A discussion to help with my English paper.

[theOperaGhost]

My English paper is about online life, especially when compared to real life.

Basically, I want to know what you think about online friendships. Are they comparable to friendships in real life? Do you think having online friends lowers your ability to make friends in real life, or does it help? Overall, do you think it is healthy to have solely online friends or should there be a balance between the amount of time you spend with online friends and real friends?

I may/will ask more questions as I do more research and start writing my paper.

Any responses will definitely be appreciated, as you guys are my research.

And just a warning, things you post MAY be directly quoted or paraphrased in my paper. I will use anonymity, however just be aware of it, so you don't post anything you wouldn't want in a paper.

I posted this in Careers and Education, however it could be fitting in ROTW or TWPR. If the other mods are ok with it, I may want to move it at some time if I'm not getting the response I would like. TWPR would hinder the amount of responses I would like, but leave it here for a while. I may report it if I would like it moved to get a better response.

[Perseus]

Yes, I think I can compre my online friendships with people I know in real life.
I dont really think that having online friends can help or decrease the way you make friends because on Xbox Live for example, you can play a game w/ them think they are cool add them and never play with them again, bt in real life you actually need to get to know them before you can call youself friends.
I sorta think it should be balanced but I spend more time with my online friends( well actually I talk to someone everyday I know in real life on XBL) because some of the people in my school are potheads and think they're so cool because they can play a sport, so I think they're annoying, but it really depends.

[Mzor203]

I think you pretty much are aware of my thoughts on this, but just so you have it down, these are my thoughts:

The situation generally varies, quite a bit. But overall, I do not think online friendships are bad, and I think they are beneficial as well. You are talking to people, which gives you practice talking and can increase your confidence. It can be a bad thing to be addicted to the internet, and if you are really addicted, then it will definitely hinder or completely destroy your social life.

The other part of it is that, a lot of the time it is much easier to find people you can click with online, people who share your morals, interests, etc. So that can be valuale, especially if you find those people in real life.

If you have more specific questions, ask me on MSN.

[Gumleaf]

i think online friendships are great. if you can find someone/s that you can really connect with, it can be very beneficial. the difference between real life and online friendships is that you can open up more then you would with real life friends without the fear of them seeing you different because there are no expectations or assumptions made about you in the same way you would if it was real life. the problem with making many online friends or having basically only online friends is that you isolate yourself from your real world life and by doing that its ultimately going to make it harder to make real life friends because you are totally embroiled into the virtual world. therefore there should definetly be a balance between having real life and online friends. as great as online friendships can be and as close a connection you can make with someone, it can never replace a real life friendship and thats why its important to have a healthy balance between them.

[adam dockery]

please put this in ur paper "and adam dockery says, If u give ppl shit about makin friends online then go jump off the nearest building, or find a sharp object of some kind and insert it into ur heart" then flick every body off, i guarantee u'll get an "A"

[nachtspiegel]

please put this in ur paper "and adam dockery says, If u give ppl shit about makin friends online then go jump off the nearest building, or find a sharp object of some kind and insert it into ur heart" then flick every body off, i guarantee u'll get an "A"

Or, his prof. will drop him from the class or give him an "F".

[adam dockery]

^^ well fine mr. negative pants.

[theOperaGhost]

please put this in ur paper "and adam dockery says, If u give ppl shit about makin friends online then go jump off the nearest building, or find a sharp object of some kind and insert it into ur heart" then flick every body off, i guarantee u'll get an "A"

^^ well fine mr. negative pants.


Ok, maybe this is too much to ask, but could I have serious answers please?

Thanks for the other people that gave me serious answers. :)

[OnlyByTheNight.]

I think online friends are great because they are people you can relate to w/o having to live anywhere near them. They dont hinder my social life atall. I spend just as much, if not more, time with my real friends and i feel it is easier to talk to my real friends as my online friends give me courage as they dont HAVE TO chat to me as they dont see me in real life and knowing that people actually WANT TO talk to me gives me alot of confidence!

[AutumnDae]

Basically, I want to know what you think about online friendships. Are they comparable to friendships in real life? In some ways yes, others, no. Yes because they are great to ask for advice, to share funny stories with, get opinions on stuff from. No, because you can't physically be with them. You can't touch one another, give one another hugs or anything.

Do you think having online friends lowers your ability to make friends in real life, or does it help? I don't think that it lowers or helps. I think that in the ability to make friends, it has no impact.

Overall, do you think it is healthy to have solely online friends or should there be a balance between the amount of time you spend with online friends and real friends? I think that you should have a healthy balance for you as a person. I know people that have a hard time carrying a conversation in person, but online they are awesome. They have mainly online friends, but does have some real friends. There should be a balance, in my opinion. What that balance is though, varies for different people. If you are one who doesn't like talking in person, then you spend more time online. Which is fine. If that's what makes you happy.

[Atonement]

Are they comparable to friendships in real life?

Comparable, yes, the same, no. I think that they can be similar and can bond, but cannot be the same.

Do you think having online friends lowers your ability to make friends in real life, or does it help?

I can. But should you continue to make real life friendships, and do not let online friends interfere with your real life friends.

Overall, do you think it is healthy to have solely online friends or should there be a balance between the amount of time you spend with online friends and real friends?

There needs to be balance otherwise what social reality skills will you have?

[Oblivion]

Basically, unless you met the person in real life first, or you happen to live close by/go to the same school, I think online relationships should stay online.
They shouldn't be taken very seriously, since you obviously can't trust anything for sure on the internet. Anyone could be anyone, and lie about it without you knowing.

[Atonement]

Basically, unless you met the person in real life first, or you happen to live close by/go to the same school, I think online relationships should stay online.
They shouldn't be taken very seriously, since you obviously can't trust anything for sure on the internet. Anyone could be anyone, and lie about it without you knowing.


Yet look what happened with Cody and Rudi, sorry for using you guys as an example, but whats to say an online relationship can't become a lifetime friendship?

[Oblivion]

Just in general. And it's just my personal belief- what I would do.
I think it's great if someone finds someone they like a lot and meet them offline, but personally, I never would.

[adam dockery]

ok im sorry, i'll keep it serious.
ya online friendships are for real, it can help u meet new people, and help u make conversations and make friends outside of the online world. It can also help u releive stress, u can talk about ur problems with other ppl on VT

[INFERNO]

please put this in ur paper "and adam dockery says, If u give ppl shit about makin friends online then go jump off the nearest building, or find a sharp object of some kind and insert it into ur heart" then flick every body off, i guarantee u'll get an "A"

:facepalms:

Humans are naturally social animals, so for online relationships it depends exactly on how strong the relationship is. If you've never seen the person before or anything, then it still is a relationship, although not necessarily a safe one. If you know the person in real-life but for whatever reason you can now only see them online, that's a bit of a more stable and safe one, as you do have personal interaction with the other person.

I think there should be a balance between online and social, simply because if you have online friends, there's not really a strong way to convey emotions, after all, one of the things that is missing in text is vocal tone of the speaker, face expressions, etc... . If there is webcam and microphone, I still say there should be social interaction also, as the online can be rather ideal or too synthetic. There's interaction with you and someone else, but in real-life, you have to deal with many other people, most of whom you may not know, be able to go out in a crowd, socialize. That is something that online relationships cannot offer, cannot give the feeling of someone physically around you.

Having friends online can be a two-sided sword. It can help and it can hinder real-life relationships. It can help in the sense that if a person is uncomfortable socializing with others around them, they can socialize somewhat the same minus the fear of others around them. However, that being said, it can do the opposite also. If a person is constantly used online relationships, it will give the impression that this is how true relationships are, simple, 1-to-1. So, it depends on how strong the relationship online is, how much he/she uses it, and for how long he/she uses it.

Granted, online and real-life relationships both have the possibilities of being manipulated, lied to, cheated on, etc... . Online ones can be especially worse due to this reason, because of identity theft or because it gives the feeling that their actions aren't that bad. Anyone can get used, manipulated, etc... at any point in time. According to Dr. Hare's famous book, Without Conscience (the one I'm doing my paper for 2nd year uni abnormal psych. on), there is an estimated 2 million psychopaths in North America, many of which don't do the horrific killings we hear about but rather are very manipulative. Online it can be in some respects easier to spot it, although this depends on the actual psychopath.

[Oblivion]

Moved on Jared's request.

[Antares]

Okay, I think online friendships are okay, as long as the person has a life OUTSIDE of the internet. If they have perfectly balanced and healthy relationships outside of the internet then online ones are fine. The problem comes when people don't have that and they are under false assumtions that the internet is better than real life. That isn't true because on the internet, you don't get to meet the person, and it really damages your social skills. I think that real relationships are much more important. I think that it IS okay to have some online friends and offline friends and think its more healthy than having real relationships but again, real takes priority and online can fufill the things you cant get from a real one

[Tiberius]

I personally think that online relationships are a good thing to have. They help to move you out of your typical comfort-zone and give you some real-world experience with personal relationships. It doesn't hinder your ability to have "real-life" relationships and as I stated before, it, in my opinion, helps give you experience. You really shouldn't have just online friends, I mean, that's just unhealthy. Try to have a mix of them :D

[Jean Poutine]

Are they comparable to friendships in real life?
Yes, they do. You don't have to be face to face to share support or do stuff friends do for each other.

Do you think having online friends lowers your ability to make friends in real life, or does it help?
It helps it. Before I knew the Internet I was even worse with people that I am now.

In my case, it has helped by doing away with one part of interpersonal communications I found problematic. I found out people aren't as scary as I portrayed them to be.

Overall, do you think it is healthy to have solely online friends or should there be a balance between the amount of time you spend with online friends and real friends?
I have pretty much only online friends. There is no need for balance, nor is there even a need for a true distinction. Friends are friends, online or not.

Not having friends IRL removes nothing from my life.

[theOperaGhost]

Thank you everyone for your responses. My paper is done, but I'm going to leave this open so people can still post what you think about online friendships.

[Gumleaf]

Thank you everyone for your responses. My paper is done, but I'm going to leave this open so people can still post what you think about online friendships.

i just hope you correctly referenced me when you quoted me word for word :P

[theOperaGhost]

Yeah...I did.... ;)


Moved to Education and Careers...again. :D