I Can't Do This Anymore

[Underground_Network]

I can't do this anymore. I've lost all of my motivation and all of my cares. My gym teacher told us to imagine something "happy" and breathe in and breathe out and it would "calm us down" today... I couldn't think of a single happy thing. And even when I could, it made me upset rather than happy. I just give up. I can't change, I won't change, and unless I change I can't live like this. I don't have the will to change or to tell someone I have a problem... Lets just hope that if I attempt suicide it fails so someone sees that I'm really fucked up and need help...

[Bynum17]

Can you be more specific as to what you're hurt about? Sometimes pretending everything is alright can make you happy. Think of it this way if everyone else is going to be mean to you, why be mean to yourself as well? If you are happy to yourself, chances are you will at least begin the day on the right side of the bed.

[Underground_Network]

People who know me on here (who have responded to my other threads, both recently and over the years) know what I'm talking about.. I'd rather not elaborate for a plethora of reasons...

[HidekiErikku]

Well if you dont elaborate on this "Plethora" then why even post this? Thats almost being hypocritical. To post a thread in a forum asking for help but unwilling to forgo the information needed to help you with. I say if you truly wanted help, stop being stubborn and spill the beans. Letting loose all that you hold in can solve many stress issues as well. So please if you will, what is it exactly that you need help on?

[Triceratops]

Adam just needs to vent out his emotions.
Since you don't know Adam you won't understand.

Okay Adam, if I had this amazing advice I could give you, I would. But I don't know. All I can say is that we care so much about you.
I know I'm fucked up and I have people constantly yelling it at me too. I've attempted suicide a countless number of times, I've seen so many different therapists and psychiatrists over the years and it hasn't changed me, and neither do I have the will to change.
I won't suggest you see a therapist or anything like that because I don't think that will particularly help. Just remember that we're all here for you.

Sorry if this is a lame post, but I do know exactly how you feel.
I just hope you feel better soon :hug:

[Underground_Network]

I don't know. I don't understand it anymore. But I have like, I guess the equivalent of massive mood swings. One minute I'll feel depressed beyond belief, the next I'll feel ridiculously happy, like I'm on ecstasy or something. This used to happen something like once or twice A YEAR, now it happens almost every fucking day.

The slightest things are setting me off. A bad grade, the failure to do something I wanted to do, f-ing up when talking with one of my friends, screwing up in a FUCKING video game... The littlest, and I mean littlest, things are setting me off. But they're not making me angry at other people, they're depressing me and making me angry at myself. And I still feel like I'm beyond all help.

The only psychiatrist I ever went to deemed there was nothing wrong with me and just sucked my mom's money out of her pockets for nothing. He'd talk to me, I'd barely say anything, and our sessions would be over. It was worthless. My family can't fucking afford to live in our fucking house let alone hire a therapist or psychiatrist right now. It's just not happening.

I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I know if I keep letting this, whatever it is, grow inside of me, I may just snap and not only hurt myself but hurt other people. You don't understand how I feel, I care more about other people than I care about myself. I don't like to see people hurt in any way (physically or emotionally)... And the disturbing thing is I can see myself doing that. And I don't want to do that.

I want to stop myself before it ever gets to that. My life is just too fucked up. I just don't know. I don't know what to do or what I can do. Its just too fucked up... Everything is too fucked up.

[Beautiful Obsession]

well i think u really should tell a friend at least? ur havin thoughts about committing suicide?

[Underground_Network]

Ay, fuck this. I don't know, I can't handle myself going from happy to depressed to happy to depressed. Its too much. I've had professional help; it did nothing but make the situation worse. I've talked to people; it did nothing but make the situation worse. I don't know what to do, I don't even really care. Things aren't perfect, they'll never be close to perfect... I don't know, one second I'm happy, the next I'm suicidal, the next I'm homicidal, the next I'm dizzy and feel high, I don't know what's wrong with me. Probably too many things to mention. I've pretty much decided on living a care-free life, but not to the extent of doing whatever the fuck I please, just to the extent of living and not caring (and not necessarily the optimistic view of this). I may commit suicide eventually, but if I do it will be "accidental."