How do I talk to this girl without feeling like a creep?

[Diadora]

Obviously, there is a girl I like. We'll talk on facebook a lot, *if she gets on, but when she is on a weekend or something, we'll talk for like 2 hours or so", and when I'm around her I'll talk a little bit, but mostly to the group as a whole, and she'll laugh with the whole group, I usually don't say much to her outside of internet or the odd text message conversation we will get into. Before I ask her out or anything I figure I should get to be her friend and talk to her more often, as I would feel weird just asking that, and I feel it would be awkward for both of us. So, I guess one question is, for the girls, would it creep you out if some guy you don't talk to very often started to text you more often to try and get you to talk, would it give you ideas that he is into you?*I don't want to give her that idea yet* She is also always hanging out with her group of other friends *I talk to them sometimes* and I just feel like if I barged into that it would be weird. I just have this thought in my mind that it would be weird for me to try and talk to her without everyone being like "Oh, so and so is after ___, did you hear" and possibly find the idea amusing.

[IAMWILL]

Well, considering you have a thorough understanding of the situation, I'll keep this short.

One thing about building up a relationship is going very slowly. For you, just try flirting a little more, talking a little longer, and build and build that friendship! Trust is key here! Be confident though, don't be a suck up (girls hate that). When you feel the time is right, and it seems as though she likes you, go ahead and ask! If all goes well, this sounds like the start of a great relationship.

[byee]

(The IAM Tribe is on this one!)

Yeah, I agree with my bud Will (but of course!).

I think you already have a relationship with her if you're talking on facebook and all. What you want to do now is just continue the convo real time, be as comfortable and casual with her as you are on facebook. If anything, it would seem odd that you're not.

I agree with you to take it slow, and the next step here is to add to your relationship by talking with her. Remember, your anxiety (that dreaded guy 'fear of rejection' stuff) is not visible to her, she only knows you as that cool guy from facebook. Show her that side, and you'll be OK.

Good luck!

[AllThatIsLeft]

Girl advise anyone?

The key to staying on the neutral side, meaning getting to know without making it seem you like her yet is to talk to her normally, and not follow on her every word.

See if there is one thing that is both annoying and creepy is when a guy just agrees with everything you say as if they don't have a mind of their own.
Starting random conversations about anything is good to get the friendship going.

Also make them short and sweet, it leaves a lingering feeling for her to want to talk to you more. Avoid awkward silences, that means if you feel like something is dying, don't try to revive it, say something witty and then make your leave.

people might start to talk, the point there is to have the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes pay attention to her, and sometimes ignore her. Then it won't be a sure thing that you like her.

Girls hate being ignored when they think someone likes them, and that is good for you !
she might start making her own moves to get you.

Hope that Helps a Bit =]]

[AutumnDae]

Obviously, there is a girl I like. We'll talk on facebook a lot, *if she gets on, but when she is on a weekend or something, we'll talk for like 2 hours or so", and when I'm around her I'll talk a little bit, but mostly to the group as a whole, and she'll laugh with the whole group, I usually don't say much to her outside of internet or the odd text message conversation we will get into. Before I ask her out or anything I figure I should get to be her friend and talk to her more often, as I would feel weird just asking that, and I feel it would be awkward for both of us. So, I guess one question is, for the girls, would it creep you out if some guy you don't talk to very often started to text you more often to try and get you to talk, would it give you ideas that he is into you?*I don't want to give her that idea yet* She is also always hanging out with her group of other friends *I talk to them sometimes* and I just feel like if I barged into that it would be weird. I just have this thought in my mind that it would be weird for me to try and talk to her without everyone being like "Oh, so and so is after ___, did you hear" and possibly find the idea amusing.

Ooh! Another girl here!

If she's willingly talking to you on Facebook, and texting one another, then obviously you two have a friendship going on here. I know, myself, I don't text people if I don't want to get to know them and hold a conversation with them.

But, for your question, it might give the subtle hint that he is interested, but if you keep it strictly friendly and not flirty during these conversations, then I would get the idea that we are just friends.

As for the everyone else talking, I hate that. I think most people do. But if you guys are in a group of friends talking, if you just casually join in and go along with the conversation, then it shouldn't be weird. Just walk up and say 'Hi' and then start talking with them. Don't try and make it seem weird. If you're casual, nobody will care I bet.

[Diadora]

Alright, thank you for the help you've posted above. To try to follow through the "Just casually talk" part, I have another question.

When there is something going on, I usually try to get a conversation going about that, and we go for a little, but, after that has died out, I'm not exactly sure what to say. Just wondering if I could get some advice on what I could try to talk about with her. Any help is appreciated :)

Also, I probably should have mentioned this from the start, but she will not be going to my school next year, which makes me really sad. I don't think I will be able to get to the level of being comfortable enough to ask her out by then, and am unsure of what to do. Should I even bother due to that, or just keep following my gut/your advice?

[AutumnDae]

Alright, thank you for the help you've posted above. To try to follow through the "Just casually talk" part, I have another question.

When there is something going on, I usually try to get a conversation going about that, and we go for a little, but, after that has died out, I'm not exactly sure what to say. Just wondering if I could get some advice on what I could try to talk about with her. Any help is appreciated :)

Suuuure you can get some advice!

When I am holding a conversation with someone, and it kind of....dies off from a topic, just ask her about something that you know she is interested in. That way she can talk about something, and maybe you can learn something more about that subject too!

[IAMWILL]

Oooorrrrr adding on you could just say "oh well I better get to class" or "I should probably go home, I have to meet up with my dad" or something so you can just say goodbye in a calm, relaxed way.

As for her not going to your school next year, sometimes that's better! People need their time alone when they're in a relationship, and you don't want to put pressure on her, so it might be better for you two. As long as you still talk, and see each other every so often, it is perfectly fine.

[Diadora]

Thank you guys very much. The whole situation still makes my head spin a little when I think to hard about it, but I really liked your advice, and I hope it helps me eventually ask the question. Once again, just want to say thanks for you guys taking your time to help :)

[IAMWILL]

No problemo, anytime :)

[AutumnDae]

Oh! I didn't see that you added the part about school!

Well, some say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" I think.....Anyways, having a relationship where your partner doesn't go to the same school can be a good or bad thing. I've personally been through one, and I know many people that have as well. It means that the time you get to spend together is extra special, but it also means you have to have more trust in your partner, and you won't get to see them as much as you would probably like. But, if you are determined you CAN make it work.

And, no. I don't think you're wasting your time. Even if you decide it's not a great idea to ask her out, I bet you will end up with a good friend. And who doesn't want some more of those?