that they get a breather.

As for fitness, i know that bike riding is a great way to build up fitness. It also doesn't do as much damage to the knees as running. good luck :)

(edit): whoa, didn't notice that bit...ok...

wow...your teacher acknowledges that you are in danger...but yet refuses to do anything about it...im pretty sure that could be close to a law suit...seriously you should confront your teacher about it...maybe you could walk with them for all of the hike?

[wavey]

theo nly chance of me being hit is that i am slow.

:|

Also. they wont walk at my pace as the staff tell them to. they say u have to walk at the slowest pwersons pace. thanks all.

[byee]

Hiya Chris!

The most important thing here is you willingnes to try, to go out there and compete. I applaud that, I think it's great, and I'm really proud of you for making the committment! And, I think, that's where your empahsis should be, too: Getting out there and trying. Making a committment to something (and seeing it thru!) is just awesome, regardless of the outcome. Sure, it would be great to win or otherwise do 'well', but I really think that's besides the point.

Try to change your persective a bit, the goal is to do this and complete it, not win (the chances are low for that, anyway). Learn form it, try to assess your performance objectively, what went right and not so right, and see if you can then work on it for next time. Self improvement is a life long process.

Bravo, I think it's just great you're doing this. And, i suspect, the reaction you'll get from the other kids won't be as bad as you think.

Let me know how it goes.

Sam

[wavey]

thanks all but now my anxiety is setting back in... after id dont 6 months of CBT ... FucK!!

[byee]

Chris, all that and the anxiety STILL comes back? C'mon.....I thought my response was pretty good, too.

Listen, Just get out there and do your best. That's all you can do, and feel good about it, regardless of how you actually score. It's what's inside that counts, anyway.

*Gives Chris a warm brownie and a smile for luck*

[wavey]

Thanks sam. you do post well. your a good poster ;)

and thanks for the brownie. itll come in handie for energy. and ive been told i can do it next year, which might be the option. idk.. i've packd my bag for it at school and ive been told that theres a lighter one for me if i stuggle greatly or if somebody else does. and they will swap.. hopefully day one will be the hard one and day two be easy

[wavey]

Hey all, just got back from a 18mile hike and 4 hours sleep (rolleyes) omfg. im fucked tbh..

It went well, i thought of all u who supported spec's u sam <3 haha..

Thanks for the support, i hope u read this and feel better about urselves. now i jsut have the qualifyer in another 2 months to do then thats it, ive got the award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So 2 months in the gym, my back is hurting and shoulders so im going to work on upper body rather than lower since the legs were fine until today when it hurt a lil ;) (any workouts for feet?)

[Hyper]

Hmm I remember my last fun day of 4 hours of sleep and having to walk 12 miles around town.. That was this weekend xD

BTW I merged the this and your older thread together, if you have any problems with that let me know..

[wavey]

no probs ;)