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SingASadSong4408
March 9th, 2009, 03:05 PM
Here's my latest song!!!!! I'm thinking of posting some vids of me singing songs on youtube, what do you guys think?

"Song For You"

Here's the story of a loser
Trying hard not to lose her
said a thousand words
but she never was heard
the plotline
it starts right here
cause she let go of everything

CHORUS:
when he looked at her
and the world stopped spinning
she thought for a minute
that she might be winning
till she lost
went home that say
and finally cried
cause she believed his lies all along
the she cut the tears and
she wrote him...
this song

Now, I dont really have a set second verse yet, I have some ideas, but nothing permanent yet, so I'm gonna leave it blank for now.

Chorus: when he looked at her
and the world stopped spinning
she thought for a minute
that she might be winning
till she lost
went home that say
and finally cried
cause she believed his lies all along
the she cut the tears and
she wrote him...
this song

Feel the pages turning
smell the world
breathe in the burning
now
Don't let go
cause then he'll know
that

Chorus: when he looked at her
and the world stopped spinning
she thought for a minute
that she might be winning
till she lost
went home that say
and finally cried
cause she believed his lies all along
the she cut the tears and
she wrote him...
this song


Instrumental

There's another chapter to this story
an epilogue of sorts
where the boy hears her song
realizes he was wrong
wants to make things right
but he can't
cause he's too scared
I should know
I was there...

CHORUS (Reprise)
'Cause when he looked at me
the world stopped spinning
I thought for a minute
that I might be winning
till I Lost.... Lost


When he looked at me
the world stopped spinning
I thought for a minute that I
might be winning
till I lost
Went home that day and finally cried
cause I believed his lies
all along
then I cut the tears and I wrote him
this song
I wrote you
this song

Cause when you looked at me
the world stopped spinning
I thought for a minute that I
might be winning
till I lost
went home that day and finally cried
cause I believed your lies all along
then I cut the crap and I wrote you
this song.
this song.
oh woahh this song....



END.



hope you all like it!
You're Truly and Sincerley and All That Shiz,
Carlie!!!!!


*This Song is dedicated to and inspired by B.R.*

SingASadSong4408
March 28th, 2009, 11:28 AM
no comments? :(

Underground_Network
March 28th, 2009, 11:37 AM
I have to say I really like the chorus.

Overall its very good, but I'd like to see your ideas for the second verse. :)

SingASadSong4408
March 29th, 2009, 09:43 AM
thank you for commenting!!!! :D :D ha. well, im thinking of stuff for the second verse, but if you have any ideas, it'd be appreciated!

Underground_Network
March 29th, 2009, 09:46 AM
I'm not good at contributing ideas to other people's work, especially when its a girl's. 0.o

I mean, whenever I have to revise someone else's work in my creative writing 2 class (and it usually ends up being a girl's), I end up just saying how wonderful it is and maybe pointing out a few grammar errors or misspellings. When it comes to contributing ideas I usually just suck.

I'm only good at writing full pieces (at least in terms of poetry and songs) on my own. I've never been good at peer revision lol...

Viral Death
March 30th, 2009, 10:50 PM
Very very very great that is good