so confused!!!

[Halibut]

ok, so my ex jordan broke up with me because he felt we did not have a good friendship base. so we decided to work on our friendship and maybe try it again. so since we broke up we have had sex once and madeout and played around alot. and we said we ahve got to stop this if we want us to be good friends. everytime we do that we end up saying we have got to stop. but today we kinda started kissing and he said no we gotta stay friends and i was like ya. but then he carried me to his room and we just talked and stuff then left then he kept going in and out of his room then eventualy came and got me and we talked and then started making out and then fourplay and cuddleing ..we woud have done it if i did not have my period. but then after that we still cuddled and kissed and just layed togeather and when i left we kissed...i dont know what to think of this :x help me.

[Gumleaf]

well, if your relationship has been really physical so far, its going to be hard to stop doing physical stuff just like that. i like the idea of stopping physical stuff to work on other aspects of your relationship. but working on your connection together (friendship) doesn't mean that you have to cut out all physical activity, especially when this has been a big part of your relationship so far. i guess one suggestion could be to find ways that you can connect together without or a reduced temptation to get physical and stuff. so maybe you could think about that a little? but kellie, i really think that completely stopping one part of a relationship to focus completely on another will do more harm then good. so if you can find a way to balance both the physical and friendship part, then i think that would be the best thing to do.

[IAMWILL]

Get a CHASTITY BELT!!! jk

Stopping physical actions with someone you have had sex with is almost impossible, and I don't recommend it be done. You're heading in the right direction by trying to slow down and not go as far, but obviously you keep getting carried away once you hit a certain point. One way to help slow down is find out, by not getting carried away when you start to hit it off, is to find out what it is that seduces you into wanting to have sex with him, even though you know you shouldn't be. If you discover what that is, you can recognize it and stop what you're doing before it goes to far.

Stephen said a lot of what I was thinking, hope this helps though.

[byee]

Add my voice to the chorus, here. It's hard to stop a physical relationship, unless you either never see the guy again, or that part of the realtionship was just so awful that it's a relief to have it gone.

If the sex wasn't so bad, then it will be hard to remove it from the relationship, it's part of the reason it's hard to be 'just friends' after you've gone out. However, there's a reason you're not 'going out' anymore, and if you want to be true to that reason(s), then you should exert some self control and not have sex (or anything physical, ftm). Otherwise, you really haven't changed anything, other than removing the committment from the relationship. And sex without committment leaves you vulnerable if/when someone else comes along for either of you.

[jaz08]

I would also have to agree. Once physical relationship started, it's really hard to resist it as long as you are still together. There is already a strong emotional connection and dependency. Practice self-control if you are serious with what you want to do with your relationship. Or Cool off.