NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! i cant belive how useless(i think) i am!

[mexa]

here ive always thought i could defend my friends from something or someone to just prove to myself today that i cant!!!
this bitchy teacher is going to fail 2 of my friends next bimesters (thats how it works here, here being mexico) just cause they were "lazy" according to her...does a 8 sound lazy to you? (grades go from 5 to 10 in here, 10 being the max(no duh)), does having similar grades on other assignments sound lazy to you? does she (the teacher) care?HAH! like hell she does!! can you tell me why?! can you tell me why cant i react as i always thought i would?! why would i be afraid godddammit!!!
even if she made me fail rest of the year id be fine, but did i try to stop her? noooo!!! why? i dont know!!! no...she doesnt really intimidate me...i think im just afraid...afraid of failing to my friends, plus making things worse for me...im just contradicting myself aaaaah!!!

*sigh* well i pretty much answered this for myself, but i still feel like something is missing >.<...i need some advice/answers, ANYTHING that can actually soothe my mind...please...thanks to all in advance.

[IAMWILL]

Ok, you're just having a really bad day. Relax, eat something you love, sleep, play your favorite game. You always feel worse when you think about it, so just get your mind off it. Harder than it sounds, yet it's not impossible. You need a day or two to recover, so only hang out with your trusty best friends at school, and don't take anything to seriously.

Bottom line: chill out, relax, and don't worry!

[byee]

Maybe you're responding to the unfairness of it?

When people in authority respond unfairly to people, esp.people we like, then we often react with shock and horror, but mostly, with a sense of helplessness. We WANT to do something, but in the absence of that feeling of fairness/fair play, we're not quite so sure what to do. That's b/c we're all supposed to play by then same rules, regardless of our 'position' on the hierarchy, it's a basic understanding of how things should go. When that doesn't happen, we characteristically react by feeling outraged, but also feeling vulnerable to expresing it. We want to help, yet we don't want to get in trouble at the same time.

So, there are two things to do. The first is to offer support and reassurance to your friends here. The other is to remind them that if the teacher actually follows thru on the threat to lower the grade b/c of some perceived 'laziness', that they should tell their parents. Parents have a much better shot at addressing the problem, b/c the school people are accounatble to parents (unfortunately, not to their students).

But, do not take it upon yourself to fight the battle directly with the teacher, it's one that you wil not win, and your efforts will be wasted. Better to provide support and the reminder that their parents are the one's to fight this one.

[mexa]

The other is to remind them that if the teacher actually follows thru on the threat to lower the grade b/c of some perceived 'laziness', that they should tell their parents. Parents have a much better shot at addressing the problem, b/c the school people are accounatble to parents (unfortunately, not to their students).



yeah that reminder of threat is not a threat, she said she WOULD do it cause apparently she can if she wants to

[byee]

Right, as an authority she CAN do it, but your friend can also tell his folks, too. If he feels she's misusing her authority and grading him based not so much on ability, but some 'psychological' dimension, like laziness, that's out of line and inappropriate. Grades should reflect performance, not personality.

You're showing good judgement by not talking back to the teacher or otherwise 'defending' your friend, it won't work here, and you'll just get into trouble. Be supportive, and if she does follow thru, then remind him that his folks would be good allies to have here.