Is it worth coming out?

[Joe3140]

I'm 17, a junior in high school. I have a lot of good friends. I'd say I'm pretty popular and doing very well socially. Over the past year or so I've been slowly accepting the possibility that I might be gay.
I want to know if it is worth coming out to one of my best friends. I won't have to live a lie and pretend I'm straight. On the other hand it could lead to the end of a friendship, as I imagine it would be kind of awkward for us both. Is it worth possibly isolating myself from one or more of my friends to come out? What were some of your social impacts when you came out?

Also, when I think about coming out, I feel like the only reason I want to come out is in the hopes that one of my friends will come out to me. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't want anything more in the world than to love one of my friends and have them love me back the same way. I feel like realistically, if I come out none of my friends are just oging to instantly come out to me, and I'll be dissappointed, but I feel like I want to come out still.

[Skittle Flavored]

Haha, its so weird, i have the same thoughts as you! When i came out, it was awkward at first, and yes there were some social problems. Some hatred, people ignoring me. But some friends really and truly accepted me for who i am. And one of my friends actually did come out to me as well, and we dated for 3 weeks! Sounds a bit cliche, but it was cute. I think that if your passionate enough, you shouldn't live in fear and in isolation.

Although, if your friends do not come out, don't get disappointed. Either A: Their not ready to come out, and their time to come out is completely up to them. Or B: They might not be gay. It happens.

I'd love to know what you choose though, and the outcomes of either way. PM me with whatever decision you make.

[Lifeguard18]

It's all what you believe in. If people don't want to be your friend just because you like guys instead of girls they are not really your friends. If they are your friends and you think it is ok they will accept you for who you are. I came out just to one of my friends she's bi and accepted me. I am bi. In the future I will start to tell more people when I am comfortable with it. At least start with someone you trust if you only want one person to know like I did. All I am saying is it is up to you for what you believe in and follow your heart

[pontiacdriver]

I'm 17, a junior in high school. I have a lot of good friends. I'd say I'm pretty popular and doing very well socially. Over the past year or so I've been slowly accepting the possibility that I might be gay.
I want to know if it is worth coming out to one of my best friends. I won't have to live a lie and pretend I'm straight. On the other hand it could lead to the end of a friendship, as I imagine it would be kind of awkward for us both. Is it worth possibly isolating myself from one or more of my friends to come out? What were some of your social impacts when you came out?

Also, when I think about coming out, I feel like the only reason I want to come out is in the hopes that one of my friends will come out to me. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't want anything more in the world than to love one of my friends and have them love me back the same way. I feel like realistically, if I come out none of my friends are just oging to instantly come out to me, and I'll be dissappointed, but I feel like I want to come out still.

I agree with the posts above that if folks won't accept you for who you are, then they are not really your friends plain and simple. On one side it is senseless to postpone the inevitable especially since you know that you are gay and that you will come out sooner or later. However, you need to do a risk/benefit analysis as only you can put together such a table as none of us know how your real life is. What I mean is that if coming out will make you a social outcast at school and cause enormous problems for you at home, then you should hold off until you are in college (which I am guessing is a couple months away or one year off if you are a junior) where folks are very accepting and where you won't be under the day-to-day control of your parents. However, if your parents are already on board with your being gay, and if your school has other gay kids who are accepted as regular people, then coming out as gay really should not be a problem. Perhaps your difficulty is that things are somewhere in between with folks not necessarily being homophobic but not being gay friendly either. If that is the case, then come out to folks who you know are understanding and leave your sexuality private to those who will not be so understanding. Again, look at the overall situation on the ground and make sure that coming out will not cause turmoil in your life right now especially with school still being in session. If you want to come out but are not sure about other's reactions, then I would wait until summer when you don't have the additional pressure of school and have enough downtime to recover from any problems. This may not be the best time of year to come out especially with the end of the school year coming up.

As for your best friend, I think coming out to him/her is appropriate as if this person is really your best friend, then he/she should be there for you. If this person cannot accept your sexuality, then it is clear that your relationship with that person had issues. This friend has to find out sooner or later, but just make sure that you choose a good moment. Also, plan for the worst just in case your friend has a bad reaction, or if he/she tells others about your sexuality with the news eventually making it back to your parents if they don't know.