Something horrible happened

[Dark Angel 26]

I had a horrible day today. The last month or so hasn't been very good at all, and now this happens. On top of everything else.
I got a text message from my friend today. It said:

''I needed a friend so I texted you. But you're not the friend I though you were. I won't be texting again.''

I don't know what's happened. He refuses to answer the phone to me, so I can't even find out what what's going on. I've been crying on and off all day and I feel really bad. I don't get it at all. I keep feeling like I've done something to upset him in some way, but the thing is, I know I haven't. This was so out of the blue. Nothing's happened between us to warrant this, so I don't have a clue where it's come from.
What's worse is that he's my only friend. I lost all my old friends a while back, but I've just about coped, you know, I was muddling along. But now I've lost him too.
I want to cut, so bad. I know I musn't but this hurts so much. Whenever I get close to someone I lose them.
This hurts so bad. I want to cut.

[Mzor203]

You need to find out why this is. You see him at school, or somewhere else, right? If you haven't done anything, then you don't deserve to just be thrown away like that. You need to figure out his motives behind this, what caused it, what you can do to help, etc. It might just be that you said something he took the wrong way, or you forgot to answer a text, or something like that. But if you can confront him face to face, and try to figure out what is wrong, then there is a possibility you can set things straight.

And you're right, you shouldn't cut. Don't do that, it'll make things seems temporarily better, but it'll just come out worse, in the end. What you need is more friends. Do you know why you lost your other friends before? Because if you could find more people to hang out with and help you, then things will be better. It sounds like you are lonely right now, and it'll help to find some people to do stuff with to take your mind off of things.

Anyway, as for the main problem here, you have to figure out why he did this. Confront him and demand an explanation if you need to. Just do wha it takes to set things right between you two, so you have someone, at least.

[byee]

Oh, this is terrible, I'm really sorry for you! Not only did you lose someone you cared for, and your only friend, but you have no idea why. That's awful. On top of everything else, you have no control over this at all.

You have to believe that if he was your best friend, there was a reason for that, and whatever misunderstanding/misperception that caused him to react so strongly will pass and the feelings he has for you will prevail here. So, after whatever dust settles, let's assume he'll get back in touch with you, if only to explain himself and give you the opportunity to do likewise.

I think there are a few things to do in the mean time. First, is to send him some communication very clearly saying that you recognize he's upset, yet genuinely don't understand why, and this must be the result of some misunderstanding, and to please contact you to resolve this. Make sure to sign it warmly, and with your name. You want to remind him there that the relationship predates whatever nonsense he's falsely responding to, and that there are good, warm feelings.

Then, you might ask mutual friends if they know what might have occurred. Often, friends can act as moderators and middlemen to provide both people with info and hopefully facilitate resolution.

lastly, recognize that this is very stressful, and the way to deal with stress is with more TLC. That means no cutting, you're in enough pain already, you don't need more. Find other outlets, other people who might not be as close, but are better than being alone.

The last chapter hasn't been written yet, hang in there for more info from him.

[Dark Angel 26]

Thank you for your advise guys. Unfortunately, on Saturday night I caved, and I did cut, which I really didn't want to do, but I felt like I couldn't cope.
Anyway, on the subject of my friend, nothing has happened yet. The first couple of days after this happened I tried texting and calling him, but no reply to either.
I went and talked my favorite teacher, because after this I really needed someone to talk to. His advise was to leave all contact for a few days, and give my friend a little time to calm down a bit, and then send him a message that gets right to the point.
So I have just done that. I sent him a message saying basically, I can recognise that you are upset over something that's happened with us, but I'm leaving it up to you to decide what you want to do.
I also made it clear that I want an explanation from him, because I'm still very much in the dark about this whole situation.
I also said that whatever the outcome of this, I'm always here if he needs me, you know?
So, I kinda have to play the waiting game now. In the meantime, I'm just trying not to think about this mess, 'cause it's been really getting me down.

[Triceratops]

I'm so sorry to hear that.
If this guys is treating you like this, then he isn't the good friend you think he is. Your teacher was right though, and it's good that you have someone to talk to rather than no one.
Your friend may be going through a rough time and is really down at the moment. He may just be taking his frustration out on others. Give him time and like you said, you're always there if he needs you.
Though if he isn't having any trouble and has just decided to send you that message out of the blue then that's a completely different story. I think the message you sent was very reasonable and if your friend doesn't have the decency to reply then, honestly, he's not worth it. You've tried your best with him and he's being idiotic about this situation.
If you can't get any contact with him whatsoever then I suggest you try and find information out from others who are also friends with him, or know him well.

As for the cutting part, please refrain from it! Just hold on. Everything will be resolved sooner or later, I promise. To stop yourself from cutting try and occupy yourself with some hobbies or activity of some sort, it does help. Just remember to stay strong because things can only get better, hun.

Good luck :).

[Halibut]

man, you should really confront him face to face about it. thats not right, expecially since you cant think of anything you did wrong! thats retarted and if he does not have a honest reason. do you think he is worth the friendship?

[Dark Angel 26]

I am really glad that I do have my teacher. I've mentioned him before in some other posts. He's so easy to talk to. You guys on VT are great too. Everybody has good advise. And everybody really listens too.
On Saturday, when all this happened, my mum got home from work. She knows how much I care about my friend, but all she said was,
''You always pick the wrong ones don't you!''

Well, I guess, to a certain degree, she's right! I don't have very much luck when it comes to friends! But at the time, that's not at all what I wanted to hear!:no:

[Beautiful Obsession]

You need to find out whats going on with your mate. If you havnt done anything then just go round to his house or up to him at school and ask him what it is u'v done. Ino its hard not to cut, im not going to tell you not to cut because i do. And im not a hypocrit. But just see whats been going on first before u harm yourself, it could be a complete misunderstanding. :)

[Dark Angel 26]

It's been about three weeks now, and I still don't have any idea what's going on with him. My teacher gave some advice and told me to leave it for a few days, and then see what happens, so that's what I did. But there's still no luck. I've been calling him and texting him, but he just isn't interested anymore. I wish I could just go up and see him, but he does live quite far away. And he knows that I don't have much money at the moment, and I can't always get there. God knows I've tried though.
I know it sounds like I'm being a tad defeatist, but I'm kinda starting to feel resigned to the fact that nothing is going to happen now. I know, I know, it sounds like I'm giving up. Maybe I am, I don't know. That's just what it feels like to me.
Although, I will always be greatful for the time we did have together. I wish it could have carried on, without all this upset. But, to be honest, I do feel that he's treated me very unfairly.
It has been real difficult though. I have cut, numerous times, because I felt like I just couldn't cope with it all.

[RaeNose]

Oh, hun, I hope you're okay. (I'm sorry, but when I see someone hurting, I get really maternal... even though I'm 16.) I want to give up, too. But we have to stick to the promises that we've made to our friends, our families, ourselves. God knows that you've been trying, and he wants you to keep going. It's like, you're on an invisible bridge. You've made that first step and God's walking you through it. But the wind's blowing your feet out from under you and you can't see where you're going and you just want to go back where you thought it was safe. But you know it's not truly safe back where you were, it's just a lot easier to live with. You have to keep going and fight this. I'm with you all the way.