Hey, im new.

[Char_x]

Heya everyone, im Char and im 18 years old.
Just thought i'd join cos i self harm and i dont really have no one to talk to or no one that understands. I go through fazes where i can go ages without doing it and then i go through fazes like now where its always on my mind and i really badly want to do it :(.

[Aηdy]

You've come to the right place then, there are many people here who will be willing to talk to you and help you as much as possible :) Welcome to VT. I'm Andy. Nice to see another brit on the site ;)

[Char_x]

Hey Ziggy :).
Thanks for that. Will be nice to be able to talk to people that understand cos i've been to a councellor twice and that didnt help at all, a few close people i know including my mum knows but i cant talk to them cos they just dont understand :(.

Im finding it so hard right now cos my boyfriend thinks i've stopped SH,which i havnt but i've always been good at hiding the cuts well but now its at a point where i cant hide them no more cos im running out of places to do it. If i do it again my boyfriend said he'd dump me which is really gutting and im trying so hard not to do it cos i think it really aint worth losing my boyfriend over it but at times like now its hard not to :-(. I really wanna cut, i dno what to do :(. Has anyone else been in this situatuon?

[Destiny&Desire]

Heyy, welcome to VT *waves*

All of us here know how difficult it is when it feels like no-one understands, but we're all in the same boat here. If you ever wanna message me, or anyone else here on VT for help (or even just a general chat), we're here for you =]

What your boyfriend is saying makes sense, in the sense that you don't want to lose him over it, but he shouldn't be using your own problem against you like that. Have you tried discussing with him how difficult it is to stop, and that you need his support? He might not understand the complexity of the situation.

If you want to try and stop SH-ing, there are tons of things you can do to beat the urges (on this website here http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=60 ), which will just take your mind off the need to do it, even if it's only for a short while.

Hope this helps and, once again, welcome to VT =]
x x x

[RaeNose]

Aw, hun.
Hi!
I know how hard it is when your bf can be difficult while you're trying to stop. (Trust me, almost everyone on here knows of my rants.)
However, if he really cares about you, then if you tell him (instead of him finding out on his own), he won't leave you. By the way, it helps if you tell him how much you're hurting, how much you didn't want him to leave because you really need him to be here for you, and how much you care about him and love him. Then, start to tear up. The whole process should happen naturally, seeing as you don't want him to leave. And he should either fall into your hands, hug you, and want to protect you, or be a stupid jerk face and say crap like, "I can't believe you lied to me. I never want to see you again." And hun, if he's going act like the second one, you just talk to me, k? However, most of the time, he falls into the first reaction. I've used it before many times (unintentionally, I just realized what I did every single time about a few minutes ago when I said to myself, "What would I do in her place?") and it's worked. Of course, it may have to do with how long we've been together: a year and four months on Easter Sunday. However, it never hurts to confess to him, since you need support and you're running out of places to hide your cuts.
I hope you find help and get better, hun. :)

[Shattered Soul]

Hi, I'm Cathy, im 18 aswell and new to this site (registered today). I self harm aswell, and it's really difficult to admit that and write those words. I stopped doing it for 2 months but started again last week. I told my mum about it after i managed to quit for the first time but she doesnt understand, she hasn't told anyone (surprisingly, but im glad) but refuses to talk about it when I need to. I have told 2 of my friends but they dont understand.

This is the second time i've started again after i thought i quit, and I feel i can't get support anywhere I turn. Help...please...
xx
ps. I'm sorry if i've butt into this threat, i'm afraid of starting my own. I suffer from social anxiety and posting (anywhere, even if it's not my own thread) is a really big step for me

[Dark Angel 26]

Hiya! Welcome to VT! :bye:
You've definitely come to the right place. Everybody's really helpful and friendly on here. If you ever fancy a chat, PM me sometime.
xx

[Shattered Soul]

thank you :) I just don't understand why, of all the coping mechanisms out there, do I choose this one. It's incredibly frustrating, and I feel really really ashamed of myself whenever I cut myself. Everyone thinks i'm a strong person but even the slightest argument can set me off - im really sensitive.

This is really getting me down, guys.
xx

[RaeNose]

Aw, hun, You're not alone. Arguments really set me off, too. Currently, I'm trying to figure out a way to cope with the anger. If figure out a really good one, I'll let you know. Patrick says to gnaw on your pillow... I'm kind of iffy about that one. Punching definitely helps though. The pillow, not a wall or anything hard or any of your siblings.
...trust me, after being the oldest of four, I would know. :)
If I get any really good ones, I'll PM you, k?

[Shattered Soul]

thank you:) I never knew there could be so many caring, understanding people in one place. People tend not to understand me, and tell me they dont. It's made me feel so alone in the world. Everythings just so difficult. I self harm when i'm angry coz i would never intentionally harm anyone else, so it just builds up and i turn my anger on myself instead.
xx

[RaeNose]

Yep, exactly. It's really weird, I never thought that I'd find understanding people either, but here I am and here we are. You know? Plus, there's always at least one person on here to talk to. It's nice. :)

[Shattered Soul]

I agree, I suppose coz of different timezones, there's almost always gonna be someone else here to help.
It's worrying though that since s/h is a something that occurs in almost every part of the world, that it's still an almost taboo subject. Often only recognised in a prejudice, stereotypical way - which doesn't help anyone. Kind of sad, really.

[RaeNose]

Yeah. It affects, like, 1 in 5 people... but no one talks about it. However, it doesn't help if all we do is hide it, you know?
So, I'm wondering: does no one talk about it because SIers always hide it, or do we hide it because it's considered taboo and no one talks about it?

[Shattered Soul]

Yeah, not hiding it could eventually lead to acceptance in the world. I think both answers to that question are interlinked, in many cases of SI. It's a vicious circle: No one talks about it, so we feel the need to hide it which leads to people not wanting to talk about it to an even worse extent which leads to us wanting to hide it even more.
(Sorry, that was probably poorly explained.)
It doesn't help that an SI is usually portrayed as the stereotypical moody "emo" teen who uses it as a fashion statement. News reporters, other teens ect should look into SI properly before passing judgements such as that, as it obv hinders rather than helps.

xxCathyxx

[RaeNose]

Doesn't help that my own sister called me an emo cutter, too. lol. :) Although, I've learned (through this, no less) that not only are stereotypes a thought of the general public to the general minority, but that people don't like stereotypes. Even if there is a ring of truth to them. We just have to fight through them if they aren't true for an individual.

[NightFighter]

Heya,
Im new on here too! I would have opened up a new thread but seeing as theres this one i thought id introduce myself here instead if thats ok :D
Well, im Sarah, 16, and have cut for nearly 2 years now.
But... i've been s.h free for almost 5 weeks now :D :D :D

[Shattered Soul]

that's brilliant, Sarah:D Well done! I've been at it for just over a year, stopped in January, then started again last week:(
Everyone's really helpful here:)

[NightFighter]

Thanks :D

Aww man :( , please be strong and resist temptation.
Heck, if i can do it ANYONE can :D

Yeah, ive been looking around the site and i dont usually get accounts or anything (scared people wont like me:()but everyone here seems so kind and understanding.... i kinda wanted to join in :) lol

[RaeNose]

Well, welcome.
We pretty much all are easy going and happy to help. That is, with the exclusion of some little tussles here and there. ;)
Anyway, I hope you get to know some people on here that can really help. If you want to get to know me, then you can certainly PM me. :)

[NightFighter]

Aww thank you :)
Im already pretty much addicted to this site already ..... *sigh* i'll be bombarding every thread with my comments lol

[RaeNose]

Yep, that's how it happens.
I've only been on here a month or so, and I'm already a member.
Of course, I also comment on a lot of people's blogs. lol.

[Reality]

This site actually seems pretty cool. lol.

[ebony15]

hey welcome to the forum.. :)

[NightFighter]

Wow, VT is pretty popular!
Theres so many new people joined recently.
:) Its nice to see the site aint dead.

[Shattered Soul]

Yeah, i'm glad it isn't dead. I think people can really find help here:)

[jess_undead]

Heyy :)
I'm Jess & I'm 15, nearly 16.
I thought I'd introduce myself.
I have been cutting for the past two years and I decided that I need help. I'm really knuckling down to stop this, and I figured a place where everyone else does this would be able to help maybe. You probably have the same problems as me. So...yeh, hey. Please talk to me or whatever. I'd like to make new friends and stuff. Feel free to add me on msn; [email protected]

xx

[Shattered Soul]

:) that's exactly the reason i'm here.

[RaeNose]

Wow, there are a lot of new members.
I'm so glad that so many people are fighting this addiction.
:D

[Char_x]

thank you:) I never knew there could be so many caring, understanding people in one place. People tend not to understand me, and tell me they dont. It's made me feel so alone in the world. Everythings just so difficult. I self harm when i'm angry coz i would never intentionally harm anyone else, so it just builds up and i turn my anger on myself instead.
xx
I just thought i'd say hi to you cos your the same age as me and from what you've said i feel like i can totally understand you cos you said that the slightest argument upsets you and stuff. Well thats like me tbh, i get upset so easily. Its really annoyin for me tho cos sometimes i'l feel like crying over the littlest thing but depending on who im around i rly badly try to stop myself. Also i like you sh myself because it stops me hurting others. Like sometimes my sister can wind me up sooo much and i really feel like lashing out at her but its just not in my nature to hurt her or anyone else that annoys me so i just take it out on myself to just get that release rly.

Anyways thanks everyone else for the advice, i havnt been able to get on here for about 2 weeks cos i've been on holiday so just thought i'd say thanks now lol :)