Drawing things on my limbs :/

[Triceratops]

This is going to sound so messed up and freakish, but here goes.

Living with my mom and sister is getting too much for me to handle, even living with myself is a total nightmare as it is. They're always yelling and screaming and trying to take control all at once and it's driving me insane. And to cope I've started carving these horrible messages and images on my legs just like I used to. I've even carved angry faces on my arms with kitchen knives right at this moment.

Now usually I only draw these weird and horrible pictures on my legs with needles, but they're sharp enough to bleed and scar. Recently I've been using razorblades, and I'm scared it's going to gradually get worse. My self control is slipping away and the only control I have over myself is self-harming and all I can be is disgusted with myself. I'm deeply and ashamed and embarassed.

I'm terrifyed about what I'm doing to myself. I'm so damaged. Each day my self-harming is becoming more and more obvious and one of these days the truth will unfold and the whole world is going to know for a fact that I truly am a complete maniac and a psycho bitch.

[Cloud]

your not a freak or a maniac or a pshyco bitch.
since stuff is getting to much with your mum and sister is there not somewhere else you can go live for a while like a close family member like a grandparent who you can trust i think that may help you escape the negative environment and help you stop

[Triceratops]

It's way too complicated to move in with another family member as there is so much going on in their lives as well as mine. Plus, how would I tell them that I want to move in just because my sister and mom are driving me insane. There's no way in hell they would understand.

But thanks for the advice :)

[byee]

Marcie, let me start by saying that based on all the other really superb advice you give others, I just know you have it in yourself to control those urges and get thru this. Strength is strength, if it's there for others, it's available to you, too. Close your eyes, take a long, slow breath, and find it.

Then I think it's really important to find a way to calmly tell your sister and mum what's on your mind and how trying their behavior is for you. Do they know what''s going on for you and how overwhelmed you are? Show them your arms and legs, as they say a picture is worth a thousand words. Tell them what you need from them, get them to understand what's going on for you and the effect their behavior has on you. Don't fight, give this all some thought so it comes out less as an accusation and more as a plea for help.

lastly, please tell me you have a really good therapist who can help you identify and manage all these horrible feelings and urges. If you don't, put it right at the top of your list of things to do.

People get over SH, but they need the help of their families as well as outside help. Work on getting both for yourself.

[Beautiful Obsession]

Your not messed up, things are getting on top of you, self harming is what you turn to, like alot of people do. have you got any close friends or other familythat would let you crash at theres for a while? Does anybody know that your doing this? maybe if you explained to your mum and sister they would be supportive? :)

[RaeNose]

Hey! I used to cut words into my legs, too. You can still kind of see where I carved "Sex=Pain" Except for some of it didn't scar as well, so it looks like "\ - P\IN". Okay, that wasn't supposed to be humorous or whatever. However, if you're a psychopathic b**** or whatever, then we all are. We're all in the same frikin' boat here. Trust me, I'm the oldest of four siblings, my dad's never home, and my mother and my sisters yell at each other CONSTANTLY. That along with the smell of pot coming out of my neighbor's backyards on either side, it all just gets so ridiculous sometimes. It's all good, that's why we're here. :)

[silverblue]

You are not a complete maniac OR a physco bitch. Results show that 79% of teens have or still do cut themselves. It is a common thing that happens in life for teens wit troubles either at home, at school or with relationships. Problems in life happen, its not always ging to work out, it IS going to be hard. Ask yourself, what are those angry faces of-are they supposed to be you? are they your family? Feeling emotional hurts, when you feel like you cant take control of your life, when cutting yourself seems to release all your problems, in every drip that falls from your body.

I know you dont want to talk about this to anyone, i know it may embarrass/disgust you. You dont NEED to talk to anyone about this once you've regained control. What is it that is making you mad?

You dont need to tell your family that you are doing this until it gets worse (if it does) bu talk to them about the shouting, the screaming, try and see their point of view. You may think why do their points of view matter? it is because once they stop fighting, your anger may slow to a halt.

When that happens, come back and tell me. I will help you from there. Your story intruiged me and im desperate to help. Please let me

Yours truly, silverblue

[bunsy]

i might be new, but i know that what you are doing is so difficult to deal with. I know how hard it is to get over things - and doing the things you do make it go away for a while.

You need to block out your mom and your sister go to a happy place - be a geek and read a book it will actually do you wonders just escape in anyway you can, write letters to yourself with the nasty messages if its what it takes to get it off your skin (literally)

If you dont want to talk to someone then you GAVE GOT TO help YOURSELF! all these people here ARE GOING to help you do that.

we all love you :)
Bunsy

[Teen20]

You might not believe it, but this is the truth:
If you have the guts to post this here, you have the guts to stop hurting yourself.
Good luck.

[Triceratops]

Thanks guys, your advice rocks. :hug2:

You might not believe it, but this is the truth:
If you have the guts to post this here, you have the guts to stop hurting yourself.
Good luck.

Err, that's not exactly true.
So basically EVERYONE who posts here has the "guts" to stop?
I think that's bullshit, no offence.

[Teen20]

None taken :) and yes. That would be correct. I'd estimate that around 2 people in the US have self-harm issues severe enough that they deserve the term 'psycho' in that respect.