Tough situation

[Joe3140]

So my parents caught me drinking. It's a long story, but they're really mad.

I've been grounded (first time ever) for a week now. They say they want to let me start going back out this weekend. But I won't be sleeping out for a longgg time if ever.

Honestly friends are the only thing i care about anymore. Not school, barely family, nothing. My choices, the way I see it, are these:

A) Go along with what my parents say. Have a restricted social life, never sleep out again. Have to report to them all the time on where I am and have limited car access. Really restricted social life.

B) Disregard all rules they give me. Go/sneak out whenever I want. Stay out whenever I want. Do whatever I want. I know they think I'm irresponsible but really I'm very intelligent and responsible, if anything a restricted social life will make me more reckless. This option would give me whatever kind of life I want for now. But, if I fail to follow through with it I'll be punished beyond any punishment ever. So I'd need to stick to it until they stop caring what I do.

Which option seems better to you? Keep in mind that I'm very close to just throwing everything away and leaving home and maybe coming back once a week for new clothes. The arguing at home is getting rediculous, I hate the expectations they give me, I'm real close to just being done with it all.

[byee]

You made a choice to drink, you got caught, there are consequences. Take them. It was your mistake. Being angry at your folks and actually planning on being even more dismissive of them sounds not only immature and selfish, it's risky, too. Somehow, I doubt they'll respond too kindly to increased untrustworthiness, being grounded for a week and then with limits on those activities where it would be more probable that you'd be drinking again seems pretty reasonable. It could be much worse.

Better you should work with them to reestablish trust in your judgement (and maybe attitude, too), and recognize that in violating their rules, you violated them, too. Start by being concillatory, and following thru with their expectations of you. It takes time to build that trust back, but if you stay with it, and maybe realize there's more at stake then your own good time, it might be easier for you. And, with increased trust of you, your parents will allow you the freedoms you might have taken for granted, but with a renewed sense of responsibility.

[Skeln]

I agree, accept the consequences and be happy it's not worse. Your family wants what's best for you, and they're there so you don't make the wrong decisions. Your two options lead to these two lives:
A-You have a better chance to lead a successful life and you live a life with less worries. You get things done when you need to, and you don't get fired from jobs.

B-You get with the wrong croud and possible start doing worse than drinking. You have a higher chance of becomming lower class citizen and you make the wrong decisions when the right one is obvious.

Parents only want what's best for their kids. Amd if they stop helping you and getting you into trouble for drinking, then it shows they no longer care. As long as someone catches your mistakes, you know they still care and are trying to help you. Gain their trust back, and they'll let you do alot more. You may think you're better off not listening, but really it only hurts you and those around you. They'll trust you more with things, and will give you more of what you want. You may think you're smart and responsible, but look at yourself through their eyes. They have no idea what goes on through your head, and they can only make decisions based on what you show them.

[stevewc90]

While you should accept the consequences, you're looking at the entire situation in 'black and white'. So here's my 'gray' area for you:

* Do as you're told for a while (this is part of acceptance of punishment), a couple of weeks maybe a month. Then pick a good time to ask to push the boundaries out a little, so you're not as restricted.

Now be prepared for the firm 'NO!' response, I get it all the time! But, keep calm and say 'Oh ok, I was just wondering because I need some way to prove to you that I've changed and can be trusted again. I won't let you and dad down again'

If you keep nice and calm, and accept the no but give good reason to want more freedom (i.e. the one I gave you) even if the answer is still the 'NO!' atleast in their heads they think 'Ok so he behaved like an adult about the situation, let's give him another week or so then we'll try it out'.

Unfortunately that won't help the drinking situation, so long as you don't do it again.

And remember, if you get your second chance don't blow it! otherwise they will be reluctant to ever trust you again. And that's a horrible horrible situation to be in my friend.

Well good luck :D