I need help.

[theOperaGhost]

This is the first time I've ever made a thread in here. I think this is the first time I've ever admitted it, even to myself, but I really do need help.

I can't even say what's wrong. I know for one thing, I'm hypocritical, since I tell everyone else to do the things that I myself should be doing. I'm stubborn as hell though.

Everything is starting to take its toll on me lately though. I am down to like 3-4 hours of sleep a night, I'm starting to skip more and more classes (I still have excellent grades, but yeah, I find attendance important).

I think I'm just really stressed, but I can't fix my way of life. I know what I need to do and everything, I just can't bring myself to do it. I make excuses and everything. I just have to be online all of the time. If I have homework, I need to listen to music, because I can't concentrate otherwise, however, I listen to music online, thus I end up just spending all of my time online.

I have too many classes and too many expectations. The expectations of papers and assignments in my normal classes plus hours of practice time on three instruments, private lessons, concerts and recitals, improving. It's all just building up. I don't want to quit any of it, because I LOVE it, but I can't handle it anymore.

Right now, I just want to sit here and die. Every morning when I wake up, I just want to die. So much is going on, yet my life seems to be going nowhere. It's all just pointless.

I don't even know what this is...I think it's mainly just to vent, because I don't really have a question. If anyone leaves a post, it will be appreciated.

[Vicarious]

Man, this happens to almost everybody at some point in life, although probably not as severe as it's affecting you.

I think the problem rests in your online addiction. I'm somewhat addicted myself.

A good fix would be to do everything you need to do as soon as you get home. Tell yourself what you need to do, and tell yourself you can do it.

Lack of motivation is a really tough issue, but it can be overcome.

I believe in you.

[theOperaGhost]

My time in my dorm is so sporadic that it's hard to just sit and get something completely done until it's late. Thursdays are an exception, but I normally have nothing I have to do for Friday. I really don't have that much homework at all. I just hate going to my classes anymore. I'm not sure if it's laziness or just a feeling of being overwhelmed by my class load. Hopefully it will be better in the spring when the weather allows me to get outside more. I just feel stuck in here.

So much is going on I don't even know where to begin. I could easily change myself, but I've been mildly content up until this morning when I just wanted to be dead.

I've never felt like I did this morning; it was weird. For some reason I just woke up furious. I just stood in the shower for like 20 minutes thinking about how much I hate everything.

[Θάνατος]

Jared you gave me this advice a while back. Turn off your fucking computer and go and dos something. What happened to your friends you were going to the Y with and lifting weights. Doing something physical will help it will relieve your stress sitting around in your dorm and being online is not very helpful at all take it from me. I have been there and now I am trying to escape the computer and the false sense of security that being online gives you.

I hope I don't sound cold but my offer to talk or play xbox is always there. Take care Jared things will work out for you.

[theOperaGhost]

I'm still going to go to the Y with them, but I don't have time for that hardly anymore. I'm busy with concerts or rehearsals most nights when they go. I also didn't go when I was sick for that 2 and a half weeks.

I'm not sure if going to the Y relieves stress or not when there isn't enough time in the day to go. I do need to get going again though.

I just wish there were more time during the day. Time to go to class, do homework, practice, go to concerts, hang out with friends, and also hang out with friends online. I know for a fact I'm NOT dependent on my online friends, because I spend plenty of time with my friends. My online friends are just like any normal friends though. I want to talk to them everyday just like I do with my real life friends. It just so happens that the best time to do that is either when I should be sleeping or doing homework.

[nachtspiegel]

If you need help, get it and don't hesitate.

[Maverick]

Part of the problem is that you're overwhelmed. You understand that already. Wanting to change your life can be an overwhelming task. So that's why you aren't getting anywhere. You're already overwhelmed so changing your life seems impossible to do.

So my advice is that if you want your life to change, you gotta start somewhere. Rather than trying to look at the big picture, try and do smaller changes. If you start changing small stuff you don't like eventually it will add up to something bigger, and maybe give you the motivation to do more drastic changes.

You have to begin somewhere to get things going. If you want a suggestion, I say start getting more sleep. Starting to get more sleep is a do-able task. When you're more rested you'll be able to think clearly and feel better overall.

[theOperaGhost]

Thanks Ant. I think my lack of sleep is probably the worst of my problems. I should maybe try getting sleeping pills or something because I find it very hard to get to sleep. I'll try some things out to get to sleep sooner.

[Zephyr]

Sleep and Time Management and key.

If you're too stressed by your work load,
Take a few less credits next term if need be.

And like Rob said,
Unplug the goddamn computer and get some exercise!
It does help = ]

[Φρανκομβριτ]

everyone's a hypocrite. Take a deep breath. What you need to analyze is what is stopping you from doing these things to improve your life. Don't just say I don't know, really think about it. Even though you love it, it may be a good idea to lower your course load, even if just for the semester. That will lower a bit of stress. Try and put music on speakers and turn your moniter off, or if you have a laptop close it. If you need to talk, you know I'm here <3

[INFERNO]

Thanks Ant. I think my lack of sleep is probably the worst of my problems. I should maybe try getting sleeping pills or something because I find it very hard to get to sleep. I'll try some things out to get to sleep sooner.

Like many addictions, online ones can be hard to break. But, the simple way is as follows: turn the stupid computer off. Hell, go in another room and work. I live at home (2nd year university, maybe for 3rd year I'll go on campus) and this can be done both at home and at campus: move to another area to study, go to the library. Go, sit, study.

Also, time management. Take all the stuff that has to be done and just push it aside. Sit down and plan it out, how long for each of these things, give yourself sub-goals and sub-rewards for an overall goal (i.e. finishing a paper). Then, look at the list you've made and use that to prioritize. Think about it using this metaphor: you want to get through a wall, so either you do what you're doing and run head-first into it, or you start chiseling at the weaker spots then you get the wall down.

As for sleeping pills, I'll warn you before someone else does or before you start popping them: they have a vicious cycle. You take them, you get tired, you sleep. Yay! But, keep it up and you will get tolerant and need more and more and more. It goes in a spiral, with the only way to stop is by quit them. So, if you are to take them, don't use them for long-term use.

In 1st year university, I wasn't using sleeping pills but I was guzzling down energy drinks like no tomorrow. 3-5 monsters or rockstars per day, sometimes more. I can tolerate large amounts of caffiene and the other energy drink chemicals (i.e. take 2-3 now and I don't get even a slight feeling of "up" or "down" no matter how long I wait) but when I did get those feelings, I'd be writing tons of bullshit. When I got home, I'd pass out wake up, tired, eat breakfast, buy some energy drinks and so forth. Happily, I've gotten rid of that but that's getting a bit off-topic (although what I replaced it with, to some is far worse and according to my main psychiatrist, is the reason why I've been getting bounced around to different ones, until where I am now).

Point is, unplug the wretched machine, go somewhere good to study, prioritize and manage your time, and get sleep. Try changing your sleeping routine, such as pre-sleep routine. Let's say you eat ice cream, brush teeth then sleep (or attempt). How about, screw the ice cream, brush teeth at a different time, perhaps with a different flavour or toothbrush, then sleep. Small changes like that may seem rather silly to do, however, they may work. You cant reasonably expect to get to sleep several hours earlier in one night, you need to do it slowly, which can be a hassle.

[Andy]

Ok so I feel a bit insignificant being in here with all these people with thousands of posts and mods/admins and things.
This one is going to be a short and sweet piece of advice and although I happen to be new to this forum, I am a pro at giving out advice of this sort.

Firstly, as others have said, get out and be with friends more. You see people on forums like these in your positions tend to have problems. They feel the need to make friends more and get that human social contact. They trun to the internet, this sort of feeds their desire for friendships but doesn't do anything but make them still want more as there is no release of "happy" neurotransmitters in the brain that goes ith real human to human activities (like going down the gym with your friends that you mentioned).

I also believe you should stand down (maybe only tempororaily) from your position as counsellor. Having to listen to other peoples problems in such great detail when you have many of your own will just drag you down further and worsen your moods. You probably won't follow this advice, I know what its like to be told what to do by a noob on other forums in a position like yours, but please at least consider what I am saying.

[theOperaGhost]

Ok so I feel a bit insignificant being in here with all these people with thousands of posts and mods/admins and things.
This one is going to be a short and sweet piece of advice and although I happen to be new to this forum, I am a pro at giving out advice of this sort.

Firstly, as others have said, get out and be with friends more. You see people on forums like these in your positions tend to have problems. They feel the need to make friends more and get that human social contact. They trun to the internet, this sort of feeds their desire for friendships but doesn't do anything but make them still want more as there is no release of "happy" neurotransmitters in the brain that goes ith real human to human activities (like going down the gym with your friends that you mentioned).

I also believe you should stand down (maybe only tempororaily) from your position as counsellor. Having to listen to other peoples problems in such great detail when you have many of your own will just drag you down further and worsen your moods. You probably won't follow this advice, I know what its like to be told what to do by a noob on other forums in a position like yours, but please at least consider what I am saying.

Thanks for the great advice and welcome to the site.

I'll give an update.

I think the main reason I made this thread was to vent, and the reason I was feeling like that is because I had been sick for about 3 weeks (just felt useless and like shit). I can say that since I made this thread, I've had one of the best weeks of my life.

I was feeling so down because I had been sick for so long and hadn't really been able to hang out with friends that much. Well, I can say that I feel so much better and have resumed my normal amount of time with my friends in real life.