Why my boyfriend's mad at me.

[RaeNose]

"I'm mad at you. Why can't you stop cutting? It makes me want to cut. If it's so good that you can't stop then i must be missing something. If i told you that i.d leave forever if you cut again, you'd want to cut more and you'd do it. I must be missing something. I should try it. Maybe even go farther....."

His words, not mine. That was a copy and paste.

[Aηdy]

That's really not the attitude he should have. He really should be supporting you through this. I think you should talk to him about it. If he's still not happy then you should consider whether he is right for you or not hun. Being with a guy like that is only going to make you worse.

[RaeNose]

I'm talking to him right now. I think he gets that he's not being the most supportive person. I guess it doesn't help that he's suffering from depression, is it? :\

[Aηdy]

It's no excuse to have a go at you though. You need to support each other. IF he's not going to help you then it's not fair if you're just helping him.

[RaeNose]

I know. God, stupid jerk is threatening to start cutting. He's being such an asshole right now.

... oh wonderful... suicide attempt. Like I predicted. Don't you just love my life?

[RaeNose]

K. Update.
I'm getting him to calm down. I think I'm going to go over there, now.

[Sapphire]

Sorry that you are having to put up with this. Tbh, if he is being like this then he doesn't seem worth it.

You deserve to be in a loving relationship with someone who will work to understand you and support you through your road to recovery. You deserve to be listened to and made to feel loved and valued.
You don't deserve to be put in a position like this where he is being selfish, insensitive and resorting to emotional blackmail.

How are you holding up?

[RaeNose]

Hey!!! I finally figured out what TBH means.
He'll probably be fine tomorrow. He says he's not going to talk to me tomorrow. Hah, let's see how well that holds up. He's acting like such a child.

If he keeps this up, then I really think that this will be the end of our relationship for now. Although, I can't really judge until he goes back to see his counselor.

This will most likely blow over after he's calmed down and had some sleep. If it doesn't, then I may have to break up with him for the 4th time for as long as I need to.

As for me, I'm fine, I guess.

[Beautiful Obsession]

well hes not being supportiv and he cant give you the ultimatum to choose.. him or cutting, bcuz cuttings not easy to quit and it doesnt stop ovr night, yu need to explain that to him, if he's treatin you like this then he obv doesnt care about you wat so eva. Sorry to say it bbe but if he cared he would be helpiin you x

[AutumnDae]

I don't think he should have said the words he did, but here is what I think he was trying to say. (Or what I hope he was trying to say.)

When two people care about one another, it hurts them to see their significant other hurting themselves. And maybe on the inside he's hurting, and worried about you. Maybe he doesn't want to say that because he will feel less 'tough' or less 'macho' or less 'cool' When he said "It makes me want to cut." He's telling you its making him upset. Seeing his significant other upset is making him feel bad as well.

His choice of words was definitely not the best. But I'm guessing what he was trying to say is that you hurting yourself is making him hurt as well.

[HPstoner]

Hate to stick up for the bad guy but...

My ex-girlfriend used to cut and I found it extremely hard on me. Like I felt like If I did anything wrong then she would cut or worse. Basically I'm just trying to say see it from his point of view before you start saying things like "he's not worth it". It's hard to be supportive of something you don't really approve of or understand.

[RaeNose]

I finally got him to calm down and listen to reason.
I'm telling you, it's not always fun having a manic depressive boyfriend; however, I love him.
That was the first time he's had an out lash at me in months. He's actually been doing really well. It's been really hard, though, with both of us needing counseling.
We've had really tough times. Though, when I know that without me, Sam would've killed himself and I really don't know where I'd be right now.
This is just the first time that he's attacked my cutting. I mean, I've known that he's been upset, but I didn't know how much this really upset him.
He knows that I need him (to quote him), "...but I just don't know what to do anymore."
Anyways, thanks for the support through last night. Without you guys, I wouldn't have been able to help Sam through this with a level head.

[theOperaGhost]

I'm glad to hear he's alright. It is a very good thing that he has you in his life and you have him in your life. You both can help each other stop self harming hopefully.

[RaeNose]

He doesn't self harm though... I know it sounded like that, but the one time he tried to, he couldn't break the skin with his pocket knife, was all, "wtf?" Then he closed it and accidentally slit open his thumb. Hasn't tried it since because he thought it was stupid (lqtm).

I'm really glad I didn't lose him this time. It's been easier to deal with, since I've gotten to know him for over a year or so now; however, it still really hurts and I really worry that he is going to attempt something that one time.
That's why I stay, not just because he means the world to me, but because (no matter what he thinks) there would be this empty void in the world where one less Sam, one less friend, one less person would be. That's just the way that death seems to hit me: life is never the same because you never get to see that person's face ever again.

[theOperaGhost]

Oh, ok, that was a small misunderstanding. I thought he also SHed. It doesn't really make too much of a difference though, he is still suicidal. You can help him with that and he can help you overcome SH.

[RaeNose]

Let's hope, right? :)