Shame

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Has anyone else ever felt shamed after they cut...or even just when they think about cutting? After I think about cutting I feel ashamed that I throught of something like that.

[BeautifulSilence]

Yes. I still feel ashamed that I'm recovering. I hate when someone notices a scar and I can't bring myself to explain them.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Lately my friends have noticed some old scars that have....they are not from cutting...because I have never cut but their from my cat and they are convinced that they are from cutting...It makes me feel ashamed even though I shouldn't be. I feel ashamed just thinking about cutting though. I feel horrible after I think about it because I know there are a lot of people that look up to me and a lot of people watch me...and watch what I do...and everything I say...I just don't want to set a bad example either...but it's not like I really can help what I think

[Reality]

Yeah, I get you. I feel ashamed and also embarrassed I cut. Especially when the cuts and scars get noticed, it's embarrassing to admit you've did them to yourself.. it's the last thing a lot of people expect.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

A lot of people just don't expect it from me...I am a straight A student...I have good friends. I am very involved in my church. I am a Christian...and everyone just thinks that if you are doing well in school or you go to church than your a good person and everything is going well...Well let me tell you being a Christian isn't easy and we struggle just as much as any other person if not harder than the average person. Believing in God gives me hope when I feel like there is none...and to be honest sometimes just a little hope...helps me get through the tough days. Just a question but have you guys told your parents that you have thought about or have cut?

[BuryYourFlame]

yeh, i know what you mean about how nobody really expects us to be like that...as Christians...people sorta have this impression that we are meant to be perfect...but as you said...that isn't the case...

in answer to your question...no i have not told my dad about my cutting...but i have told a friend who's mother is a doctor...i had a talk with her mum and i have decided that it would probably be best for my friends mum to tell my dad...

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I don't know if I can tell my parents at all...I don't really want anyone else to tell my parents either...I think they will just make things worse if they know because they will be paranoid....
not to mention they would probably tell everybody...they don't understand and they don't think I am really serious...but I am

[Beautiful Obsession]

everytime i cut.. i feel ashamed and angry. because i know how long it is before the scar will go, and how long it wil be before i can wear a short t-shirt. it makes me feel really bad about myself bu t i cnt brin myself to quit x

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I felt so ashamed about thinking about cutting and almost following through with it that I had a hard time sitting in church one day because I just felt so ashamed.

[Shattered Soul]

I have that problem too, sometimes. Sometimes i cant bring myself to go to my churches youth group coz im ashamed of what i've done. Bad thing is, I know the people there would be able to help, if i asked for it.:(

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

That is so true...I shouldn't feel ashamed really walking to church but sometimes I am...because I know that what I was thinking about was wrong...and that I should never do it...but it still happened....

What makes it worse is when you don't talk to anyone the whole time your there...So it's almost like you were never there at all.

[Project Delta]

Heya guys, I used to and still do feel ashamed of my scars, but they are fading (except when its cold, my bad circulation causes them to go dark purple on pale skin... not good) so i can sometimes wear short sleeve t-shirts. BUt i still am really angry when i do it. Lucky i havent done it in 2 months

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

That's good I am proud of you for not doing it for 2 monthes! I know how hard it is to stop. I feel ahamed when I talk about it with people but I know that it is necessary.

[DinoRAWR]

I feel ashamed when I get the urge, like i'm sitting battling with myself not to. then I do and I feel good for a little while and then feel ashamed again when I look at the new cuts, like im a terrible person.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I feel ashamed when I get the urge too

[cool person]

Yeah, I always feel bad before and after I cut. I generally fight the urge as long as I can, several hours or days..and occaisonally I succeed, but it means days of feeling like shit, and freaking out, and not sleeping, and minor self harm (hitting, biting etc)...
When I do cut, I always feel really bad about it and promise that it will be the last time. But of course it never is. I'm not a "serial" cutter, I can go weeks without cutting, it all depends on how things are going.

Really people no need to feel ashemed when you go to church, G!d understand why you are cutting.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Sure God understands I'm sure but it hurts Him to see you hurt yourself like that....that's why I feel so ashamed when I show up to church because I know that this is not how God meant for my life to be.

[cool person]

Sure God understands I'm sure but it hurts Him to see you hurt yourself like that....that's why I feel so ashamed when I show up to church because I know that this is not how God meant for my life to be.

It is my humble opinion that we are all here on earth for a reason, everyone has work to do, after all, what really would be the point of the world, if everyone was an angel? G!d loves you, and everyone else, unconditionally, he knows that we aren't perfect...

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

sometimes when all you can think about is your problems....it's hard to see your purpose in life. For me going through grief left me in a complete fog and to me life seemed to have no purpose at the moment.

[cool person]

Yeah :( I think everyone, especially those of us on this forum, lose sight of that from time to time.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I was saying to someone the other day that I feel like I have no purpose in life...like I should just give up...

[cool person]

Well, even if you feel like that now, just try to be with that not knowing, some purpose will emerge. Not always nothing isn't always a bad thing

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

You know what this person said to me? She told me that she believes in me, she believes that I have the potential to overcome such great obstacles and she said that she believes God has a really special purpose for me.

[cool person]

I and many others (I'm sure) agree
I belieive that you have the power to overcome what ever problems you encounter :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I'm not so sure....

[cool person]

Before I forget, how did last night go? I'm sorry for leaving you, I was just falling asleep at my desk :(

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Well I made it through the night...I ended up talking until like 5:30 in the morning...and I had to wake up at 9:45 so...I only got a couple hours of sleep....

[cool person]

Yay! I new you could do it!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I came pretty close to doing it again this morning...but I held out then too...I hope tonight is better...