Update, please help. Gay guys, help?

[iphone3ghunt]

This post will be long, but please bear with me.

Since I can remember, i've seen my self with a beautiful wife, having kids. And loving this woman for who she was and her looks.

When I hit puberty things changed.

For some reason I find myself very attracted to asian girls, my first love was in 7th/8th grade, we were best friends, but never went out. I really loved her, were still best friends ^_^ but she moved back to Japan.

Ok, so I currently have a girlfriend. I am not really attracted to her because of her looks, but because of personality.

When I jack off I think of girls, and sometimes guys. Sometimes even my friends, I don't know why. Today I was doing laundry in my apartment building, and there is a sauna near the laundry room, and "hot" guy went in and he only had a towl on, and I got turned on.

Since puberty I can't really get a boner for a girl, unless I watch a porn or something. But with a guy, looking at one will turn me on instantly. I assume i'm just psychically attracted to men, but HELL NO I would never see myself married to one (no offense).

I enjoy gay porn, I enjoy straight porn. Yet I mainly watch gay porn. It was the other way around last year, maybe this is just a phase.

I don't know what other information I can provide, please ask i'll answer ASAP. But please help me, am I gay or straight.

[byee]

I'm not a gay guy, but since I'm (so far) the only respondent, I guess you're stuck with me. Perhaps some of my other qualifications might be of value!

First, at 14, I don't think you're describing anything that would indicate you're gay or bi. Sexuality doesn't come from what turns you on, it's not about arousal. It's more complicated than that, it's primarily about your feelings about yourself and girls, who you feel safest with and closest with, who you're emotionally attached to. The sexual piece comes later, after you've become aware of the emotional piece. Sexuality (regardless if it's straight or gay) is about feelings and emotions, not arousal. That piece comes later, as we're naturally aroused by those we're emotionally closest with and identify the most with as caretakers and nurturers.

Second, you've posted a lot of things about how troubled your family life is and how badly you feel about it. Those issues could easily account for the confusion you might feel, if you're worried about getting caught watching porn or your S/M humiliates you when she discovers your sexuality in the bathroom, it would be common to inhibit that sexuality. That's not a good thing, as it creates tension and worry about what's essentially a normal process.

I think you need to relax a bit here and just allow yourself to be you. With time, everything will be clear to you, and until then, you're just a teenager with a lot of hormones that creates a lot of sexual urges and feelings. Try to go easy on yourself, I think the *other* family issues are unnecessarily interferring with the normal events of puberty, which are confusing enough on their own.

[iphone3ghunt]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Honestly, I feel a lot better now. :)