i need someone

[dreamer1989]

can anyone talk right now? im having very strong urges to cut, and its been 1 week 4 days, and i dont want to reset the counter

[ShatteredWings]

:hug:

what's bothering you?

[dreamer1989]

i dont know. i just cant hack this. i am trying not to cut, as i have reached a point where i tend to end up with fat showing.

[ShatteredWings]

Yeah.. that's a little deep

How come you wanna cut?

[dreamer1989]

i am just lost. i went to the docs 2 weeks ago, and just got told to get councelling and to come back. i am on st johns wort, its no effect so far. i am in councelling, but i cant get the wrods out to talk about cutting. i took an od after coming home from the docs, but no effects.

[ShatteredWings]

a herbal 'remedy" is not a substitute for help. If you can't talk about the cutting, write it instead. Sometimes it's easier.

I don't claim to be an expert on meds, but i'm pretty sure that stjohnswort is a placebo, meaning it doesn't actually work, people believe it works.


Did you OD just now? On what?... dude, call 911 if you just did now.. seriously.

[dreamer1989]

nah i od'd 2 weeks ago today - felt shit for a few days, but nothing

i wanted a/d from docotr, but she didnt give me them. i am going back , but im afraid she will tell me to keep in the sjw, and even if not, there has to be a washout period between sjw and a/d

[ShatteredWings]

OK, well that's still not good

Did you tell the psychiatrist this? They're supposed to be there to help you


You're not supposed to die... you're .. just not. It's not time. I'm not sure how old you are, but since you joined, you're 19 or younger. It's not time.

What's going on in your life?



And, what does "a/d" and "sjw" mean?

[dreamer1989]

im 19

its an independant counsellor, i cant open up yet

[ShatteredWings]

Ok, like i said, it's not your time.

How does it being independent make it so you can't open up?

[dreamer1989]

no i just meant its not a pysch.

i thought a/ds would help me,. i told the gp everyhting, the urges, the idelations, the jopelessness

[ShatteredWings]

I don't know what an a/d is


If your GP won't help you, and you don't think you can get help with the counceler, then basically your choice is to take yourself to somewhere where you can get help

[dreamer1989]

antidperssent

[ShatteredWings]

Oh. ok that makes more sense now.

Yeah.. that might help you. if you're cutting as deep as you're saying, you need help, badly.

If your regualr gp won't help, find another doctor or counceler. don't just give up and decide you're hopeless

[dreamer1989]

i dont know if the gp will send me away, saying i should guive the councelling mroe time, as with the sj wort

[Atonement]

Stick in there hun, its hard, I know, but if you try, you can. Self control. It can seem like you can't control yourself, but you can. Just try. :D

Mental Crisis -> Cutting & self harm

[dreamer1989]

its the next day, and the urge is very strong

[dreamer1989]

forget it, i gave in. i dont care who reads this, it will get deleted anyway
i can see fat again. there is no point to this shit. my doc just said conselling. noone believes me. my mum thinks i am getting better, but she doesnt see the graveyard on my leg

[ShatteredWings]

Go to the hospital, NOW.

If someone won't belevie your words, show them.

[dreamer1989]

i cant - its too far away, so my mum will be suspiscious when i drive there

and asking her to take me will just be too much

[ShatteredWings]

Who cares if it's suspicious? GO

[dreamer1989]

i did go today - it was too late to get stitcjes, so they dressed it instead