Addicted

[AkAngel]

The first time I ever cut was in 7th grade. Every time i did it i felt like i was protesting, that there was something more to me that nobody would ever figure out. I guess i was right, because when my friends found out they didnt understand it either. That year my school counciler found out and i had to tell my Grandmother. She yelled at me and told me never to again. I've been doing it for about three years now. Its allways been my addiction, and now when i dont do it i get all messed up. I dont want to stop, i dont want to be told its wrong. My friends cant stop me and now i cant stop myself. Im not suicidal, i dont want to die. I do it because it feels right. I dont tell anyone i do it anymore, i refuse to go to counciling, and i dont think i qualify as depressed. Its wrong, but it feels so right. I dont know how to stop myself, and it scares me. This is my first forum so i was wondering..How do I Stop? :(

[shadow_moses]

Cutting isn't wrong, it's not exactly healthy, but you're getting addicted to the rush and release of endorphins (sp?) It may feel right but its not doing much good. You may not be depressed, but it could be stress. Just like smoking marijuana you have to confront yourself to stop, the longer you go without it the better you'll start feeling cause you're not having to hide or lie anymore and you get the satisfaction that it is a previous chapter of your life and that you almost forget why you started. Its one thing if you slip, but a whole other story if you relapse in the words of my psychiatrist.

[jacknife]

Do you really want to stop? If it feels right then why stop? You are not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.

[Triceratops]

You're right, self-harming IS wrong. And I know it feels "right" but we have to break through these devious thoughts. The reason it feels right is because you are releasing endorphins (which make you feel good) but it is damaging yourself and you are being cruel to yourself.
If you don't know how to stop, or you want to stop then I do recommend you see a therapist of some sort. You can't do this alone.

Also, keeping your self-harming a secret is the worst thing. I'm not saying you shout it out to the rest of the world, but at least let your parents or close friends be aware because you will feel so much better with their support.

We are always here if you ever need to talk. :)