Rex Has Girl Trouble!

[Mzor203]

Well not really, I just think it's a funny thread title. :lol:

Okay, maybe this is just going to be a stupid question, maybe I just need to grow some balls as some people tell me (I love you too Austin), but I need help because I am uber pathetic and phail with a 'ph' when it comes to girls. (Now that was an interesting sentence).

There is a girl that I like (bet you didn't see THAT one coming) in my orchestra, aaand I think there is a possibility she likes me (I dunno, I am really horrible at these things (am I using too many parentheses?)), for the reasons that she (tries) to talk to me even when I never really have the nerve to reply, and I'm probably one of the few guys who fits her morals in this town. Plus I think I'm the only male violinist her age in this town as well. (She plays violin).

I would like to start talking her more. I think it's possible... but I really don't know how to start talking to her more. I never talk to her, so it might be a bit odd if I randomly started talking to her one day. I need some way to get some form of conversation going without it seeming weird. She does say hi to me whenever we meet each other, so is there anything I can say when she says 'hi' to start something? (I'm sorry,I just honestly, dont know. I could say 'how are you?' but the conversation would probably end after she told me how she was.)

Yes, I am aware this situation is pathetic. I'm trying!!!

[theOperaGhost]

Well, if this happens in orchestra, you could talk about the music really. Like when she started playing violin and what kind of music she likes and stuff like that. Music is normally one of the best ice breakers out there. (Almost) everyone likes music and has a general knowledge of it, so it is my favorite way to start a conversation. Once a conversation is started, it's not so hard to keep it going. One interest usually tangents off into something else etc...Use music as a catalyst.

[Mzor203]

Well, if this happens in orchestra, you could talk about the music really. Like when she started playing violin and what kind of music she likes and stuff like that. Music is normally one of the best ice breakers out there. (Almost) everyone likes music and has a general knowledge of it, so it is my favorite way to start a conversation. Once a conversation is started, it's not so hard to keep it going. One interest usually tangents off into something else etc...Use music as a catalyst.

It's not even that I have problems with... I mean, if a conversation got started, I am sure I would have endless things to talk about with her.

In orchestra we aren't going to have the time to talk about stuff anyway, really what need iis a way to simply have a quick conversation that does not consist of:

"Hi."
"Hi."

[theOperaGhost]

I see. How quick of a conversation are we talking about?

Another thing that could be possible is to not actually talk during the rehearsal, but if possible go early or stay a little after. Not so much that it disrupts your day, but enough to talk about a little bit. Like maybe plans for the weekend or something like that.

If she asks you questions...answer them, but expand...don't just say a quick reply in like one sentence or something. After that you could always come back with the "how about you?" response.

As you can tell, I'm not the best with conversations

[AutumnDae]

If you ask her a question, don't ask questions that can be answered with a one word reply.

Ask her about anything. I don't know. I'm not the greatest at conversations either. >.<

[byee]

Rex, I think you're taking yourself entirely too seriously here. Relax a bit, lean back in the chair so it's precariously resting on just two legs. Take a risk, quit ruminating.

You have a common interest, so the hard work is really done. After band, find an excuse to compliment her on her technique and ask her if she could show you afterwards, as in private.

People love instructing/showing others, it's flattering that you're asking, it shows interest on your part, and there's absolutely no risk involved. It also shows you're open minded and willing to be a bit vulnerable, which is usually quite charming. Do it.

As she's showing you, be sure you're complimenting her ability to do so, and just start talking. It will flow.

[Mzor203]

0_0

Sam, I don't think you know me... I am NOT one for risks. Even if I did plan to do something like that, I'd chicken out. I guarantee it. I have found in the past that I'm much more comfortable with people after I've known them for a while, and I'd much rather take advantage of something that's already there. Thus, I think I'd do better to simply get to know her better.

Oh, and it's impossible for me to stop ruminating. I'm going to analyze every aspect of this even if it kills me. Call me stubborn, but yeah.

[scatman]

omgggg that same thing happend to me last year i posted something about it was the girl who i shared a stand with in the first violinslol.......just talk to her youll be abl to tell does she laf at bad jokes form you, and the biggest one if her friends ask u if u like her say YES that means they know she likes you

[Triceratops]

No this situation is not pathetic! I would probably be the same.

If you play an instrument, then that would make great conversation because music is a huge topic to be discussed. Maybe just pointing out something about the orchestra or the instruments would get you talking. Ask her what other instruments she plays. But don't ask her anything that only requires a one-word answer.

Seriously, I know my advice sucks but I am really no good with questions like these. I am trying here >.<

[AutumnDae]

I would like to start talking her more. I think it's possible... but I really don't know how to start talking to her more. I never talk to her, so it might be a bit odd if I randomly started talking to her one day. I need some way to get some form of conversation going without it seeming weird. She does say hi to me whenever we meet each other, so is there anything I can say when she says 'hi' to start something? (I'm sorry,I just honestly, dont know. I could say 'how are you?' but the conversation would probably end after she told me how she was.)

Yes, I am aware this situation is pathetic. I'm trying!!!

So what if you never talk to her? I love it when random people that I don't normally talk to start talking to me! It's nice, and lets you get to know them!

And as for conversation, I'm terrible, like I said before, but just get something going, and then it will flow from there. I seem to bring conversations to a screeching halt usually, but if you just talk about something that you both know a thing or two about (uh, music?) then it will be fine!

[Cindex]

It's not always weird when people start randomly talking to you. At basketball/wrestling/football games that I go to, I talk to people for the whole time and never learn their name. Everyone enjoys a good conversation! Find something you two have in common. Something about violins would be good.

Don't worry about being pathetic either. At least you're saying hi!

Relax a little, and just let it happen. Do you have her in any other classes?

[byee]

0_0

Sam, I don't think you know me... I am NOT one for risks. Even if I did plan to do something like that, I'd chicken out. I guarantee it. I have found in the past that I'm much more comfortable with people after I've known them for a while, and I'd much rather take advantage of something that's already there. Thus, I think I'd do better to simply get to know her better.

Oh, and it's impossible for me to stop ruminating. I'm going to analyze every aspect of this even if it kills me. Call me stubborn, but yeah.


I don't know how you could read what I've wrote and claim I don't know you, Rex. Maybe you'd prefer to think I didn't! There's safety in that, I suppose, but safety doesn't keep you warm on those long, cold, dark Canadian nights, if you know what I mean.

You can use all the excuses you want, but if you want to make a friend, you'll have to take a calculated risk. She cannot read your mind, there's no way to advance thru life on mental telepathy. The advantage in this siutation is that 1) She likes you and is interested in you, and 2) You have a ready made situation to ease into it.

After the next practice, go up to her, say 'Hi!', and ask some question about her technique and if she could show you later. Easy! Keep all the anxiety and runimation and self doubt to yourself, and just do it.

[Mzor203]

I don't know how you could read what I've wrote and claim I don't know you, Rex. Maybe you'd prefer to think I didn't! There's safety in that, I suppose, but safety doesn't keep you warm on those long, cold, dark Canadian nights, if you know what I mean.

You can use all the excuses you want, but if you want to make a friend, you'll have to take a calculated risk. She cannot read your mind, there's no way to advance thru life on mental telepathy. The advantage in this siutation is that 1) She likes you and is interested in you, and 2) You have a ready made situation to ease into it.

After the next practice, go up to her, say 'Hi!', and ask some question about her technique and if she could show you later. Easy! Keep all the anxiety and runimation and self doubt to yourself, and just do it.

I'm sorry Sam, but if you did know me you'd know there is absolutely no chance of me basically going up to her and asking if we could do something later. I believe it is quite possible for me to make a friend by talking to them and getting to know them better first. That's how it's worked with any other friend I've made.

but safety doesn't keep you warm on those long, cold, dark Canadian nights, if you know what I mean.

Am I interpretng this wrong? Maybe my mind's just in the gutter. :P

[byee]

The correct interpretation of my last remark, Rex, is you have a choice: You can remain 'safe' by not connecting, or take some risks and try new things and get what it is you say you want. It sounds to me as if you're wanting something, but only if you can get it in your way. Be careful not use your avoidance as a justification.