guess what.. more girl problems!

[jakieboi]

well girls just seem to be one bit problem haha well im gonna ask 1st of all is...
any1 read my post about my GF anya and how i cheated on her and bla bla bla? if not its a long story (i didnt cheat on her on puerpos it just happened :S)

well.. i met her through a friend it was going well i got to know her reli liked her... we met up with aload of mate and we hit it off (nothink sexual) and well 3 months have past :) longist relacionship soo far and god i love her to bits :) but...

we was out on a bit of a drinking night and and i was cuddling up to her and she just wasnt like ''cuddling back'' that night i asked her why this was.. and she sed she liked her own space.. far enough.. we talked for around 2 hours as you do... you no getting to no her a bit better.. then i sed i wouldnt change anythink about you except one thing... the fact u dont like cuddling :\

she sed she would try and change for me and to me that mean's she like's me enought to change.. but when i talk to her on msn once in wile i would say somethink like ''i havent stop thinking about u allday'' or send her a romantic song... is it me or is that sweet? haha

and for u people who dont know me (im a nervus reack) i get parnoin reli easly.. because when i would say somethink sweet all she would say was ''awwww'' and that to me was like she didnt care...

so being me i asked her best friend if she likes me.. she sed yeah she thinks she does alot (coz my GF is a very quite person) but her best friend is one of them people who like to cuddle up and stuff so i get reli jelose when i see her cuddling up with me best friend...

and her best friend (lois) sed that i should treat her like i hate her and then she will feel more like she wonts me... and tbh thats totaly not me.. i like treating a girl like she is the most importante thing in the world..

and i know.. girls dont liek clingy people.. what im asking is..

what can i do to get my gf to well ''love me more'' or just fell more comftable around me...

why is it girls think boys dont wonna feel loved?? god what i would give to have GF that when she saw me she came and gave me a kiss and hug...

when i see my girl all my confedunce just goes out the window :S

when i see my mates all there GF's just grab there hands and put there arm's around them etc etc but with me its allways me doing it.. and ive been told over and over agen that its out job!!

well girls im telling u now i bet most the boys out there would like it if u grabed there hand for a change :)

well any adivce? haha

if u wont me to post some background info coz my life is a huge reack atm i need serios help lol

cheers guy this forum has helped me soo much b4 :)

xxx

[Mzor203]

I'm just a tad confused at the wording of this post. I can't tell if you're still going out with Anya or this is a different girl, so sorry if I confuse you with the advice you give.

Now, if this is Anya you're going out with, she is still most likely going to be hurt that you cheated on her. The only thing that can mend that for good would be time, but it can be furthered by talkiing to her about it, apologizing to her for it, and just showing her that you care.

Now, this next part applies to pretty much any girl like this. Again, the main factor is time. As time goes by, they will either like you more, or not. You can always do things to express your feelings and show her how much you care, but don't overdo things. You've got to let her warm up to you.

As you said, your girlfriend is a quiet type, so even if it doesn't seem like she likes you as much as some of the other girls like their boyfriends, maybe she does, she's more shy about expressing it. Over time that should diminish as well, as she gets comfortable with the concept of expressing her love and going out with you.

Don't push things, keep doing the small things you do to show you love her, and things will eventually become more close between you guys. :)

[jakieboi]

well yes i am still going out with anya and i cheated on her about 2 weeks into the relasionship...

and her bestfriend told me she is cold hearted.. the only time she cryed was when her dad died :(

and i spose ur right its all about trust dont u think?

to be honist i dont feel comfitable on the phone to her..

im on the phone to her bestfriend more then her :\

and i dont think i over do it..

and her friends have sed to me ''aww wish i had a BF that cared as much as u do'' so i gotta be doing somthink right :S

[byee]

First, her Friend who said to ignore her as a way of getting her to be closer isn't one to be listened to. If you make her feel abandoned, there's a better chance she'll withdraw even more.

OK, I think the issue here is your insecurity. Whatever that's about, whatever is causing it seems to be getting in the way here. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves and expressing the closeness they feel. You need the full-on, full -blown, 'drop a bomb on me so I know you love me' approach, which probably isn't realistic. At least, not with her. You should then decide if there's enough else about her worth keeping around.

I think it's Ok to let your partner know what you need (more cuddling), and it's reasonable to expect them to follow thru, that's what caring means: Listening. But, if she's close to you, if she's exclusively yours, if you know she loves you, you have to respect her way of showing it. You can help someone understand your needs, but you cannot expect them to compensate for some other issue (your insecurity) that has nothing to do with them.

Help her do some basic things for you, but recognize your insecurity has nothing to do with her, and that it's best addressed in another way.

[Mzor203]

Well yes, if girls are telling you that you're eing that nice,then obviously you ARE doing something right. On the whole it sounds like you're upholding your end of the relationship very well.

As for the trust part, yes, you've got to let that heal. If, as you said, she is willing to change part of herself for you, that means that she likes you to some degree at least. You've just got to keep showing her that you're trustworthy, and that you love her, and eventually that trust will build back up. You just have to be patient.

You may find that after she trusts you more, she starts showing you a deeper, more intimate part of herself that she's not going to show to just anyone, in case they exploit it and hurt her with it. So, for example with the cuddling, she just might not feel that she trusts you enough to be intimate with you because she doesn't know if the relationship is going to last, and thus might not want to take that chance of getting her heart broken after showing you that part of her.

So just keep going how you're going, and she should warm up to you more as time goes by.

[jakieboi]

cheers mate
give me a "HIGH 5" thats cheered me up :D
cheer man couldnt of asked for a better reply