Unusual experience with best friend...

[lonelyboy15]

Last time we got drunk we ended up with our hands down each others pants for a couple minutes. He started touching me first and for some unusual reason i followed his lead (thinking, is this really happening, the entire time) but I didn't think it would get that far. Ever since we haven't talked about it and it hasn't really been awkward between us but it's got me feeling really confused about a lot of things. Like my sexuality, his sexuality, just to name a few things.I've had a couple gay thoughts but I just figured is cause of all the raging hormones...

[wavey]

Well first off, it was probs a raging hormone in both you and him, you're best friends so it is bound to have a thought for one another.
this is perfectly normal, i think you should start talking again though. possibly jsut masterbating together will do most peoples hormones to settle fine.

but its fine to experiment, thats what teen years are for !

[lonelyboy15]

Thanks for replying. We are talking we just have yet to talk about what happened...

[byee]

Booze will do that, it can impair your judgement, allowing you to do things that maybe you otherwise wouldn't do. The problem is that without the benefit of judgement you can get yourself into some trouble, and also, eventhough the effects of the booze might be temporary, the memory (and the feelings) remain afterwards.

You can choose to address what happened with your friend, or not, but maybe the real lesson is that drinking sometimes releases the handbrake just enough to cause an accident.

[Θάνατος]

Booze will do that, it can impair your judgement, allowing you to do things that maybe you otherwise wouldn't do. The problem is that without the benefit of judgement you can get yourself into some trouble, and also, even though the effects of the booze might be temporary, the memory (and the feelings) remain afterwards.

You can choose to address what happened with your friend, or not, but maybe the real lesson is that drinking sometimes releases the handbrake just enough to cause an accident.

I agree here the combination of booze drugs and hormones can cause you to do things that you would not normally do in this type of situation. Your friend is uncomfortable with talking about it because he is probably embarrassed about what happened.

The best thing to do is talk to your friend about what happened he is just as scared as you are about it or he would have said something by now.

One last thing just because this happened you are not gay or bi.

[lonelyboy15]

Thanks a lot for the replys, the advice has cleared up some of my concerns

[lonelyboy15]

One more question, how do you know when you've cross that line of experimenting from curiosity?

[aid821]

hey dude, i'd say if all of your sexual experiences were with the same sex. as for the original question, the same thing happened to me when i was 17, and it was never brought up by him or myself. some things are better left unsaid, but if there are questions you need answered, then talk to him about it. :)

[zoig]

I would just chalk it up to hormones.

[TAC1]

One more question, how do you know when you've cross that line of experimenting from curiosity?

To answer this question- I think it's when either you or your partner does something uncomfortable to the other. My opinion.

[iceyfresh]

Ok simple its puberty like a comon thing is for guys to mastrubate with and touch there friends and it does not mean there gay at all just curious. No Worry's man. ;)

[IAMWILL]

I will explain this in a complex mathematical equation:
Alcohol + Teenagers + Hormones + Puberty / Curiosity - Feelings = What has happened to you.

[Tiberius]

Booze+ hormones create and interesting combination. If things aren't weird between you two then don't worry about it, it was just one of those moments.

[byee]

One more question, how do you know when you've cross that line of experimenting from curiosity?

Well, experimenting is the result of curiosity. I think you mean when do you cross the line from experimenting to lifestyle (or choice)?

The answer is typically after the first or second try. After that, clearly you have the info to satisfy your curiosity, so you're then doing *it* not so much b/c you're 'curious'. but b/c you like it and have made a choice to continue doing *it*.

Same sex experiences don't make you gay, even if you do them repeatedly. However, if you continue to do them repeatedly and exclusively over a period of time, you are telling yourself something about your preference.

[Stark]

It's probably just hormones, but if it's really bothering you, then talk to him about it.

[lonelyboy15]

Well, experimenting is the result of curiosity. I think you mean when do you cross the line from experimenting to lifestyle (or choice)?

The answer is typically after the first or second try. After that, clearly you have the info to satisfy your curiosity, so you're then doing *it* not so much b/c you're 'curious'. but b/c you like it and have made a choice to continue doing *it*.

Same sex experiences don't make you gay, even if you do them repeatedly. However, if you continue to do them repeatedly and exclusively over a period of time, you are telling yourself something about your preference.

That's exactly what I meant by the question. Ever since it's happened I keep thinking about it and i'm a kinda open to experimenting again and i guess I find myself wanting to, its all just a little confusing... Especially since I don't know how he feels about it... Does he want to experiment? Is he gay? Does he have feelings for me?

I agree here the combination of booze drugs and hormones can cause you to do things that you would not normally do in this type of situation. Your friend is uncomfortable with talking about it because he is probably embarrassed about what happened.

The best thing to do is talk to your friend about what happened he is just as scared as you are about it or he would have said something by now.

One last thing just because this happened you are not gay or bi.

How would one go about bringing the subject up?

Ok so I hate being annoying but I haven't been getting any replys and what happened is constantly on my mind...

[byee]

Ok, sorry for the delay, I know it's hard waiting when you need to talk.


No, I don't think this experience, the feelings, or the urges make you gay. 50% of all guys have a same sex experience to orgasm, and we know that 50% of all guys aren't gay, so there's a lot of same sex *stuff* that's considered 'normal'.

In your case, it was the effects of the alcohol that made all this possible, so bringing it up when you're both sober makes it more awkward. It's hard to tell if he'd be open to this when he's sober, even if you are.

There are a couple to things to remember here. First, is that whenever sexual things are involved, it can change the relationship, and you have to be prepared for that. Sometimes it's easier to live with the curiosity.

The other thing to remember is that whenever you're involved with someone, the key to a good relationship (of any kind) is communication. So, this might be a good time to practice that and just talk with him about what happened, what his thoughts/feelings were about it, and based on his responses, you'll know if it's wise to ask to do it again.

[lonelyboy15]

Ok, sorry for the delay, I know it's hard waiting when you need to talk.


No, I don't think this experience, the feelings, or the urges make you gay. 50% of all guys have a same sex experience to orgasm, and we know that 50% of all guys aren't gay, so there's a lot of same sex *stuff* that's considered 'normal'.

In your case, it was the effects of the alcohol that made all this possible, so bringing it up when you're both sober makes it more awkward. It's hard to tell if he'd be open to this when he's sober, even if you are.

There are a couple to things to remember here. First, is that whenever sexual things are involved, it can change the relationship, and you have to be prepared for that. Sometimes it's easier to live with the curiosity.

The other thing to remember is that whenever you're involved with someone, the key to a good relationship (of any kind) is communication. So, this might be a good time to practice that and just talk with him about what happened, what his thoughts/feelings were about it, and based on his responses, you'll know if it's wise to ask to do it again.Thanks so much for getting back, I truly appreciate it.


Well i've been getting some "vibes" from him lately but I don't know if i'm thinking too much into them. Like he seems to be more present, outgoing, friendly and kinda "into" me, i dunno how to explain it, and maybe even a little touchy? I don't know... I plan on waiting till this weekend, unless he brings it up before then, to ask him about it because we plan to party again so hopefully we'll be able to discuss it alone. I'm a little worried if any of our other friends will happen to hear us or something.

[clr9823]

When there is tension between me and somebody else (the kind of tension that you could cut with a knife), I just go head first and confront the issue with them. You BOTH did it, it DID happen, and there is no point ignoring it and letting it drag back your relationship (easier said than done, mind you).
Simply:
Alcohol is a chemical that alters the brains thought.
Hormones are chemicals that alter the brains thought.
Add those together and you have an interesting combination.

[lonelyboy15]

When there is tension between me and somebody else (the kind of tension that you could cut with a knife), I just go head first and confront the issue with them. You BOTH did it, it DID happen, and there is no point ignoring it and letting it drag back your relationship (easier said than done, mind you).
Simply:
Alcohol is a chemical that alters the brains thought.
Hormones are chemicals that alter the brains thought.
Add those together and you have an interesting combination.

Thanks I know i'll confront him soon or later

[liquid ice]

dude i hade the same thing happen to me but i wasnt drunk -i dont drink- and the person and i are still friends becuase we talked about it and now that weve talked out it its better for him and me were best friends :D

[lonelyboy15]

So the issue was constantly on my mind so the other day we were talking about last weekend and how much fun we had and we both were like "yeah we need to do that again" but I wasn't sure if he was talking about the drinking or the drinking & the messing around so I confronted him & asked if he remembered everything that happened that night. I told him "I remember if you remember" and than he confessed the same. The conversation was really good though, we both discussed our sexualities and whats been going on, like feelings we've been getting and how were both a little bi-curious. We both had been going through the exact same things for some time now but never confessed to anyone about it so it felt really good knowing we weren't by ourselves dealing with those kind of issues anymore. In the end everything was all good, in fact I feel like our friendship has gotten better since we both have something we can relate to.

The only thing i'm not sure about is wether or not he wants to mess around again...

I know i've probably said this enough times but thanks everyone who replied, I really appreciate the help.

[accordionman]

Only time will tell. Sexual orientation — being lesbian, bisexual, gay, or straight, is about sexual attraction. It can take years to understand our sexual orientation. Each of us has to answer these questions for ourselves, but it may take time before we can answer. Rest assured that many teens (and adults too!) are still figuring out their sexuality — what you're experiencing is more common than you might think!

So many people, young and older, have questions about their sexual orientation that there is actually a name for them. Many identify themselves and are identified by others as "questioning."

People who are attracted to people of both genders sometimes call themselves bisexual. No one knows for sure what makes people lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual. Sexual orientation develops naturally — perhaps even before birth. Although sexual orientation may seem to shift for some people in the course of a lifetime, it is not something that people can decide for themselves or others.

So, it's completely OK to be wondering about your sexuality. There are some resources at outproud.org that may help you sort through some of your feelings.

Hope this information helps!

Take care!

AccordionMan

[Justin16]

Well, experimenting is the result of curiosity. I think you mean when do you cross the line from experimenting to lifestyle (or choice)?

The answer is typically after the first or second try. After that, clearly you have the info to satisfy your curiosity, so you're then doing *it* not so much b/c you're 'curious'. but b/c you like it and have made a choice to continue doing *it*.

Same sex experiences don't make you gay, even if you do them repeatedly. However, if you continue to do them repeatedly and exclusively over a period of time, you are telling yourself something about your preference.Yeah but some things aren't gay even after 10 times.

For example if two guys jerk off with each other while watching porn, maybe it is the sexual feeling regarding the porn that gets them off, while the comradery / brotherly feelings that make them feel good jerking off with each other.

[Bigboy1]

Just don't drink so much next time!!!

[lonelyboy15]

Ok guys heres an update:

We mess around anytime we get the chance to. Jacking each other off, blow jobs and once we came really close to fucking. Like whenever no one's home or if we end up spending the night together... I'm not really oppose to it and it's obvious neither is he because he's usually the one to start things. I know i'm straight but i'm also curious and when I first asked him after the very first incident when we were drunk he said he's " kinda in the middle" like he said he's "always liked girls but there's always that one little feeling"... So the other day after we messed around for like the third time, I asked him if he thought he was gay and I think he kinda got offended... He said no but the way he said it, with his tone i could he got a little offended. Now i'm worried he's secretly questioning my sexuality because I questioned him. The conversation was a little weird because we were actually talking as oppose to texting but I guess it didn't bother him because the night after we were messing around again.

The only thing i'm worried about is if my friend thinks im gay or something. He's not really the type to talk about things afterwards, i'm the more vocal one & he's the more physical one. Its already been almost a week since I questioned him so I dont wanna bring it up. I dont even know know if thats whats really bothering me but deep down something is...

[Mzor203]

If this relationship is making you uncertain or uncomfortable, it may signal that you two are not ready for this. By doing these things you are straying very dangerous ground, and your friendship could easily be ruined if one of you starts regretting things. This type of relationship is delicate, and if you two aren't really gay, and are just really curious, it may be better to stop if you have any doubts. You're worried that he thinks you're gay, why exactly is that?

Something is bothering you, you say, and usually your intuition is correct. You should always trust your body and your feelings, even if your mind 'thinks'' there's nothing wrong, that subconscious of yours usually knows more. Listen to it.

[lonelyboy15]

If this relationship is making you uncertain or uncomfortable, it may signal that you two are not ready for this. By doing these things you are straying very dangerous ground, and your friendship could easily be ruined if one of you starts regretting things. This type of relationship is delicate, and if you two aren't really gay, and are just really curious, it may be better to stop if you have any doubts. You're worried that he thinks you're gay, why exactly is that?

Something is bothering you, you say, and usually your intuition is correct. You should always trust your body and your feelings, even if your mind 'thinks'' there's nothing wrong, that subconscious of yours usually knows more. Listen to it.


I'm worried he thinks i'm gay because I questioned him. If he thinks i'm gay he might feel uncomfortable with experimenting. He may come to think i'm expecting more out of it than just messing around. I just want him to be sure that I too am on the same page that he's on.

[rugbykidd]

Booze and hormones probably ent the best mix, but if you talk to eachother and both enjoyed the "experience", maybe try it sobre. Dont base your sexuality on one experience

[Skylar15]

we where just messing around

[lonelyboy15]

My unusual experience with my friend has gotten worse. I find myself constantly attracted to him. Right after we're done messing around i'm just waiting for the next time. I don't know what to do...

[marcus24rich]

My unusual experience with my friend has gotten worse. I find myself constantly attracted to him. Right after we're done messing around i'm just waiting for the next time. I don't know what to do...

you are just attracted to him there really isnt anything you can do

[Oblivion]

Sorry, didn't realize it was the OP that bumped.
Unlocked ;)

[lonelyboy15]

you are just attracted to him there really isnt anything you can doI feel like this could tarnish our friendship. If i'm constantly thinking about him or having sex with him whenever I see him or spend the night with him doesn't that mean I have more feelings for him than I should have?

[newfiee 13]

if your worried about your sexuality dont be you were drunk and didnt know the differenc

[Ikey]

Lol...
Booze... Oh well... U were drunk!
I'd just get over it.

[kangaskan240]

booze are wonderful aye?

[lonelyboy15]

I'm over what originally happened, its just the situation has evolved into something else now...

[YourFriend]

Well probebly that was all becouse of those hormone thingyes.

I wish I was in that kind of situation....I am gay and I am proud of it!