Heidi's Poems

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

The THOUGHT crossed my mind,
A few too many times,
Each time I get closer,
Closer to losing my mind,
Closer to giving in,
To the THOUGHT,
That now consumes my mind,
I know it is not right,
And it's something I should not do,
But the temptation gets harder to fight,
It would be so easy just to do,
To release the pain I feel,
But I know it is not healthy,
And it would not only hurt me but you,
But just because I know it's wrong,
Doesn't kee the THOUGHT,
From crossing my mind,
From time to time,
When the pain gets to be too much,
The THOUGHT creeps in,
And once again,
I feel ashamed,
For thinking,
The THOUGHT,
I so desperately try to hide,
But you can see it in my eyes,
You can see that the pain that I feel,
Is real,
That you can not deny,
Sometimes all I need,
Is someone to tell me,
One reason why,
Why I should not give in,
To the THOUGHT,
That I try to hide,
Sometimes all I need,
Is someone to just accept me for I ,
For who I am inside,
Sometimes all I need,
Is just an encouraging word or two,
Or just someone to hold me true,
Even though the THOUGHT does not stop,
It helps me,
Stay focused,
And not give in,
To the THOUGHT.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

A thousand dreams,
And a many a suns ago,
There was a girl,
Filled with smiles and laughter,
No one could deny,
Seeing Jesus in her eyes,
But when sorrow and pain,
Striked her life,
It beame harder and harder,
To reflect the light,
But God gave her,
The strength to make it through,
And even though she still faces pain,
Her light continues to shine,
And no one can deny,
That she has Jesus in her Eyes.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I thought you were my friend,
Now I am not sure where you stand,
Or how I feel,
I'm not sure I even understand,
What has come between us,
All I know,
Is something has changed,
And we are not the same.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

You walk around,
In a fog,
unaware of what's going on,
All around you,
All you see is a blur,
You feel nothing,
You remain unseen,
Unheard,
Far from the world,
And life,
It seems,
Is no different than the day before.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

An endless night,
Spent in thoughts,
Hopes,
And dreams,
Is far better off,
Than a night,
Spent in nightmares,
Cries,
And screams.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

They gave me a vacation,
But is it really a vacation,
When the thoughts do not end,
The pain does not stop,
When rest does not Come?
Is a vacation not enough anymore,
To find rest,
To find peace,
To release that inner joy?

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

When I raise my hands,
God reaches down from Heaven,
And holds my hands tight,
He lets me know that everythings going to be alright,
Even when the sky is dark,
And all hope seems to be gone,
God picks you up and dusts you off,
And there you stand strong.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

When the sun shines bright,
And you think it can not possibly shine any brighter,
When the heat strikes,
And you think that it could not possibly be any hotter,
Your world seems to shine all the brighter and hotter than before.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Which Bridge do I cross?
Which Bridge do I burn?
It all comes down,
To a choice that must be made,
The outcome is uncertain,
Until the choice has been made,
And then it's too late,
To take back any decision that you made.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

A sweet gentle breeze,
Blows through the palm trees,
The salty water,
Touches my lips,
As the waves crash,
Along the shore,
I only wish,
To see the ocean once more.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

If we walked a thousand miles,
In each others shoes,
What would be seen,
Through the other's eyes?
With each step you took,
Would you wonder,
Where they led to,
What their purpose was?
A journey in each other's shoes,
Can only be taken,
Out of love.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

There are things,
That I never got to tell you,
Things I wanted to say,
But I never got the chance to,
It was too hard to face you,
Too hard to see you in pain,
Knowing that nothing I said or did,
Could help ease the pain,
I wanted to tell you,
How much you changed my life,
How you brought Jesus to my Heart,
How great a friend you were,
Even amid all your troubles,
I wanted to tell you,
That you had a great Heart,
A strong faith,
One that I admired,
I wanted to tell you,
That I loved you,
With all of my Heart.
~Dedicated to my Aunt Joy

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Remember when,
You used to hold me in your arms,
And tell me that you loved me?
Remember when,
I used to draw you pretty pictures,
That were really only scribbles,
They were pictures only a family could be proud of,
Remember when,
We used to sing songs,
Together,
And all else seemed to fade away?
Remember,
All the things,
I used to do and say,
The things that made you laugh,
That brought about a smile,
One that could not fade away.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

During my darkest days,
Through every tear that fell,
You never gave up,
That's how I could tell,
That you cared,
Enough to stand by my side,
Through every tear that I cried,
Through the good and the bad,
You stay strong,
To help me carry on,
Through my darkest of days.
You could have given up on me,
Yet you didn't,
By sticking with me,
Through the fight,
I have seen Jesus,
My light,
In the ever dark night.
~ Dedicated to Tadd and Krista...my youth leaders!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

In my head,
You play the sweetest,
Softest,
Melody,
Over and Over again,
You play for me.
This lullaby,
I can't deny,
Ever so sweet,
Almost makes me cry,
With every note that goes by,
I find myself wishing,
That I was there by your side.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Respect I give,
but never seem to get,
Respect I value,
But others don't care,
But they don't understand,
That a relationship,
Is only good,
If respect works both ways.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

They said in time you'll heal,
That you'll no longer feel,
That emptiness,
That pain inside,
But time has passed,
And I still feel,
The emptiness inside,
In time you'll heal,
Will I?

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

My heart is still broken,
But the wounds are beginning to heal,
Slowly but surely,
The pain will lessen,
And I will heal,
And soon be able to feel,
All numbness will fade away,
As my skies turn form dark gray,
To a bright and beautiful, shining new day,
Bringing joy to my life,
In every way.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I know the hurt,
The pain,
Oh so well,
When it starts,
And when it stops,
I can never tell,
They say things get better,
And hurt less over time,
But is this the truth?
Or is this a lie?
Is this just something they say,
So that you don't cry?

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Inside my heart,
You will see,
Love,
Patience,
Kindness,
Brokeness,
Compassion,
Mercy,
Sin,
You will see,
A girl who's hurting.
A girl who's waiting.
To just be,
Whe she was meant to be.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

You never thought,
That losing someone,
You held so dear,
So near,
Could hurt so much,
Yet be so great,
You certainly would not expect,
That good would come of bad,
But it does,
For even in death,
There comes life.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

You stay strong,
When all is going wrong,
When your world is falling apart,
You stay strong,
So others don't have to,
You stay strong,
When all you really want,
Is to let it all out,
But you don't want to face,
The pain inside,
You don't want others,
To see the pain inside,
So you stay strong,
To hide the pain inside.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

An aweful disease,
That overtakes the body,
That kills innocent people,
Of every shape and size,
The question is,
Will you defeat it,
Or will it defeat you?

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

The sun shines bright,
And brings a smile to my face,
I sit there,
For a moment,
And take it all in,
And I think,
Of how wonderful,
Is God's amazing grace.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

When I grow weary,
And I am not able to stand,
There you are,
Waiting to hold my hand,
No matter what,
I say or do,
Nothing's going to stop me,
From loving You!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Unconditional love,
Unspeakable grace,
Undescribeable miracles,
Uncontainable power,
Unbelieveable forgiveness,
Unfathomable Joy,
Unexpected comfort,
A God that is undconditional.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I sit there in the car,waiting. Waiting anxiously to reach our destination. We arrive at the hospital. A million thoughts race through my mind.
" How will she look?"
"Will she make it out of this alive?"
"Or will this battle that she's fighting overtake her?"
" Is she in lots of pain?"
" Are my prayers working?"
We walk through the hospital and we reach the door. The door that I didn't want to open for I was afraid of what I would see, of what I would hear.
I cautiously opened the door. My family following closely behind. I step into the room. There I stood scared to death of what I might see. I stood there and looked into her eyes and there I saw a girl, not much older than me, filled with fear, that death might come sooner than she had thought. I said hello and I told her that I loved her so. So much more than she could ever know. I told her not to fear for God would take care of her. For awhile the time seemed to stand still like we were in our own little world. She was weak and barely hanging on. A tear rolled down my face. I had tried to be so strong. I had tried to hold the tears back, but the thought of losing her made me very very sad. I didn't understand why God was letting her suffer so. Many of nights I spent praying to God that He would heal her so, but week after week she continued to deteriorate. She rubbed my arm and told me that this was God's plan. That everything would turn out for the best. Then the nurse came in and told her that she needed to rest. So I hugged her goodbye and said don't you cry...because God will sing you a lullaby! I walked out of that room and in the hallway I fell apart. We went home and about 2 weeks later we got the call that she died peacefully at home and that she had not been afraid. I knew she was in a better place, but the thought that she is here no more breaks my heart into a million pieces. I cry again and again. Never the same will I be.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I walked through the old 100 year old farm house that I had comed to know and love. I came to the bedroom door of my aunt's bedroom, where she was sitting on the bed. Growing weaker and weaker with the minutes she asked me to come and sit on the bed with her. The thoughts ran through my mind as I walked towards her bed.
" What is she going to say?"
" Why me?"
" Why does she only want to talk to me?"
I reach her bed and sit down, the thoughts still racing in my head. She begins to talk.
" Heidi, I'm not going to make it."
The tears begin to fall. She looks me in the eyes and says:
" I love you. I'm going to a better place. A place where I will no longer be in pain. A place where there are no more tears. I'll get to see Jesus."
" I'll love you forever and I'll always be with you."
Then she hugged me. I didn't want to let go. We sat there holding each other and crying and for a moment time stood still. The next week she was gone. Always will I remember the last hug.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I dare you to love someone,
Like never before,
I dare you to give,
Until you can't give no more,
I dare you to share,
The name of Jesus Christ,
With everyone you meet,
I dare you to dream,
I dare you to believe,
I dare you to never lose hope,
I deare you to never give up,
I dare you to do what Jesus did.
DARE!!!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

He conquered death,
So that I could have life,
And be free from all worry and strife,
He conquered death,
Because he loved me so,
So much more than I could even know.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I may seem happy and worry free,
but that is only one side of me.
The side of me that hides away,
Smiles not and is trapped away.
The sadness and fears no one sees,
What they see is only memories,
Of what used to be.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

From fall to winter,
Spring to summer,
God shows his beauty,
Nature changes,
Seasons come and go,
People change,
But God will remain the same,
No matter where we go!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I feel like I am alone,
Caught in the middle,
Of a battle that is not mine to fight,
To win or lose,

I feel lost,
Like a sheep in a desert,
I am afraid,
Each day brings a new experience,
Not knowing if it's good or bad
I hide, I hope, and I trust that God.....
Will get me through this.

I cry myself to sleep,
Thinking about you,
I wish it were so simple,
That I could just take the pain away,
But God has other plans,
Better plans,
Plans to make you new.

With each new day that God brings,
My heart sings a melody,
For I will believe,
I will dream,
I will inspire and be inspired,
And when I pray....
God will answer,
And he will bring me strength,
Courage, Wisdom, Comfort,
Happiness, and tears

For I am never truely alone,
God is always there,
God will always love me,
God will take care of his children,

Even as I face the challenge,
Of a new day,
God will be there,
Guiding me,

May God open my eyes,
So that I may see,
The opportunities and what God
Has in store for me.

[ThatDude93]

sounds great...I'm glad too see another Christian on VT

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Thanks! A lot of my poems have to do with God...I posted a lot tonight..

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

For a moment...
My troubles and pain disappear.
Love and Comfort take away my fear.
A smile begins to return,
Because of someone who...
Went the extra mile,
Gave me a Smile
And never gave up on me even during my trials!

[ThatDude93]

I'll probably check them out sometime....no tonight though...I am busy

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

God is holding me in his hands tonight,
I cry out to him in the silence,
My heart is broken,
And as I cry out to God,
The words that I speak,
The thoughts that I think,
The pain that I feel,
Becomes so real.

Amidst the pain,
Among the darkness,
I hear a voice,
Calling out to me,
"Here I am, Child"
"I have heard your prayers,"
Says the voice up above.

I sit there crying,
In the darkness,
My Heavenly Father,
Reaches out his hands,
And he wraps them tightly around me,
And holds me close.

"You are my child,
Says the voice up above.
I will comfort you and make you strong,
You will smile again my child,
For your life will not be a storm forever."

And as I sit here in his arms tonight,
I am at rest,
I trust that he will bring me through this,
For great is his love,
That he would love the broken.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

oh that's fine. I like your picture by your name...that;s funny.

[ThatDude93]

thanks I like yours too

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Mines not that interesting...I just picked it because I liked to write.

[ThatDude93]

Mine is just something stupid and funny...lol yours is cool.....its unique

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

wow I didn't think so but okay...lol

[ThatDude93]

lol so what do you think of CF( Christian Forums...the one i sent you the link too)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I thought it looked like a good website. It looks like there is a lot to post on... I will probably join tonight.I just didn't have time yesterday.

[BeautifulSilence]

Heidi, I have merged your threads from last night into one. You might want to avoid posting 35 individual threads in one night.

Also, if you guys want to talk please do it via PM.

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Ok sounds good...sorry about that...lol...I'm still trying to learn this website yet...I post on like 3 different forums so it's kind of hard to get used to them all..

[ThatDude93]

wow you collected a lot of posts in 2 days...anyway I hope to see you on CF soon

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Yeah I have done a lot of posts in the last 2 days. I want to get a diary started...and I have had a lot of spare time the last two days plus I love to write!

[ThatDude93]

I can tell!

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

My poems are a way for me to let my feelings out...a way for me to express myself. Writing helps me share my experiences with others and it helps me connect to other people.

[ThatDude93]

Your writings seem to be very good from what I have read. :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Thanks! I really want to write a book someday...and there is so much I want to write about...I seriously could write everyday for a year all day long and I would probably still not run out of things to write.

[ThatDude93]

I'd read it

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

awwww...sweet....I know a lot of people who would read it...my whole church would probably read it...lol...

[ThatDude93]

yeah, it might be an international bestseller

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

you really think so? I have always dreamed of writing a best seller..man I better get started on a book here pretty quick...lol...it will probably take me a long time to write. My pastor wants an autographed copy if I write a book...lol...it's pretty funny...I drew him this cool picture of donald duck and he made me sign it because he thinks that one day I might be famous and then he could say "I know her!" lol

[ThatDude93]

sure why not...anybody do do something great if given the opportunity, if you are given the opportunity work hard for your goal. You might have to hunt down that opportunity though. Especially if you live kind of off the beaten path....like me...lol

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

yeah...I try and get into writing contests and stuff...it fun...It would be cool to write for a magazine or something someday too. My dream is just to write really...

[Triceratops]

Heidi, these poems are fantastic!
Good job. :)

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Thanks!