So confused

[Joe3140]

This past year and a half my social has improved an unbelievable amount. There's a group of me and my 4 best friends (were all guys) and now we all have our licenses and do everything together.
I've sorta been questioning my sexualitiy for a little while now but it was never at the front of my mind as a huge importance. Now there's a girl who I've been friends with for a while, and everyone thinks we like each other and are real close to going out. But I just don't feel a connection with her, there's no spark for me and I don't think a relationship would work. So now I have to figure out a way to let her down lightly and come up with a reason.

The problem is I think the real reason there's no spark is because I'm thinking I'm gay. I have just never had an emotional connection with girls like I have with guys. I look at my best friends and feel so strongly for them, but I don't feel that for anyone else. I think I'm in love, with my guy friends, some more than others. But I'm able to feel strong emotional connections and the physical attraction side of it is definitely there too.

I'm so confused what I should do. I've been trying to just ignore it for a long time now, but its too hard to ignore. I wish I could tell my best friend that I love him but that just wouldnt go over well. I know I'd be outcasted from anyone in my school and I guess I have to keep my emotions bottled up at elast until I graduate next year?

[Θάνατος]

You could be gay or straight maybe even bi.

It is OK to not feel any emotional bond with girls, just because you don't have this bond doesn't mean you are gay. A lot of people have strong emotional bonds with their best friends and even love them. There is nothing wrong with loving your best friends. What you do and how you act on this will determine your sexuality.

I do agree with your statement that if you say anything how you feel you will be alone. Being alone is one of the worst things that can happen to an individual. I came out last year to my friends and I lost all of me friends. It really sucks to be alone. I sit night after night in my room all alone and the only friends that I can say that I have now are friends that I have met online.

It is best to hind your feeling from your friends until you really know how you feel and how you want to act on these feelings.

I wish you luck in your quest to find out your sexuality. Don't tell anyone who you don't think that you can't trust with your secret of your sexual identity.

[byee]

Hmmm.....I know we always say sexuality is about an emotional connection, about emotional imtimacy and closeness. But, one of the things that we don't acknowledge is that regardless of our gender, most of us feel that closeness with same sex friends. And that doesn't mean we're gay, it means that we're closest to what's familiar to us. Confused?

Intimacy and closeness develops over time and with experience. So in order to determine what your feelings are, it might be a good idea to get some experience so you can more accurately determine if what you're feeling now is just the result of lack of expereicne, or if it represents something else.

You are who you are (as we all are), but during puberty who that is changes so much that it's hard to sometimes know with certainty who that is. That's why it's important to get out there and experience things first hand and get some data, rather than ponder it in an intellectual vacuum. With experience comes confidence in your feelings (and conclusions).