One of my biggest flaws...

[Underground_Network]

...is that I don't see myself worthy of any of the girls I like (or any girl for that matter), and well, I'm one of those people who puts other peoples' happiness before his own, so my mind just processes that I shouldn't bother asking any girls out because they'd be better off [happier] with someone else... I mean, its also my shyness, and maybe an excuse my mind cooks up because of my shyness, but I just can't see myself dating a girl.

Every time I try to picture myself dating a girl I like I see something wrong with myself. I see myself getting too controlling, too obsessive, etc. I'm the kind of person who gets obsessive over things, and I just don't want to ruin a girl I like's life just because I can't get enough of her/I constantly need her. I mean, I've said in the past, I desperately need a girl who's willing to listen to my feelings and who will love me unconditionally, but I'm starting to think that girl is more fantasy than reality. I mean, if no one is perfect, then there is no perfect girl, right?

I just don't know, I can't seem to find the "perfect" girl, and I can't seem to get myself to talk to any potentially "perfect" girls anyway. I mean, I used to think I needed confidence to talk to girls I like, but its more than that. Lately I've had a huge boost of confidence and my shyness has really died down, but I'm still afraid to talk to the girls I find extremely attractive (both emotionally and physically). Part of me is afraid I'll be a terrible boyfriend and another part of me just looks down on myself and sees me as nothing; someone who doesn't deserve anything, especially a beautiful, kind-hearted girl.

I'm just not sure, I haven't even thought about a relationship in the last few months, but I want to put the pieces of my life back together, and I also want someone to hold, someone to love, someone I can care for. I desperately need someone who will love me, I don't know why, I just feel compelled to acquire a girl who will love me unconditionally, its my ultimate desire right now, its above and beyond everything else. I see it more important than eating, sleeping, breathing. I just need someone right now, someone to tell me everything's okay, someone to say, "I'm here" and someone who will actually be there, and someone who I can be there for...

But yeah, I just don't know. I hate the way my mind works, I hate the way I work. I hate me. I think I need someone to love me so I can realize I shouldn't hate myself so much. I mean, how can I love myself if no one else out there is willing to love me?

Congrats on reading this if you made it this far... :/

[Gumleaf]

well firstly adam, i think everyone has the desire to be loved uncondionally. its human nature, we all need to be loved. its when you feel like you aren't loved, you fall into the trap of thinking negatively about yourself. the other thing to realise is that its very unusal for that perfect girl to be out there. some people are very lucky and can find someone virtually perfect for them, but for others the perfect girl is a fantasy. but that doesn't mean that another girl can't provide a lot of those needs you have. but i guess for you it all comes back to the confidence thing. coming from another shy person, i know that connecting with other people is hard and i know for me that i will always spend more time trying to figure out a way of how i can avoid talking to someone rather then what i can talk to them about. i think you just need to convince yourself that there are girls out there that you could really connect with and that will love you. everyne has needs in a relationship, and the type of needs you are mentioning are common for most people, so try not to worry about that. i also hope your confidence continues to increase too.

[Depressed-but-Hyper]

I think almost everyone wants someone to love, someone to care for etc. etc

Obviously your not too confident in yourself, for whatever reason may be, and this is why you can't talk to girls.
Its always hard to talk to someone you like, and i think at some point everyones shy to ask someone out.
Theres perfect girls in reality too, but that perfect girl is different for everyone.
Theres a perfect girl out there for you, but you just haven't found her yet.
You need to learn to be more self confident, and once you feel confident about yourself, you will slowly be able to speak to other girls.

Hope you find love sson :)